Desperate Remedies

Content warning: suicide, substance abuse, physical abuse, and violence

Desperate Remedies

By Lindsey Keller

There was something I had been practicing for months. It seemed like a typical science fair project, but it wasn’t that fatuous. In fact, I could save my world with this thing. 

Looking up at the hunk of metal I felt a wave of satisfaction rush over me. I had done it. Taking a deep breath I turned it on. The circuits and fans were working perfectly. After hours of retouching different aspects, my travel to the past machine was ready! Most people would’ve called it a time machine, but heck, I’m not like most people.

Lately my peers have learned the art of vegging like no other generation had. Which is saying something I’ve seen gen Z, grandma was so lazy before she passed. But now, gen Beta takes the cake for half-assing and cutting corners to get a faster result. I believe that to have something truly great, one must work for it. My travel to the past machine was the fruit of that belief. As I ran my fingertips over the metal I fell into a trance, I couldn’t wait to change the world. At least, my world. 

Just as I was finally smiling again, Rilo came into the garage. Rage filled, bloodshot eyes. Alcoholism really should have been left in the past, what an outdated thing to do. I rolled my eyes while my face was away from my father. He paced for a second and as I finally gave him the time of day, I noted the red liquid on his hands. He was prone to a short fuse lifestyle, but had he taken it too far? He looked distraught. Actually, he looked… dare I say remorseful? I had never thought I’d use that term for the flabby fella. I traced the blood spatters on the floor to the door to the house.  

“Shit! What is that from?” I look back at him hoping, praying he wasn’t completely anger blind. What an idiot. His hands shook, was it the rage or was it a burden upon his spirit? I pushed past it and quickly entered the house. Following the spatter to where my lifeless mother laid. He had gone too far. Her face was bruised and neck swollen. Was her nose broken? Geez, he always hit her, but he always knew not to kill her. The sudden fear of being his next victim produced beads up on my upper lip and temples. Crap. I know what he did.

The police never help anymore, they are basically paid to drive around. Do they pull anyone over? Of course not. They are utterly useless, which is why crimes run rampant in the states– or what is left of them. There were only four unified states, but that’s mainly because the states are so small it wasn’t worth disputing boundaries with each other. In the great place of Delaware, yet another body would be added to the infinity growing cold case list. Geez what a mess. I lean down and kiss Mom on the forehead, I will fix this. Lifting myself up and marching back into the garage, I found Rilo beating up his wall. Yep, a regular drywall covered with punctures. He really ‘otta start exercising more, it would help him tame the beast.

“She's dead, you know?”

“Yeah.” He continued his rampage. What an asshole.

I press my thumbs onto the lock of the travel to the past machine. This is it Mom. The machine unlocks and sucks me into it. Within the leathery seat the control panel appears. The date of Mom’s second day of Junior year is already entered… mainly because I had been testing a manual entry and it never worked. Thus, we are visiting Mom in high school, where she met this rat sack. He ended up dropping out a week after they met. The hypothesis is that if Mom is not there to meet Rilo, then she wouldn’t have been beaten so many times by him. Now that she’s dead I have no choice. I have to save her, even if it means I’m not alive when we come back. I press the red button and strap myself to the seat with the crummy seatbelt I managed to find in a scrapyard.

Goodbye cruel world! Twenty eleven here I come! The world starts spinning, lights strobe, my head feels like it is compressing. What on earth, I was not prepared for this. Just about the time I feel like I’m going to puke the machine stops. Light shines through the holes in the metal. Unbuckling the belt and attempting to breath, I open the door. I’m in the middle of nowhere. Not that I had expected to know where I would land, but I figured I would stay within the state. Guess we’ll have to find out. I pull out my phone and leave a pin where the machine is so I don’t lose it. Here we go. Stepping out into the old world it looks nothing like the world I’m used to. For one, it is actually pretty and there are a multitude of trees. How weird. I then approach a building, looks like a business rather than a house. That’s a good sign. I open the door and a song I remember hearing my Mom listen to is playing. Something about kicks. 

A man stood by a desk staring at me. I looked a bit under-clothed, it wasn’t uncommon for teenagers to wear minimal clothing when I am from. But I guess the layered tank tops and bright colors were the range. What was up with the poofy ruffles and tight tank tops that flare out? People thought I looked weird. I approached the man and asked him what day it was.

“August sixteenth. Why aren’t you in school, young lady?” I haven't been to school in years. It wasn’t normal to go… I was ready to get back there, but it was interesting to be here. 

“Can you tell me where Frizo High School is?”

“Yeah, it’s about thirty minutes from here. Are you running away?”

This man and his random questions. Like it was any of his business. Would I be asking where school is if I were a run away? But alas, “No, just couldn’t get a ride to school and I’m trying to figure out how far I have to walk.”

“You’re walking?” He started laughing. “You won’t make it in time, school starts in fifteen minutes. Can I give you a lift?”

“Sure.” 

“Boss I’ll be back” The man yelled and escorted me to the parking lot out front. There his little blue car sat. Ugly. 

The drive was very quiet, but the radio kept playing familiar songs. The pop genre always reminded me of Mom. She was a die hard fan of all the cluby kinda music. The man dropped me off at school and I waved, entering Frizo High. What’s weird is that this building is just bones when I’m from, it’s not what I imagined it would look like. The front office attendant looked at me and asked for my student ID.

“I must have left it at home… I’m staying with my cousin for a while and my aunt insisted I go to school for now.”

“Who is your cousin?” 

“Emily Schafer.”

The quick clacking of the attendant’s long acrylic nails drove me nuts. So glad these are left in the past.

“Your name is?”

“Thorne Shafer.”

“Thorne? That’s an interesting name. Also,” she looked over her glasses, “You will need another shirt. That’s not in the dress code.” I figured my stomach showing would be a problem, but I have no other clothes. “Don’t worry honey, you can borrow one from the nurses office.”

I just smiled, I’ll probably be given an ugly ‘field day’ shirt. Mom had plenty of those.

“I’ll put you with your cousin for today, we’ll see how you do. Just stick with her, you’ll have the same schedule.” The woman gave me a freshly printed schedule and waved me through, tossing me a shirt to wear. Oh boy. 

A friendly senior boy was helping the counseling office and escorted me to my class. The bell rang and the halls flooded. 

“That’s the room you’ll be in, good luck.” He left and I have never felt so alone within such a huge crowd. Holy cow, let’s get this show on the road.

I took a seat and waited for the rest of the class. I had no paper so I opted to be in the back so I didn’t draw attention. The teacher’s phone rang and she nodded, stealing a glance at me. When she hung up she approached me and gave me some loose leaf paper.

“I hear you’re Emily’s cousin?”

“Yes, please don’t mention that to the others though. She and I aren’t the best of friends and I’d rather not embarrass her or myself.”

“Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry. Here’s a pencil. Today is an easy day.”

Then out of the corner of my eye a shady dude with the face of a god came into the room. Holy crap! It’s Rilo! I could see the same shifty eyes I just left at home. I don’t blame Mom. But I had to get him away from her. I stood and walked to the teacher’s desk.

“Miss, when I was going to the bathroom earlier, that boy over there with the blue backpack touched my butt. I’m not super comfortable being in the same class as him.” Her eyes looked shocked. Guess it worked.

“I understand, let me make a call.” She looked over at him and then made a private call on her blackberry. 

The classes dragged on and I had managed to get Rilo suspended for a week. This might have been enough. Mom was beautiful. Not very popular, not too nerdy. She actually seemed pretty cool. Better than the bag of bones I had grown to know. She used to be radiant, how did she change so much?

I followed her to the bus stop, hoping I could get an invite to hangout with her. When she didn’t invite me I realized how screwed I was. No place to go. I would be fine. She seemed like she liked me though, glad we could at least get along. 

The next afternoon, the classes were the same. So was my outfit. I got some looks, probably because I was the new girl. Rilo was out, I got to sit next to Mom, and she was talking to a much cuter guy. I had solved the whole thing. There was no mention of him in any conversations. I almost felt bad. The day dragged along and the night came too quickly. I opted to sleep up in a tree this evening. Mainly because I hadn’t ever seen a tree with enough branches to do something like this. It beat sleeping with the bugs and grass.

By Friday, I had established a relationship with mom. I got invited to go to the back to school pool party she was hosting. The best part was that it was a sleepover, which meant no more tree sleeping. I had  no idea how excited I would be to get to sleep on the carpet. It was sad to be honest.

Everyone was whispering today. The rumors were that Rilo offed himself last night. Intoxication apparently. Served him right, I’m shocked he hadn’t done that in his older age! I had saved Mom. Which probably meant I needed to go home, but my phone was almost dead. I hadn’t used it for the past few days to maintain the battery life. Thankfully, I probably had enough to get back to where it landed.

After school I hugged Emily and our mutual friends. I apologized to them for not being able to go to the party. Then by noon, I was walking back to the travel to the past machine. I can’t believe Rilo was gone and out of Mom’s life. I had a liberation moment as I pressed my thumbs to the lock of the machine. Thankfully, because it was in the woods it hadn’t been messed with. 

“Here we go.” I buckled the belt around my waist. The clock already set back to my common era. I pressed the button and then a loud boom. My body felt even worse than it had coming here. I had figured I may not make it back since Rilo wasn’t around, which meant half of my DNA wasn’t there anymore. A thud and the gloominess of my world felt comforting. What a crazy week. I also desperately needed a shower too.

When I walked into the house, Mom was singing and cooking. It was like her high school light was still inside her. She looked well fed too! I was so excited, I forgot that she may not know me. I moved into the kitchen to test the waters. When Mom caught the movement in the corner of her eyes she shrieked and held the spatula in front of her as a weapon. Yep, she didn’t know me. Just about the time she was yelling for me to tell her who I was, my body began to tingle. The worst case scenario was coming to life. I was dying. Or maybe just fading away?

Mom shrieked at the sign of my hands disappearing. As I faded all I could think about was how happy I was for her to be alive and well. I was happy because she was happy. This may have been a crazy idea for me to have fixed her life, but it was a desperate remedy I was willing to pursue. 

“I love you.” I said, her face confused. My body was barely there, I was leaving. And then, I was gone.