Everything?

“It’s been twenty years now Nan. What do you expect to find there?”

“Everything! I’ll find everything there Babs.”

“Everything? I think you’re being a little delusional, or just pathetic. What connection do you have to that place? Even our names are Western. What could you possibly be looking for in the past Nan?”

“Babs…you wouldn’t understand. You have Larry and the girls.”

Babs laughed aloud. They were arguing in the small bedroom of the apartment Nan rented with her husband and children. Bab’s laughter echoed on the walls and strummed in Nan’s ears.

“You are really delusional. You have Trell and four little Trellites. You guys have been married for nearly two decades now. Let me see…hmm, if I remember correctly he was your superman…or something to that silly notion.” Babs laughed again.

“Yeah…” Nan said a little exasperated. “We’ve been married for a long time but…I don’t really have him Babs. And as for the kids…yes, they are a part of my life but what about me Babs. When am I going to be Happy?”

Babs stopped laughing for a moment but the smirk was still on her face. She looked at her sister intently.

It was April, the time of year that Nan and Babs planned their family vacation. The sisters always set aside this time to escape from the world with their loved ones. They weren’t the closest of siblings but they agreed to make a committed effort…at least once a year.

Babs finally broke the silence.

“So you think going back to Nigeria holds some magic potion for you huh.” Babs wasn’t being sarcastic but Nan didn’t think she had a change of heart either.

“It’s the only place I remember being happy. I wish we had never come here Babs. Why didn’t mom just send me back?” Nan lay back on the creaking twin sized bed and looked up at the ceiling. Her eyes glazed over a little.

“If you start tearing up in here…I’ll slap you back into reality-HARD, so help me God!”

Babs towered over her sister in the bed and waved an open palm. Babs was never the sentimental type.

“There are things you obviously don’t remember Nan. You’re 45 years old now. There was a reason we left and I for one am glad I did. You can’t just bring back the past-No matter how nostalgic you feel”

Nan pitched up from the bed and came to stand in front of her sister. Something had gotten into her and Babs could see it in her eyes. Babs took a step back.

“What is it I don’t remember? The warmth of family, the housekeeper who prepared all those full hearty meals, the farmlands we roamed and the humped camels? What about aunt Lara, Uncle Moke and the parties and road trips? For God’s sake our mother is Nigerian; half of our ancestry is Nigerian. Aren’t you at all concerned to reconnect?”

“Nan you’re being hysterical. Calm down. I…I didn’t know you were so choked up about the past. How could you compare your life now to then?”

Nan’s chest was heaving. You’re the Supreme Court Judge; I guess that means you know everything right?

 Babs reached out to touch her sister on the shoulder but instead let her hand drop back to her side.

Nan sighed and hung her head down.

“Nan, I just think this is all a bit Juvenile. You…”

“Juvenile? What the…? Who do you think you are? Yeah, you’ve got a great husband and two wonderful daughters but this is my life. It didn’t turn out that way for me and you know what? Maybe... maybe I did get stuck there and some version of me came here.”

Babs mouth fell open. Nan was always so reserved.

“I want to be…No, I need to be reunited with myself. So help me God, I will. With or without…”

“Enough!”

Babs raised her hand in her sister’s face with much indignation.

“That’s enough.”

She grabbed her sweater and her hand bag and headed out the bedroom door.

Nan was still in shock. She didn’t follow her sister. She just gazed at the floor. She heard the door open forcefully…and then nothing.

Babs stood in the doorway. She paused so suddenly at first not really knowing why.

Then she said it.

“It will all be on you. Make the arrangements, flight plans, connections...all that stuff. We’ll go to your wonderland then. Let’s see what we find.”

Without waiting for an answer, she shut the door and left.

****

“Sanu and welcome!”

Babs, Nan and everyone else looked at the stranger. He was a slim built man of middle age with short dark hair. His faded kinte shirt hung over a dusty pair of jeans and he wore open toed slippers.

“Aha…I am the stranger yes? My name is Yusuf. Uncle Moke is unable to come just now. Some business has arisen. Please, he has sent me to escort you to the house now.”

Yusuf beckoned for us to come and at once started retrieving the luggage.

Babs looked questioningly at Nan. Nan shrugged and followed eagerly behind Yusuf. The family followed.

Yusuf helped them to adjust in the old Nissan mini bus. Trell and Larry squeezed up front while Babs, Nan and the children squeezed in back.

“You have travelled so far. How is America? I wish I can go someday.” Yusuf did his best with small talk.

“To America? Nan asked. “ Why? You are living in the land of milk and honey already.”

Yusuf shifted in his driver seat. “Even milk and honey can be ransomed.” He said quietly.

“We actually live in the Caribbean.” Babs said.

“Is it plenty opportunity and land of free also?” Yusuf asked inquisitively.

“Plenty opportunity?” Nan laughed.

“Opportunity is everywhere. It will find you if you are looking for it.” Nan said.

The old minibus swerved off the main road and onto a dusty red dirt path.

Barbs and Larry wound up the automatic windows of the bus as the dust swirled up.

“Aha, it is here!” Yusuf said as he turned into a driveway.

“It looks so different.” Nan said. She was the first to jump out. Dirt was still swirling around. They all piled out and looked around.

One by one, a few persons started to peek out from the side and back of what seemed to be the main house in a compound of houses. They approached.

Soon the two clans were facing each other. There was a brief silence.

“I…I don’t really remember anyone. Hi, I’m Nan. We’re aunt Feyi’s children.” Nan said.

“I doubt they would remember us.”  Babs whispered to Nan.

“Hello, you are welcome. We have been awaiting you.” An old but stern looking woman answered. She seemed to be the mother figure. “I am your aunt Grace. You are welcome.” She walked up to Nan and hugged her while patting gently on her back.

“I am Bodure. You are welcome.”

“Me, I am Soukonde. Welcome.”

Soon Introductions were going all around. The silence was broken.

Dinner was big but not lavish. Trell and Larry laughed with the men and drank native beers. Nan and Babs spoke with aunt Grace and the women listening to stories of their mother growing up and conjuring up tidbits of their own memories.

“Is uncle Moke still out on business? I can’t wait to meet him again.” Nan asked.

“Uncle Moke will be out even until tomorrow. The business… it is not easy now.” Aunt Grace said lowering her head slightly.

“I remember all the farms and farm animals. It must be a lot of work managing it all.” Nan said beaming with her past thoughts.

“Managing? Aha…it has not been like that for a while now.” Aunt Grace said.

The chattering amongst the dinner attendants seemed to have simmered down a lot now.

“What do you mean?” Babs asked.

“The farms…we have not owned any for a long time now. Moke, he finds work here and there collecting rent for business men. He can get a small compensation.”

“What? You mean the animals…no more? There must be some good investments still in the family? Nan asked almost desperately.

Babs pinched her sister under the low dinner table. Nan tried to reign herself in.

“Perhaps things have…changed from what we remember. We understand things change…don’t we Nan?” Babs placed a hand on Nan’s leg under the table.

Before Nan could respond someone else did.

“That is why we are so excited that you have contacted us. Aunty has left us a long time now but you can fill in her place too.” It was Soukonde. He was Nan and Bab’s youngest uncle.

“We are very happy to meet you all. We really thank you for this wonderful meal and reception. Perhaps we should be heading to our hotel now.” Babs said as she stood and beckoned Larry to do so as well.

“Hotel?” Nan asked surprised. “But we’re supposed to…”

“Will you not stay? We have already cleaned a room for you and filled the jerry cans with water.” Soukonde said

“A room…one room for all of us? Nan asked a little uncertain.

“To impose on you more than we have, we cannot…we should not.” Babs added before Nan’s stupefied look could be recognized by the others.

“But we want to talk with you about University cousin Nan and how we can come to you also.” Bodure was now asking along with Soukonde.

Nan was flabbergasted…and also embarrassed. How could she describe her predicament to them?

“What about work? Are the jobs not good here? Why are you thinking of leaving?” Nan asked the two young people.

“Aunty, there are so many that are competing here, even one million compete for one job. The propaganda to operate a business can be very hard on one. Even if there is opportunity, here it is only a select few that can get it if you know the right persons.” Soukonde had taken on an almost prayerful stance.

Babs pulled Nan up to stand beside her because she was still sitting at the table taking it all in.

“Indeed. Perhaps we can return another evening to sit and discuss with you. There are some scholarship opportunities at the universities I am affiliated with back home.” Babs said. “When we come again, we should talk.”

Nan quietly ushered the children back to the bus. She was a little dazed. Babs pulled her aside as everyone piled into the bus.

Nan pulled Babs aside. “Babs, what happened? Why did we leave here? Wasn’t it good here?”

Babs paused, then took Nan in her arms.

“Nan, it was great here for us…thirty two years ago. When the Buhiste militant group suddenly took over, it was in our parents’ best interest to leave- and they did. We moved to a place that gave us the amazing opportunity to live and thrive. Our whole lives have been a tremendous blessing. Nigeria is the home of our mother and half our ancestry, we should never forget that. What’s most important is to embrace that we live in the here and now; the sooner you come to that conclusion, you will begin living an amazing life Nan.” Babs released Nan and hopped onto the minibus.

Nan stood for a moment longer. She looked back at the dusty but tidy yard. The family was still waving goodbye. Soukonde and Bodure stood both with hands clasped and faces beaming. It was suddenly dawning on her. What she had been looking for all along was already within her. She was too young to witness the despair that her parents and other family members had; she only remembered the hope. But hope in the past in futile if it has no impact on the present.

Nan raised both hands and waved back at her family members. She smiled to herself and squeezed in the bus beside Babs and the children.

The End