In another life time.

In another life time

Even at your lowest love knocks at your door but at times is just not the right moment, making us say “Maybe in another life time,” to our love of our life.

June 21 1887

Katherine reminisce as those words faded away in the air once again like in the last 20 years

“Maybe in another life?”

Katherine looked outside her window as she saw the rain fall down, losing herself in her own thoughts.

Taking herself back 20 years ago, when she would be in Alexander’s arms. Where both of them vowed to love each other to the end and fight for their love against everything and everyone. But deep inside she knew this night was different and their love story was about to change forever. Even though she was in denial she knew it was the end to the beginning.

Tonight was the last time they would be in each other’s arms. As Alexander would hug Katherine tighter than ever before and their kisses were as passionately as in those romance movies they would see over and over again at night. When they would hug she felt, she was home and would get lost in that feeling. That feeling that would freeze everything even time at that moment. That feeling that would make her feel safe without questioning anything as she would fall asleep in Alexander’s arms.

Alexander chuckled, as he looked down to Katherine and seeing her asleep like the countless times she would do when they were together. Seeing her asleep in peace in his arms Alexander would fall in love with her more and more each time making it harder for him to let her go. Just the thought of losing her would make him scared and fear that one day someone else would come in her life and take her away from him forever. Alexander sighed and kissed Katherine’s forehead and held her closer to him. To where Katherine could hear his heart beating and would cuddle closer to his chest and caress him slowly as she kissed his chest and smiled.

“You fell asleep again my love.” As he caress her face and her hair. Loosing himself in the moment and wishing nothing of this would never end. She was his and he was hers.

“I cannot help it my love,” Katherine replied. “I cannot explain it but every time I am in your arms I feel this fuzzy, warm feeling that I Just feel safe, comfortable and myself when I am with you and I just close my eyes to grasp the moment. When we are like this I feel we become one and nothing else matters to us anymore. I love you so much you are my home my refuge. Kiss me my love?”

Katherine and Alexander were different from one another. Katherine coming from a broken home and with traumas while Alexander was family orientated with a set mind and vision of his own future. While Katherine was still fighting to figure her own future. But one thing Katherine was sure of she was ready to settle down and have a family with Alexander. While Alexander was not ready to settle down nor have kids at the moment. Alexander just wanted to live that bachelor life alluring other woman like if he was a single man. Alexander just love the attention that every woman would give him.

For the last year in the four years of their relationship and been together Alexander’s decisions was starting to affect their relationship making Katherine feel like she was the problem to their relationship falling apart and loosing confident in herself. Drifting apart from each other and constant disagreements and arguments. Katherine started to become more broken from the inside than ever before she was losing her love of her life and even though she wanted to leave him she just could not but at the end Alexander was the only thing she knew and could not live with the thought of been without him anymore. Katherine had to come to terms whether to leave or stay with him and live a misery life that was about to start. For weeks she would tell herself, “Today is the day. The day I walk away and not look back.” But every time she would be wrong and she would end up staying with Alexander and every night she would go to bed crying because she was not happy anymore.

“Why cannot I leave him?” she would ask herself over and over again

“I do not want this life for me anymore?”

“I love him and he loves me, but why are we like this?”

 “Why do we continue to collide?”

 “I feel like I do not even know my love or myself anymore.” Katherine signed in despaired

“Maybe he will change, and have my Alexander back?” Katherine would fill herself with hope over and over again as the months passed by and the same outcome would stay the same and no change was made from Alexander.

This time Katherine love toward Alexander was just lingering in a thin thread and prolonging their separation was just growing harder for each other as they would hurt one another in so many ways. But none of them was ready to say goodbye even though they knew that was the best thing to do at this time.

Those passionately kisses were gone. Those romantic strolls were vanished, sleeping in the same bed was gone. The only thing holding them together would be those nights were they would hug and lose themselves in the moment forgetting about their differences and choices. Making them remember their love to one another and rekindle their love all over again. One year, two years, three years have passed and things would get better just to get worst and crumble things down and going back to square one. After 8 years of holding onto the unknown things just could not be fix anymore. Katherine fought so much over the years to keep her love toward Alexander alive and together but Alexander had killed all her feelings for her and Katherine had lost hope and interest in him as he had lost interest in her in the last three years of their relationship. They were just together due to co- dependency, but Katherine could not live another second like this she was growing sick and ill with all this sadness in her heart while Alexander would leave her to go be in someone else’s arms to scape this pain and confusion.

“One more night.” Katherine whispered “one more night, and I will be free from him.” I love him but I love myself more.”

Katherine packed her clothes and got her luggage ready under the bed to leave Alexander when he would least expected.

“Alexander,” Katherine exclaimed

“What,” Alexander replied

“We need to talk.” Katherine said

“Ok.” Alexander replied “What will it be this time?” You’re not going to tell me you’re leaving me like you been telling me in the last year, right?” “We been through the same thing over and over again the outcome are always the same thing.” It is just getting old and tiring Katherine. Do not tell me you are leaving and you do not?” If you are going to leave me? Just do so for once.” As Alexander laughed as he walked away leaving Katherine without no words.

Katherine felt humiliated and hurt, at that moment she knew her love for him was gone completely. Alexander had stumble all over their love and disrespected her without any remorse there was nothing else holding her to Alexander other than hurt and anger she quickly wiped her tears. “No tears shall come out from my eyes for him anymore. I will not tell him I will leave but do so so without any warning it will be his lost not mine. I fought so much for our love and keep us together over the years but he wanted otherwise and I have grown tired of it he will never change, it is always the same story with him and I am done with his excuse and fake apologies.

Just like that Katherine grabbed her luggage and closed the door of that house she once called her home and felt safe, comfortable and happy in it in the last eight years. Now Katherine walked in despaired and confusion without a sense of direction of where she was going or even knowing what awaits for her outside of those walls. Katherine was just numb filling her heart with anger every step she would take so she would not feel no pain. As she kept walking she started to see drops of water becoming snowflakes as she started to get soaked wet. She got on her knees and started to cry as she let go of her luggage.

“Ma’am are you ok?” A deep voice of a man call upon her 

Katherine pushed him away from her saying, “leave.” Go away, leave me alone”

“No, you do not seem alright.” Said the man as he tried to pick Katherine up. As Katherine fought him without looking at the man.

“What is your name?” the man asked without giving up on Katherine under her conditions she was.

Katherine continue to fight him and trying to get up but she would stumble into his arms. “Get away from me!” “Who are you?”

The man managed to get Katherine up on her feet as he said “Jake.”

“Excuse me?” Katherine asked

“My name is Jake. What is your name?” As Jake saw Katherine face for the first time and her eyes mesmerized him taking his breath away.

“Katherine” She replied

“Ka- Kat- Katherine,” Jake said. “What a beautiful name you have just like you.”

Katherine blushed and moved her hair to the side as she smile and stretched her arm toward him to shake hands. “Thank you.” She sighed.

That night was the end to a beautiful beginning, for Jake and Katherine. As Alexander faded into a beautiful and painful memory in Katherine’s life over the years to come. Katherine stored all her memories of Alexander deep inside her heart as she moved on to redo her life with Jake.

Katherine shed a tear as she started to hear footsteps running toward her saying, “Mom, Mom……..”

She wiped her tear really quick turning to see Ryan with a smile. “Yes, dear what is it?” As Katherine stretched her arms to hug her son

Twenty years have passed after Katherine walked away from her love of her life without looking back this time. Twenty years when she was rescue from her sadness and was given a second chance in life to experience what true love meant and is.

‘Mom!” Ryan exclaimed

“What is it Ryan?” Do tell.”

“Charlotte is coming over.” He said

“Charlotte? Who is this Charlotte you speak of my son?” Katherine asked in confusion

Ryan smiled and said “She my girlfriend. I want you to meet her and give me your blessings.”

“Oh, my son.” Katherine said with such joy. “Of course I’ll give you my blessings when will Charlotte be coming?” Katherine asked

“Tonight mom, along with her parents” he explained

“Marvelous!” Katherine exclaimed I will ask Luke to get dinner ready promptly as Katherine kissed her son and walked away.

As dinner got closer Katherine grew anxious about everything and wonder why she was feeling this way out of nowhere.

“My love, we will be having visitors tonight.” She said

“Oh splendid, who are we having as guests tonight? Jake asked

“Ryan will be bringing his girlfriend and her parents over to introduce us to them.” Katherine said with a grim on her face.

“Very well my love, I shall start getting ready to meet our son’s girlfriend and her family.” Jake said.

Just few minutes before Charlotte’s arrival Luke was getting the final preparations for dinner ready as the table was getting set up.

Ryan franticly helped set up the table as Luke came down stairs to help Ryan. He noticed a plate was missing at the table. Before he could ask Ryan why a plate was missing the doorbell rang.

“Gasp!” As Ryan said, “They are here!” As he rushed to the door.

Jake started to walk to the door a long with Ryan asking Ryan, “Where is your mother son?”

Ryan replied “She is finishing getting ready dad. You know how mother is. She will join us shortly.”

Jake chuckled saying, “Ahh! Yes, your mother always lavish and beautiful.”

Ryan swung the door open for everyone to see, shocking everyone with a loud ruckus

“Dad, meet Charlotte and her Father……”

As Katherine started to come down the stairs she started to hear Ryan introducing His girlfriend and father to Jake. As she was reaching the final steps the name Alexander enter her ears. Shocking her by a surprise to hear that name that hunted her for the twenty years of her life. As flashbacks started to enter her mind Katherine stood still as if time froze. Katherine let out a sharp “Gasp,” as dropped her tea cup. Jake and everyone turned to see what had happened and they saw Katherine standing still with her eyes watery as if she saw a ghost. She kept telling herself that “Everything was ok” and that was not her Alexander of twenty years ago. Her love of her life. As Katherine was having a meltdown, Alexander stared in disbelief as he saw his love of his life of many years ago. He drops everything and rushes toward her wanting to believe the sight that was in front of him. As Alexander got closed to Katherine he saw it was his love of her life holding her hand and saying “It is really you, how I have missed you for so long. I never stopped loving or forgotten about you.” Katherine tried so hard to hold her tears as she took her hand away from Alexander and walked away to Charlotte to introduce herself with a smile on her face.

“Come Darling, let’s go to the dining room and have dinner. Come everyone Lets have dinner. How Pleased I am to meet Charlotte my son.” Katherine said.

Throughout the night Alexander would look for the perfect moment to get closer to Katherine to be able to talk to her. But Katherine would avoid any chance in her house with a despair in her heart. Deep inside of her that love she buried in her heart was rekindling once again like if she have fallen in love for the first time. But she knew it was impossible. She was in love with Jake who rescued her from her inner torment of when they both decided to end their love and she also have a wonderful son which she loves and adore so much.

But little did Katherine knew Alexander was standing behind of her while she was lost in her thoughts.

“Katherine, I am sorry for what I did to you years ago. I regret it every day of my life. I love you and will forever love you. Please forgive me my love? Let’s run away together and start the life we always dreamed of.”

Katherine angry to hear what Alexander was telling her after everything he put her through in the last twenty years. She was in disbelief of what she was hearing.

Katherine turned around saying “How dare you? I am a married woman as you are a married man with a beautiful daughter that is dating my son. How do you dare you to come to my house and expect me to leave my family for you? You have not change and no shame whatsoever. I asked for you to respect me throughout the night and for the remaining of the time our kids date. Our time has passed and we cannot change what it is now. My love for you has vanished because that is what you did to my love toward you. I cannot love you any more, maybe in another life time we will meet again and our stories will be different from this time and maybe get together and have a happily ending just how we dreamed it. But now it is our kid’s time to be happy. Maybe in another life time you would cherish me at all times.

Goodbye Alexander I wish you nothing but the best in life” As Katherine walked away from him just how she did years ago.