A Thanksgiving to Remember

I wake up early to the smell of the turkey that had been in the oven all night roasting. I roll out of bed and onto my feet with eagerness. Quickly, I trot to the bathroom across the hall to begin my morning routine. After I get done with that I run to the kitchen and inhale deeply. "Now, don't you dare touch the deviled eggs in the fridge. We have to save those for later," My mom scolded as I grabbed the handle. I dropped my hand to my side and smiled at her to hide my mischievousness. "But mama, can I at least eat the ones that are broken?" I ask sweetly showing her my big brown puppy-dog eyes. "One, that's it, Leah," she held up her pointer finger, and raised an eyebrow at me. I nodded and also held up my pointer as I opened the fridge. I reached in and grabbed one that had more stuff than the rest on it, and put the whole thing in my mouth, "Thank you," I spoke around the egg. Mom nodded at me, and used her hand to silently shoo me away. I turned and walked into the dining room where dad was reading the morning news paper, "Good morning, pops," I sat next to him, and grabbed his coffee cup. I made a face after I took a sip of the black coffee. I heard him chuckle, "Good morning, baby. You know I always drink my coffee black, and yet you insist on taking a sip every time," he put the paper down, and smiled at me over his glasses. "I have to get that good jumpstart to my day, ya know?" I take another gruesome sip, and shudder. "What are you going to do today until dinner is ready?" dad asks me, and gently takes the coffee from me to finish it off. "Oh, I don't know. I may take a walk in the woods or something. I could ride my bike down to the lake and contemplate the meaning of life," I stroke my imaginary beard. Dad laughed and shook his head a little. I loved listening to my dad's hearty laugh, so I try to make him smile as often as possible. "For real though, I'll probably just take a walk in the woods to get some fresh air," I nod and stand up. "Are you going in your lion king pajamas?" Dad looked at me, confused. I shook my head and rolled my eyes playfully. "I'm going to change right now, and then I'm leaving," I walk to my room, and change quickly, putting on whatever warm shirt I could find along with some fleece lined leggings. I slide my boots on, and tie them up. "Hey, honey, can you do me a favor before you go on your nature walk?" I hear my dad ask. "Yeah. What is it?" I walk into the dining room again. "Can you run this small package and a few bills to the post office?" He holds up the stuff and puts his lower lip out. "Yes, I can. That way I get in biking and walking all in one day," I take the mail from his hands, and lean down so he can kiss my forehead. "Just make sure you're back by dinner!" I hear mom call from the kitchen. "I will, I promise! I wouldn't miss that for the world," Dad chuckled at my statement, and patted my back. As I walk to the garage I grab my helmet from the hat-stand.

On my way down the street I closed my eyes to enjoy the breeze that gently caressed my cheeks. When I opened my eyes I looked at the house to the right of me. I felt the sadness prick my heart, and a couple tears stung my eyes. That's when it hit me that this was going to be the first thanksgiving without Gammy. Gammy loved thanksgiving. Every year I would ride to her house on my bike, and she would be standing on the porch in her curlers to greet me. Gammy only curled her hair for special occasions, and to her Thanksgiving was the most special occasion besides Christmas and Easter. She would always have me some of her homemade candy waiting when I stopped. I was the only great grandchild that cared anything about her. I would help her with her gardening, and then we would sit on the porch and have a nice cold glass of lemonade while we enjoyed our hard days work. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks, and I smiled. The flowers were wilting now, and the windows have a few cobwebs in them, but mom couldn't bring herself to sell the house, and my aunt nor my uncle wanted it. I put my hand in my pocket with the house keys in it, and pull them out. I looked at the keys then at the door, and hopped off my bike. I rolled the bike up to the porch, and I leaned it against the stair railing. I walked up to the door, and took a deep breath before sliding the key in and turning the lock. Click. The door unlocked, and I slowly opened it. I had to push a few cobwebs out of my face as I entered, but nonetheless it still looked the same as the day she passed. I took a deep breath and smelled Gammy’s perfume that lingered wherever she went. It was strong, but she always worked it. I stepped into the living room and glanced around at the pictures that the family had just left hanging around. Mom couldn't bring herself to even step onto the porch since Gammy left. I was the first to be in the house in months. A picture on the mantle of the fireplace caught my attention, and I picked it up. When I dusted it off I realized it was a picture of me, Gammy, and Grandpops on a day when I was about 10. They were going to the beach, and wanted us all to go with them, but only me, mom, and dad did. They said they never had a favorite child, grandchild, or great grandchild, but I beg to differ. I always felt like I was the favorite, and the majority of these pictures seems to prove my point.

I walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. Grandpops and I had so many talks at this table. Especially on Thanksgiving. He would always say, "Well, llama, what are you thankful for this year?" Llama was a nickname he had for me. No one else except Grandpops was allowed to call me that. Towards the end of his life my answer would always be "Another thanksgiving with you, Grandpops,” and he would just shake his head after the first year I said it. I loved my Grandpops. I stood up from the table and rubbed my hand across it feeling the way the grain twisted and turned. I looked towards the hallway, and walked solemnly to the stairs. I took one step up, and then another until I was at the top. I remember many nights of sneaking up these stairs so I wouldn’t wake them up from their chairs. I walked into my old room, and smiled at the artwork that I placed ever so precisely on the walls. Gammy didn’t yell at me, but rather she went behind me and made her own art above it. We laughed that night before Gammy read my bedtime story. I laid on the bed and closed my eyes for a minute. When I opened them I took a deep breath, and I was surprised to smell Gammy’s homemade candy.

“Leah, come down here honey, I’ve made your favorite candy,” I hear Gammys voice call to me. I shook my head with my eyes closed. I couldn’t actually be hearing her right now. I stood up then made my way back into the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the figure before me with her hair in curlers, and candy on the counter. “Grammy?” I ran around the counter and wrapped my arms tightly around her. “Hi, baby. I’ve missed you,” she kissed my forehead, and pulled away. “I’ve missed you so much, Grammy. Mom hasn’t been the same without you,” I looked at her and she gently wiped the tears away with her thumbs. “I know, sweetie. I haven’t been gone the whole time. I visit you guys all the time. I see your mother’s tears. I know what she wishes that she could have said to me. I want you to know something. That warm feeling you get when you are upset in your room, is me. I have wanted to wipe your tears so many nights, and I just couldn’t. But know that I’m with you,” Grammy smiled her sweet smile, and I watched her crows feet form at the corner of her eyes. I smiled softly, and bury my face in her shoulder with a deep breath. “Know that I’m with you, your mom, and your dad, and that when you’re sad I will hold you,” Grammy played with my hair, and kept kissing my forehead once in a while. 

I nodded at her and stepped back a little. “Is grandpops with you?” I looked around. Grammy shook her head, “not this time dear, but he does come with me,” she looked at me with sad eyes. I nodded with a slightly bummed look on my face. Grammy caressed my cheek which made me look up at her. “I have to go now, Leah. I will always be here, and I love you. I love your mom. I love your dad,” and with that Grammy vanished in front of my eyes. I blinked and opened my eyes in the room the way it had been. The aroma of the candy had left the air, and was once again replaced by the musky smell of her perfume. I looked at my phone, and realized that I had been asleep for about three hours. I quickly rushed down the stairs and out the door, but I made sure to lock it back. I took the mail to the post office, and then rode back to my house. Dinner was in an hour and I had to hurry to help set the table. When I got to the house I was met outside by my dad on the porch. “Woah, kiddo. What’s the rush?” He looked at me. “I stopped by Grammy’s and accidentally fell asleep on my bed,” I shied away from him. I knew he could tell that I had been crying. My eyes were probably puffy and bloodshot. “That’s okay kiddo. That’s why Grams gave you a house key in the first place, so you could stop by whenever you wanted to,” Dad gave me a reassuring smile. I nodded and walked inside and straight to the kitchen to get the plates and utensils. Mom didn’t say a word to me, and I noticed that the kitchen window was open. She walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me. I felt the warmth that I always got from Grammy radiating from her, and when I looked into mom’s eyes I saw Grammy. For as long as mom is alive, Grammy will be too.

That’s when it hit me. Mom and Grammy would fuss and argue over stuff almost constantly. “Mama, I visited Grammy’s house,” I looked down. I felt mom hug me tighter. “I had a dream and Grammy visited me in the dream,” this is when mom held me at arms length, and smiled a little. “What’d she say?” The eagerness beamed from her eyes to know what Grammy had to say. “That even though we can’t see her she’s here. She knows how you feel, and hears the things you’ve wanted to say. She loves you mama,” I watched as a single tear dripped from my moms eye, and she pulled me into a hug again. “I needed that reconciliation with Grammy. I was so hateful towards her in the end, and every single day I live with that regret,” I felt mama sob into my shoulder, so I just rubbed her back and let her cry it out. Dad walked in, and joined the hug as well. “Grams loved us all unconditionally,” I heard him whisper softly with a small voice crack. I knew he was crying too. When I glanced up over his shoulder I saw Grandpops leaning against the counter. I smiled and nodded towards him. In return he mouthed, “I love you, Llama,” before vanishing.