Loophole

    “What’s that?” Breeze asked, as she placed the circular sticker, an earth emblem with an arrow penetrating its center, above the breast pocket of his new uniform.

    “That is a Loophole.  It is my duty to inform you, that you are officially designated, a Loop,” her angelic voice announced.

    What could be said in response to something as profound as that? B.L. Breeze said nothing. He continued to look at his hands, having little else to do. He felt as if he were living in a dream but had no idea why. It all began several days earlier when he arrived at, what had been referred to as, the jumping off point. The point that was considered the apex of all the arrivals and departures from the European Quadrant, designated recently as officially, "The Dead Zone." 

    The headlines of the countries newspapers all asked a similar question: “Who Let the Air Out?”

    What was meant by dead, varied according to who you spoke with. The soldiers I interviewed said there was nothing resembling life in the entire area. They had done drone reconnaissance using infrared and audio detection devices, and determined nothing was verifiably alive. Every person, every form of life, had been officially declared, extinct.

    The government had set up a reception area at the Mount Jumbo Air Facility operated by the United States Air Force. Mount Jumbo was chosen for its inaccessibility by anything but air transports. It is, as relayed to me by former airmen, the worst place in the world to be stationed. It was situated at an eleven thousand foot elevation on a mountain in an undisclosed location.. The temperature in the winter dropped to forty below zero Fahrenheit routinely. The winds averaged fifty knots. Being sent there was considered officially, regardless of the climate, "The Air Corps hell."

When any possible problem, physical or psychological, was considered too dangerous to be allowed into the United States, it was sent to Mount Jumbo for evaluation before being introduced to the general population of the U.S. Air Force. If eventually proven innocuous, it would be allowed into the civilian population of the Americas.

    The Air Base had its own judicial system, electrical, water and sewage departments, and a direct line to the President of the United States. Those that were deployed to the Mount, were required to give up all contact with the outside world. No communication under any circumstances. If for any reason you were designated deceased during deployment, you were kept refrigerated until your discharge date, and then placed on the next ship destined for deep space, where you were required to spend eternity with the stars. It was an integral part of the non-disclosure agreement everyone was required to agree to if they had any hope of becoming a, Loop.

If you should be convicted of any infraction contrary to the laws and disciplines of the airmen you served with, you were placed on the airship, "To the Stars." Its destination was the prison planet Mars, or the most recent planet to solicit attention as a possible site for an outpost. The latest celestial possibility being, Angola. 

    Even though there was no indication life had ever visited Angola or was capable of existing on the planet in any form, it had been included as a possibility.  A recent probe photographed, what appeared to be a beach on the surface of what looked to be an extinct lake bed, despite the lack of verifiable water. Hopes remained high with the discovery of what appeared to be a beach ball, resting on the red sand surface.

Those in command of research and relocation, a new agency under the auspices of the Department of Emergency Management, has declared a new push after years of benign activity, to find suitable living space for those who no longer believe life will remain viable on earth after the year 2050. Some in the department claim this to be a slight exaggeration, while others are attempting to buy tickets to Angola, even though there is as yet a base or a plan for one, on any of the new newly explored planets, known to those in the know as the, Planets of the Stars.

        Hope for the Blue Planet has been all but exhausted by those in the upper echelons. Recent air quality samples were no longer being collected for examination. Oxygen levels considered necessary to make an adequate determination about the possibility of sustaining life were considered too depressing for civilian consumption. The most recent levels of oxygen had fallen to levels making it impossible to obtain verifiable data.

Colonel A, was in charge of monitoring air samples collected throughout the lower forty-eight. Colonel A, like Colonel B, C, D, had been given letter designations rather than using names.  It was a precaution against hacking; unrecognized server intrusion was said to be the reason. The belief that hackers were responsible for the disruption of a previous election, and the recent observations of the abnormally high rate of divorce caused by fraudulent twitter use, was claimed to justify the recent mandate.  The agency in charge of the Mounts security, had been elevated above that of the Food and Drug Administration, that was most recently investigating the detrimental effects of fast food on dyslectic airmen.

   Those in cyber security positions understood the move towards the renewed interest of enemies, in using fast food to gain admittance to secure installations, by inoculating calories with Nano devices capable of escaping through flatulent gas releases infecting all those within five hundred feet of the discharge. Colonel A, has verified the increased risk and has vowed that, "The full force of my department will be deployed to protect the air quality of the agency, and that of the United States of America."

    The European Quadrant was the focus of Colonel A’s attention, in that increased internet propaganda had stopped not only voting in Presidential elections, but had resulted in placing a moratorium on any political adds infecting the populace in any manner.  The use of advertising in general, was being looked at as having the potential for subliminal persuasion, an effect documented years earlier by playing a record album in reverse and recording the messages and subsequent incitement. The affects had become known as, The White Syndrome.

     A protest by weight loss supplement advocates in the Quadrant advocating for free speech, was quickly and quietly suppressed, as if it had never occurred. A state of emergency had been imposed for most of the country in an effort to deflect attention from the protest. It was widely publicized that there could be extreme flooding, should the rivers receive more rain than they are capable of absorbing in an acceptable time frame.  This latest emergency proclamation was irrelevant, as the country had just recorded the most named storms in a single year, and no one cared.

The latest edict proclaimed: Troops on loan from the Mount Jumbo actuarial facility have volunteered as monitors to verify that upcoming elections are, not only held in a timely fashion, but voters will have reasonable access to voting facilities in all of these United States, except for Georgia and North Carolina.  Observers have been sent to those two states to look into the concerns of voting rights advocates.

    The European Quadrant, being ground zero of air monitoring and boutique water, has been receiving much attention for its research on future exploration of indigenous histories of colonized planets, and their influence on the lifestyles of the recently arrived. There was now more emphasis being given to acclamation, rather than the building of a galactic shield to keep out those wishing to migrate to a colonized planet and disrupt its electoral integrity, as well as its cultural formalities.

    Colonel A and B had planned a visit to the Quadrant, but the agency in charge of passports was defunded to keep the countries of, have and have not's segregated, making it impossible to legally travel between countries. Treaties had been adopted by some countries, based on race, gender and perceived religious persuasions within the Christianic communities that would allow a dispensation from the laws if a need could be demonstrated and deemed acceptable by the newly formed agency, O.P. Oxygen Philosophies.  

    Oxygen had become the focus for countries developing defensive systems, to defend against the intrusion of rogue entities whose sole purpose was capturing and imprisoning hydrogen and oxygen molecules for the purpose of depleting or contaminating the source of breathable material, in the atmosphere of an enemy. Their intent to deplete or contaminate a breathable source, would have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

     It was in the confines of the European Quadrant that the first examples of successful offensive actions to deplete air supplies manifested itself. Dozens passed out in the subway destined for Hops Square. No one was able to deduce the cause until air populations were monitored to determine the insidious origins that caused so many of the residents of Hops to fall asleep on a subway train. The newspapers were engorged with accusations implicating the Union of Ventilation Operators, until classified results were leaked indicating the reason for what had happened.  It became known as the “SERTA Brief,” and is presently being subjected to the Freedom of Information mandates.

    Even though Colonel A was unable to attend the Air Symposium in the Quadrant,. He kept a close watch on the area as he had been tipped off to more disruptions planned by an underground, highly opinionated member of the watch dog group, “Air Lanes.” Their prominence soared after the Supreme Court decision in Airlines vs. Air Lanes, where the court decided that, sounding alike, and being alike, were covered under the Constitution’s Articles of Freedom from Interpretation and Speech. The consensus of those in Lanes, was that the recent problem on the subway was due to aggressionery overtures by the newly formed group, Airless.   Colonel A, immediately called Colonel B.  They decided to go to the Quadrant under the guise of United Nations Psychiatric Misinformation Agency, investigating, Dimensional Aggression. They were not allowed to enter the Quadrant; the reason they were not amongst the hundreds who had fallen asleep and never woke up.

   One country after another began to nod off, and not wake up. Colonel A had been working on a procedure that would take carbon dioxide and infuse it with deodorant extract. It had the potential to convert hydrogen into oxygen, which would elevate oxygen in the blood stream, preventing narcolepsy on a communal scale. The downside Colonel B implied, was that sleep apnea could occur while awake, giving people the feeling they were drowning on the air keeping them alive. Colonel A said they were working on a supplement that would alleviate the drowning sensation, by creating a sensation of euphoria, by elevating oxygen levels in the blood by increasing the strength of the deodorant by fivefold. "People will not only forget they can’t breathe; they won't be able to stop laughing about it," declared Colonel A.

  #

  Colonel D, never liked Colonel A or B.  In fact, he was jealous of their recent success with the Space Forces defensive measures in the Quadrant. He was convinced that the measures were inadequate in keeping up with the need. It would require an agency similar to the Manhattan Project that had developed the atomic bomb. They would need the best oxygen and deodorant experts in the world to work, not only on the defensive aspect of deoxygenation, but the offensive productivity necessary to allow life on Angola, as well as expand the Mars colonies capabilities to accept illegal immigrants. Colonel D, volunteered to lead the experiment. "It will give new meaning to the term, D Day," he proclaimed.

 #

   The wheels turn slowly as they so often do, when clogged by governmental ineptness.  Colonel A, B, and D, were all basing their climb up the star-studded ladder on the success of what had become known on Mount Jumbo, as Christ’s Cocktail. They were eventually, after the devastating loss of life in the European Quadrant, given status enhancements and the opportunity to be the first colonists of Angola. Being in the military, and having nothing but the greatest respect for tradition, they couldn’t refuse, and didn't.

    The sudden and expected departure of all life in the Quadrant sent ripples through the other Quadrants, which although used to being considered second best, and mistakenly rewarded for their patience, were disappointed. Being kept from knowing the exact nature of the exodus from adjoining areas, caused fear to spread like a virus. The borders of surrounding quarters were inundated by emigrants asking for asylum. The concern of having enough air to go around, kept the borders closed until the affected areas were able to determine the number of refugees that would be allowed in.  They were greatly concerned about the amount of air the newly sanctioned would consume.

 #

B.L. Breeze stood patiently in front of the guard shack. He was first in line on day 48 of the accelerated emigration policy put into place by the newly formed Emigration and Airigation Department. He was escorted into a room where he waited for several hours. He hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink in several days, from which he found no ill consequences, which surprised him, although he felt somehow thinner. He sat on the bench staring at his hands, which he realized had become a habit.

Colonel C, who had been relieved of duty on Jumbo, was placed in charge of the relocation efforts taking place in the Quadrant adjoining the Quadrant, that went extinct. He would interview Mr. Breeze to see if he had the capacity to help those in need. Breeze had been out of work since the air reduction policies went into affect.

    Mr. Breeze, let slip during the immigration interview, that he had worked for Fabrawind for over twenty years. He had been responsible for not only removing unwanted odors from the air, but encapsulating them. “Colonel C was impressed. He wanted to know where the encapsulated odors went. Breeze asked if it mattered, given the current state of affairs. 

“No”, replied the Colonel, “but the technology could be of use.” 

He and Breeze slipped out the side door to converse further about the possibilities of using the technology to encapsulate oxygen molecules that could be sold on the black market to Quadrants in need of air. They both had dreamed of relocating to Angola or even Mars if Angola was unavailable. 

Breeze and Colonel C. were discussing the plan to not only save the quadrants, but possibly the world, and make life on Angola and Mars more than speculation. Colonel C, took from his shirt pocket a pack of cigarettes, he tapped the end of the pack on the palm of his hand, pulled the cellophane strip from the top, peeled back the aluminum paper, and shook the pack exposing two perfectly aligned cigarettes. He held the pack out to Breeze. Although Breeze didn’t smoke, he took one to commemorate their new venture. He placed it in his mouth as Colonel C took the remaining cigarette and put it between his lips. The Colonel reached into his pants pocket and pulled a lighter with the emblem of Mount Jumbo engraved on the side. The emblem was of a world wrapped in a slice of bacon. Few understood the sarcastic nature of his humor. 

He lit Breeze’s cigarette, then his own. They each inhaled the smoke deeply into their lungs, which was against the law, but they no longer cared. They were going to save the world and become wealthy doing it.

#

    The explosion could be seen, not only from Mount Jumbo, but from the spaceship on the way to Angola. Both Colonels A and B commented on how beautiful explosions were when they were not involved. 

    The reduction in oxygen levels and the increase in hydrogen levels, made the environment not only a difficult place to breathe, but extremely flammable. News reached Angola about the explosion and the subsequent extinction of another quadrant, at the same eerily coincidental time the ship carrying Colonel A and B crashed into the Congressionally approved expansion of Mount Jumbo, Mount Baldy.

A and B would have agreed that the possibility of using Fabrawind to solve earths oxygen problem, would not have worked in time, as the urge to smoke was more powerful than the urge to live. Hopes for life on Angola soared, as there was no longer an alternative to remaining coincidental.