Harmonic Nebula

Harmonic Nebula

    The cool blue blanket full of endless mysteries cocooned his body in such a way that made him feel vulnerable yet shielded from whatever it was that was outside of the water. There were only a few seconds left before he had to resurface for that irksome life source that every human needs; oxygen. He often fantasized how much more tranquil his life would be if he was able to spend more time submerged in this film-like space that made him feel so serene. He never bothered with scuba gear or any other conventional method of snorkeling, finding it to be inhibiting the harmonious territory of so many creatures. After coming up to the surface, he made his way to his towel and flip flops were laying, deciding to take a few moments of rest before submerging himself again. He spent as much time as he could swimming, even when the weather did not call for it, finding it difficult to stay away from it for too long, like it was calling him.

As a child he hated the water, always felt nervous and irritable when he swam in the ocean. During family vacations he would restrict himself to sitting under the umbrella building any creation that came to his mind out of sand, and when he outgrew that habit, he would bring books to keep his mind occupied. It wasn’t until he was frolicking near the shore one blazing July afternoon on account of having read all of his books, at least the interesting ones, and was so bored that he decided to wade in the ocean for as long as he needed to make the most of his time, with the water reaching just up to his shins when he saw the flexible ash blob maneuvering around him, its sylphlike tail remaining rigid as the rest of its body was flapping like a bird. The stingray did not bring him the fright and vigilance that it should have given the fact that it had the capability to fatally harm him. He remained static in the water, admiring the supple flesh ceaselessly making wave-like movements as it leisurely made wide laps around him with no particular form or coordination. The fish would sporadically yield in front of the boy, seemingly scrutinizing him as if it were trying to calculate his next move, contemplating its fight or flight response. The boy however continued to remain motionless, unsure if he was doing so out of fright of provoking the creature or out of his amazement in seeing something so perilous yet poised and graceful. After what felt to be five minutes or half an hour, he could not tell, the stingray ultimately decided there was nothing of interest for it near the shore, and the mysterious tall being with two flesh-covered poles was neither a threat nor a refuge, and it floated away to the deeper end, and the boy remained in the shallow end until he lost sight of the creature. He heard his mother calling him to come eat, and so he followed her voice without looking back towards the shore. 

The following three year’s summer vacation took place in the Pacific NorthWest where his family stayed in a cabin for eleven days. There were more mountains and mossy terrain than he was used to seeing from their trips to more tropical locations, so swimming was not any of the family’s main activity for that particular trip. The day after they had arrived at their cabin after a grueling thirteen hour drive from Sacramento his parents suggested taking a kayaking tour that was being held near a local park by the sea in hopes of coming across some humpbacks. His disdain and reluctance for this activity of course went ignored by his parents, and within an hour he was being strapped into a life jacket by a balding middle-aged lifeguard who was explaining to him in the most monotonous and wearisome voice what steps he must take should he find himself thrown out of the kayak or by some means dragged to the depths of the mysterious void by some vile creature who will hold him captive until the rest of its clan could feast on him. With a half-hearted pat on the shoulder the lifeguard left him to it, and so he tentatively made his way to the shore and lowered himself into the kayak by such means so as to get as little water on him as possible, which he failed doing miserably. After a few embarrassing minutes of trying to settle in, he managed to find a semi-comfortable position given that he had to bend his knees in view of the fact that he had had a growth spurt over the last couple years, and now had a more spindly form. Following the two leaders of the tour, they set out into the sea.

The day was not looking very promising due to its gloomy weather, yet another factor he was not accustomed to, so consequently the first twenty minutes of leisure paddling were uneventful. The most compelling sight they had witnessed up to that point was a heron catching a mackerel in such a swift and effortless motion he wondered if it really had happened at all. Evidently the group had reached a point far enough from the shore so that all he could make out was a hazy strip with the mountains in the distance that now appeared as if they were small knolls, such as the ones he would see when he took the scenic route to school back home. He couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, he had felt the intensity of such silence. The hum of the wind was the only thing reminding him of the fact that he was indeed still out at sea, thinking that he must be hundreds of feet above the surface (for the mere thought of being thousands above put a knot in his stomach so severe he believed he would have fainted had he not willed the thought out of his head). The leader of the group abruptly shot their hand up as if to guide the flow of traffic. Correspondingly, everybody brought their floating devices to a halt, keenly waiting for whatever it is was supposed to happen. As if the entirety of the ocean sensed the energy at that moment, it also slowed its thrashing of the waves, appearing to listen. They remained at a standstill, no one daring to even sneeze. He glanced at his surroundings, trying to make as little sound as possible, anticipating the once in a lifetime moment of awe and wonder that the locals here seemed to be so fond of. The silence continued, and the longer it lasted, the more fretful the group seemed to grow, the suspense wearing off by the minute. An older couple that was sharing a kayak had started murmuring amongst themselves, no longer fearing scaring off the whales as they had earlier. Subsequently, some others of the group started conversing amongst themselves, and within seconds the ocean went back to its consistent sloshing, the wind picking up its pace and becoming more aggressive. At this point, most of his clothes were soaked and he was growing increasingly cranky and nervous for being so far away from land, and given that they had yet to witness the one thing they came out here for, he was eager for this afternoon to be over. The group continued paddling further out, the leader announcing that in a few minutes they were going to head back. Relieved upon hearing such words, he suddenly gained a surge of vigor which almost made him feel like jumping into the sea and swimming back to shore. As the group started paddling their way in a wide circle to return in the same direction they came from, a quake hefty enough to discombobulate the steady pace of the kayakers erupted from the ocean, and with tremendous force the thirty ton mammal rigidly yet gracefully collapsed back into the water, thoroughly drenching anyone within a thirty foot radius. Pleasurable gasps and hollers came from all around, half the group too busy fumbling with their jacket pockets to grab their cameras to notice the junior calf not too far behind, attempting to mimic its mother, but could not quite achieve the colossal tremble she had made. The humpback and its calf resurfaced several times, as if they knew to put on a show for their anticipating audience. He could not take his eyes off of the suicidally beautiful animal, deciding at that moment that something that could impose both terror and amazement in someone was nothing less than miraculous. It moved with such harmony and ease as if it were the weight of a feather. He watched for the final time as the gentle giant and its calf dived back into the ocean for the final time, no longer feeling anxious or rushed.

The following years’ vacations grew more scarce, with his parents’ workload and his schoolwork taking priority, they would limit themselves to a brief weekend visit at the local carnival or theme park. Feeling particularly overwhelmed one evening due to an upcoming deadline for his history essay, he decided a break was called for, and so he stepped out onto the back patio that the family hardly used anymore. The night was humid and his skin stuck to the plastic chair; trying to ignore the unpleasant sensation, he propped his feet on the round table where he used to eat his melted ice cream with his cousins during the summer family visits as a child. Tilting his head back, he blinked his eyes a couple times to adjust to the lack of light and studied the stars that were scattered across the sky, as if someone had knocked over the jar they were being kept in. But he knew each of them were placed there with purpose; what that purpose was he had no idea. The study of the cosmos was always too complex for him, deciding to instead admire them from time to time whenever he reminded himself to appreciate the smaller things in life. He eyed the brightest star he could find in the sky, pondering whether it was Mars or Venus, or just a star that happened to shine brighter than the rest. He started forming shapes in his head with the help of the stars, amusing himself with the scenarios he was fabricating. As a result, the stars appeared to be taking the form of a humpback whale, having the image subconsciously planted in his mind. He watched as the behemoth curved its back and he swore in that moment he could hear the callings coming from it, letting him know that he was in that moment, completely and invariably in a harmonious state, never wanting to let this feeling go.