First Snow

First Snow

By Paromita De

Pamela stared out the window and saw the first trickle of flurries falling slowly towards the ground. “SNOW” she cried! It was her first winter in Boston. She was going to college at BU, and she was studying with her friend Matt that night.

“There is going to be a lot more than that” said Matt sarcastically. “You California peeps are so spoiled ha”

For Pamela, there was an excitement in the air. She was feeling the cozy, warm holiday spirit. Matt handed her some hot coffee as they studied for their Chemistry test together.

“Your apartment looks so bland,” said Pamela. “It needs some holiday cheer”. Pamela felt excited about bringing a real tree over from the tree farm with Matt and decorating it with ornaments. His apartment was always so bare. He did not even have any pictures around of any family or friends. Her apartment on contrast was brimming with lights, and a huge. bright pink artificial Christmas tree with loads of ornaments on it.

Matt and Pamela were friends for about a month. They both bonded over their previously failed midterm exam, but somehow found studying together helped them focus. And, they also were huge foodies, so that was a plus too.

“Let’s take a break from studying and order some pizza”, Matt said.

“Thirty more minutes and then a break,” said Pamela. She was determined to get to Pharmacy school, and move back to California to be next to her family and best friends. It was a bit lonely being so far away from everyone, but she was really grateful that she had Matt.

Pamela lounged on the couch lazily after their study session while Matt called in the pizza order. Her long brown hair was tied up in a large messy bun, and she wore an oversized white sweatshirt with BU written on it. She was wearing oversized jeans, and fuzzy slippers. She flipped on the switch to the TV, and “The Holiday” was playing; her all-time favorite romantic movie. Matt plopped himself next to her and grazed his knee against hers as if by accident. Pamela was a little taken aback, but swore it must have been her mind playing tricks on her.

Matt moved a piece of loose hair on her forehead to the side of her ear, and slowly leaned over towards her. Pamela could smell his cologne, and felt his warm breath on her cheek. She started to close her eyes as she felt Matt move in closer to kiss her but then she froze and pushed him away. She got scared. She never had a boyfriend, and Matt was her only friend in Boston. Thoughts raced through her mind and she feared that if she and Matt got involved, that she would ultimately lose him.

Matt was a gentleman. He understood and moved back. “I am sorry.” he said softly. “I thought that we were getting really close, and I guess I misunderstood”.

Pamela did not have the courage to tell Matt that she had feelings for him as well. She softly responded,

“I am sorry too. Maybe it is better that I go home.”

Matt understood, and since it was late, he walked her to the subway station to make sure she got home safe. She hugged him goodbye, and asked softly, “can we still be friends?”

Matt grinned, and said “Of course”

“Can we still go buy a Christmas tree tomorrow for your apartment”, Pamela asked hesitantly.

“Yeah” Matt said nonchalantly.

That night Pamela could not sleep. She kept thinking about Matt. She knew in her heart that she was falling hard for him. She wondered what would happen if they had that kiss. She was so scared to lose Matt, but she wondered if she was already pushing him away.

The next morning, Pamela woke up tired, but she went to Pilates, took a shower, and put on some make up because she was going to see Matt at the Christmas tree farm. She put on extra lipstick and mascara that day, and wore a cute burnt orange colored sweater dress with boots. She obviously could not deny that she cared about her appearance in front of Matt, and those oversized sweatshirts would not work at all today.

Pamela felt confused. She wanted Matt to want her, and she wanted to be with him, but she also was afraid to get too close. She grabbed her purse, and took a taxi to the Christmas tree farm where she saw Matt wearing a coat and a beanie, and she did not know why, but he looked different. Good different. She knew at that point that she and Matt were going to have to be more than friends because she could not stop her feelings for him from overflowing,

She walked over to Matt. He was a little distant and did not give his normal hug, but he did say hi.

They picked out a huge Christmas tree for Matt’s apartment and lugged it over to his truck. After they got to Matt’s place, they both gasped from carrying the tree over to his place. It was heavy. Pamela was about to put ornaments on the tree, but almost tripped over one of the decorations. Matt was quick to catch her. They gazed at each other and their eyes met. Pamela could see that Matt was distant. He was hurt by her yesterday. She did what she was afraid to do. She held his face and leaned in, and slowly kissed Matt. He kissed her back. They held their kiss and each other, and Pamela finally let go of her fears. She knew that things would change with Matt, but she was ready to embrace whatever came. Matt blushed, and looked confused.

“But I Thought.” He slowly started.

“I lied” Pamela admitted. “I was scared to admit that I have feelings for you because I don’t want to lose our friendship” she said softly.

Before she could say anything else, Matt grabbed her and kissed her like nobody ever had before. Pamela sunk into Matt’s arms and surrendered herself to him. She was in love for the first time and her first snow was the most memorable and surreal experience that she ever had.