till the day I say

“Maybe I should say that you are the only thing that matters” Andrew thought as he brushed his teeth “Or maybe I should say that you are the sunshine of my life and I will go to an eternal darkness without you” As always he was in the deep sea of his seemingly never ending thoughts that always arise with the question what should I say?

He was done brushing his teeth so he started walking towards his bed. He feared that this time would be like the time when he had to tell Caroline (his 10th grade girlfriend) that he is gay. He thought that he might say that Caroline was the most beautiful ,charming and intelligent woman he had ever met. He thought he might say that it was nothing personal he just didn’t feel sexually attracted to her. But he ended up saying that they should break up, he wanted to say more but words just seem to have disappeared from his mouth. 

He laid down on his bed and opened Elliot’s photo on his phone. Elliot was his boyfriend for two years and he wanted to purpose him but he was afraid that he would mess it up like always, because he couldn’t really say anything he wanted to say.

Next morning he arrived at his office. Elliot was his colleague too. He was waiting for him.

“Look who’s here,” Elliot said, “I just wanted to remind you that it’s our 2 years anniversary today so don’t be late. You do remember that we are celebrating it at my place this time. ”

“Maybe I should use poetry “ Andrew was still thinking about what he would say.

“Hello are you listening?”

“Uh-huh I will be there.”

“Oh I am gonna mess it up like I messed up our first year anniversary” Andrew thought. On the day of their first year anniversary Andrew was supposed to meet Elliot’s mother and convince her that he was right for Elliot. He thought about a lot of things to say to her. He thought he would tell her about his remarkable educational history. Or the time when he saved his friend’s life by giving him CPR. Or maybe he would tell her about his parents who are the ideal couple. Instead the only words he said were “hi, nice to meet you and goodbye”.

Andrew had decided that he would purposed Elliot no matter what. So he decided to go to a pawn shop to get a ring. What type of ring should he buy he started to think while he was driving . "It must be unique yet simple. It must have a ruby. And it must have his name or initial engraved on it." He reached his destination. In the pawn shop when the shopkeeper asked him what he wanted he told him to give him a wedding ring. When the shopkeeper asked what type of ring he said a wedding ring.

"oh shit I messed it up," he thought while driving. The ring he got wasn't really bad but it was an emerald ring with an initial 'A'. After that he went to buy a dress to wear for the night. He thought what should he wear "May be a black and white suit or maybe an orange jumpsuit no no. I think I should wear a button ups with a tight jeans just the way Elliot likes" But in the end he bought nothing because he couldn't describe what he want and salesman suggested that he should go home and think about it.

At home he thought he should call his mother and tell her that how grateful he was that she supported him when she found out he was gay. He thought that he should talk about the time when she saved him from some homophobic bullies at school. Maybe he would talk about how she argued with his father when he was not willing to accept him and wanted to send him to a gay conversion camp. Or maybe when she encouraged him to talk to his high school crush who then became his first boyfriend. He dialed her number but when she picked up he said "Mom I am getting married"

"Whaaaaaaaat?"

"I mean I am purposing Elliot"

"oh thank God you didn't decide to marry some rebound after breaking up with Elliot"

"Really mom "

He talked to her mother for sometime and then started to prepare for his big night.

It was about 8 pm. Andrew had come to Elliot’s house. He was wearing a black tuxedo. The time to make Elliot his forever, was upon him. He opened the door by the key Elliot had given him and walked in. Elliot was wearing a black and white suit. All of the lights of the house were off. And there were candles everywhere. Elliot’s face was looking magical in the light of the candles. “I should tell him that he makes my life magical. When I am with him I feel like the center of the universe. He is the sweetness of my life “ . Elliot moved towards him. He gathered his courage “Will you marry me?” he said in a rush

“What?” Elliot sounded surprised and confused   

Andrew wanted to say something but there were no words that came into his mind.

Elliot chuckled and said “How many times have I told you to leave the talking to me” 

Andrew didn’t understand. Elliot bent his knee and said, "You are the strangest yet the best thing that has happened to me. You make me feel whole. You are the reason I want to explore this world more and more. You are the reason I have faith in miracles. Andrew Mark Glaberman will you marry me ”he showed him the ring. Andrew said yes. Elliot stood up and started kissing him. 

On that day Andrew learned that sometimes destiny has his own plans. Most of the time they ruin yours but sometimes they empower your plans in a way that you feel like the luckiest person of the world.