Bed of Lies

Everyone dreads that call from a hospital where a loved one is staying not knowing if it’s good or bad news. That call from the army informing you that the child you raised passed. It’s a loss no one wants to hear but what if that loss is something that had to happen in order for life to happen anew. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. What if you were the one who had to die? The phrase no pain no gain comes to mind but how much pain can anyone take in order to gain if not give up because we are human.

She’d given up on ever hearing from him ever again. Closed all doors and ports of entry socially. Never met in the flesh, they were online lovers. She heard the criticism loud and clear when she professed love for him on facebook . Everyone knows the stigma associated with online relationships but she was truly head over heels in love. So much so  she didn’t care if he took another year to get to her. She lived in Zimbabwe Africa and he lived in America Tennessee.

They met in the most awkward circumstances, this was no love at first sight but love at first hate. He’d joined Rachael’s group chat and threw everybody out of it including her. Back then they called it ‘’rakking a GC’’. Fuming mad she vowed to run him over with a monster truck the day she saw him... as if she knew she would. The feistiness in her turned him on and he fell in love, her friend got him to apologise but she was nowhere nearly convinced that such a rude man could be capable of anything other than rudeness. That’s when he came to her inbox, worked his charm. Before she knew it intense hatred turned into intense love. This man literally came into her life and turned everything upside down like the shake of a snow globe. That was back in 2017,  she thought it was just flirting, that she would get over the initial high but the more she denied it the more it shone through her. She was in love, so was he things got serious fast, he proposed  in 2018.

Love was just in the air for them, they put cotton in their ears to whatever the critics said. In early 2019 around January and February that’s when he asked her if she had a visa, he wanted to bring her over so they could start out their lives together but in her culture that was just not permissible. Certain customs  had to be followed in order for her to settle with a man, besides culture being a factor she was also a Christian. Her beliefs wouldn’t let her inhabit a house with a man unmarried for all intents and purposes. He had to meet her parents, have a traditional wedding leave, and have a white wedding later.

He told her he would respect her culture and all its formalities. She was thrilled, this is  the man she had envisioned having babies for and walking down the aisle to marry. Nothing would’ve  prepared her for 2020, the year where everything fell apart including the whole world which was engulfed in corona virus. The first half of this year was okay, everything was going smoothly romantically. She’d envisioned he would  get things moving shortly after covid ended or if they found a vaccine. She was in this for the long haul. Even if it ended in 3066 she would still be waiting for him but guess he lost all hope of that ever happening. In the last half of the year he started getting distant, giving stupid excuses as if he was talking to a 2 year old insulting her intelligence.

She knew something was up... a woman’s intuition, seldom never wrong; we always have that sixth sense. All we need is evidence to bring the cat out of the bag and send the guilty away. And the guilty was RJ. Seemed she was the only one in the relationship trying to make it work, it was only after  she’d had a long talk with a friend of hers that certain secrets were revealed about him. Something no girl wants to hear. And as much as she loved him those very words bring her to tears each time she repeats them in her own head or when she sees that screenshot. For someone who meant so much to her   he said she was just ‘’a girl I talk with online’’. Devasted, what she would go on to hear just glided over her as this was a bullet to the heart.

She had a lot of questions, how why? He was dating a woman twice his age and had been lying to her for 3 months. She finally understood why he was pushing her away, trying to convince her to get into a physical relationship. Trying to find out if she had any interest in anyone locally. He was trying to let her down easy through this. She even wondered if the part about him having his passport taken by the state was true or just a lie to  kill whatever hope she had of him ever coming because all of a sudden things would never work out even if they met.

How she wished these were the words he would’ve said when they first dated. Even then she asked questions pertaining to this in terms of sex. She was always worried whether he could stay faithful  but he put these worries to rest. Or maybe he just didn’t believe in their love enough to believe that there was a girl miles away patiently waiting for him but that’s just how much she loved him. So much that she accepted his past and present. He was truly her everything and was willing to take the good and the bad.

But she had to let him go, all of him, and according to the pictures he was posting, moved on. She tried to find happiness in their friendship which only seemed to prick her when he was drunk and said things he shouldn’t . They would always find themselves flirting and she had to put a lid on this before she became the other woman. She put a distance between them because it often felt like he was feeding off of her, yes they always enjoyed the intellectual conversations but this took a toll on her.

RJ tried messaging her as always after a week or two as if to check if she was still there, waiting in the shadows. That’s when he find out she was gone without a trace, none of her friends knew where. He was left with nothing but an address to which he vowed to find her someday. Could it have  been true about him not having a passport? Years later he moved to Zimbabwe desperately trying to find her. Settled in the little town of Mutare hoping to find her and reconcile whatever they’d back then. Hopefully she wouldn’t be married but what he would soon find out would bring him to his knees.

As someone who was new in town it took him days to find her address. When he finally did he started thinking about what he would even say to break the ice after so long. There were so many things to explain, that’s when he picked up the phone to call her, maybe start things off that way. Back then she’d  obviously blocked his original number but now he had a new one. Anxiously he waited for her to pick up the call and she did, he heard her sweet voice, he froze,   said ‘’It’s me’’ hoping that she would recognise him but she just hung up after a few seconds of silence. He took it as  a shock to him calling after so long.

The next day he mustered the courage to meet her at her home. That is if she was still there. He drove up slowly  and noticed she was the one weeding the garden. He hooted,  she lifted her head. That’s when she called out to someone and a teenage boy came he realised he had to get out of the car.

‘’Hello’’ he said , is this perhaps where Rachael stays’’

‘’Yes, who are you? he asked,

‘’A friend, I’ve come to see her.’’

The boy looked back at his sister and then at him.

‘’She’s never talked about a friend  in a long while, wait here.’’

The boy didn’t bother asking his name when he went and told his parents. Rachael  kept looking up with curiosity that made RJ uncomfortable,’’

‘’Isn’t she going to come up out of there’’ he asked himself.

Her parents came, asked him who he was, got the shock of their life. It was the man who  broke their little girl’s heart and ruined her life. They were not going to let him in, not on his life. There was commotion, he had to leave, they were going to call the police. He couldn’t understand why Rachael never reacted the whole time he was there except when it seemed a fight was going to occur. At best he expected a confrontation from her where he would explain himself once more hoping to reconcile.

Rachael later enquired about the strange man  and the family made some excuse, she forgot about it the next day. It’s like she had forgotten all the pain and heartache, the burning desire she had to meet RJ one day and either run him over or kiss him passionately. RJ on the other hand was not going to back down. He secretly moved across the street  convinced he wouldn’t be there long until he got a chance to talk to Rachael . She never got out that much just like she said she didn’t when they were dating  but one fateful day, she did accompanied by her sister. They were on their way to the grocer when he followed. It was when Rachael was left alone unattended in the home appliances aisle that he thought to take the chance and meet her. Not knowing what to do, he came from behind her and closed her eyes. She felt the soft hands on her face and instantly knew that these were not her sisters for they had never touched a broom in their life, they were just too soft. People  just looked on. That’s when she turned around saw this handsome young man and frowned,

 ‘’Why did you do that?’’

 He hugged her, ‘’Missed you so much, I was so lost without you’’

 Little did he know that she was just as lost, if not forever.

He wanted to kiss her, but realised he was in public and kept a distance and asked her how she’d been, he must have said one thousand words per minute with the last words being ‘’And I came here to take and marry you’’ That’s when she smiled to his relief thinking everything would be okay, a happily ever after when she said.

‘’Mr that’s nice but who are you?’’

‘’It’s me RJ, don’t you remember?’’

 That’s when her sister came and dragged her away to the till while giving the man a sly look. He stood there and went over to the till trying to speak with her when her sister again shielded her and told the guard that he was a crazy stalker. ‘’Crazy stalker’’, well this would mean her sister knew who he was, but why had Rachael forgotten?

Rachael had a lot of questions on the way home when her sister reported the matter to her parents who became furious. They told Rachael not to worry about ‘’that man’’, they weren’t too worried about what to say as she would easily forget and the next day  would be like nothing happened when they heard a hoot at the gate. It was the same car and same man. RJ was not going to wait for another opportunity it was now or never even if it meant going to jail for trespassing on private property. That's when Rachael’s father came out guns blazing with an axe.

‘’Don’t you understand when you are not wanted?’’

‘’I just need to talk to Rachael’’

‘’You can’t’’

‘’What do you mean she’s a grown woman she doesn’t have to be escorted everywhere she can think for herself’’

‘’She can’t remember you!’’

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’You made her this way, I won’t risk losing my daughter and have her lose whatever life she has left to live ’’

‘’What do you mean?’’

 ‘’She will never be normal cause of you, never.’’

 Her father broke down, put the axe down. RJ ran into the house and saw her sitting by the sofa.

‘’Rachael, Rachael please look at me and tell me you don’t remember me? I know I hurt you but please stop this act.’’

Her father came in from behind him and said,

‘’She probably wished she could, but she doesn’t, and that is the truth’’

 Her sister came in , took her out of the room.

‘’She is sick, when she broke up with you she was devastated ,she broke down in the worst way  possible. She really loved you and was waiting,  I remember how much your messages would make her smile until one day they made her cry.’’

‘’Did she try to kill herself?’’

‘’No, probably not, she just wanted to forget. Started drinking way too much for someone who was never an alcoholic. Took it too far, almost died, went into a coma for 3 months. When she woke up she remembered nobody, nothing of her past, we had to start over. We didn’t know that the loss of memory was  severe that she forgets everyday what she did the previous day. The doctors said she would never have a normal life. They cautioned us not to force her to remember. It could lead to rapture in her brain causing death. All because of you, I watched her die every day in that coma trying to forget you. When she woke up she was another person. So the Rachael you came here to see is not here, never will be, best you leave’’

RJ could not believe what he  heard but had made up his mind. ‘I still want her, still love her’, still want her to be my wife ’’

‘’What kind of life do you hope to have with her in this state? What if she wakes up and forgets you’re her husband, or forgets  she has kids? What then? What if you try to force her to remember her past which she clearly wants to forget and dies?’’

‘’I accept full responsibility for what I did. No amount of explanation will convince you and I will not do that  I accept what happened to be my fault but I still want to marry her, I will take her as she is  please.’’

‘’I don’t see it ever happening , how will you even enter her life? I don’t want to lie to my daughter, she always hated lies, it’s what destroyed her.’’

‘’But you lied to her about me since  I got here telling her I was a stranger...’’

‘’There’s more truth in that lie than there ever was in you,  she herself told us she couldn’t recognise you anymore.’’

 *Silence* ‘’I will start again, gain her trust’’

‘’You’ll have to gain her trust every day before I’m certain you can take her away my boy’’

Reluctantly her father gave in to the idea of him courting Rachael again as though they were meeting for the first time. He didn’t want to but wanted her daughter to have a shot at love and a shot at having her own family though it would be like living another life for her each day all because she wanted to forget one man.

RJ permanently moved in across the street where he could see Rachael more often so she could get used to him. He was happy but sad that he couldn’t get her memory back which was probably for the best as he wondered if she would ever accept him back if she did get it, selfishly this worked out quite well for him. It was better if she didn’t remember  at all.

Though she was forgetful she didn’t completely forget everything that would have happened the previous day, so she knew  she now had a boyfriend  and that pretty soon they were going to get married. The family was happy until the day of the wedding night. She was so happy and started feeling scared at the same time. This wasn’t pre wedding jitters, this ‘’happy’’ was a happiness associated with a fear at the end. This made her not want to come out of the room when it was time to walk down the aisle to the man she loved.

The guests were anxious, RJ nervous, he’d come so far, but was also concerned as to why there was delay. The wedding band  played 3 times and had to stop , there was a hiccup. Until finally she came out walking to him crying profusely. The smile RJ had turned into concern when she finally came in front of him and looked into her eyes. These were not tears of joy anymore. It’s as though there was a silent movie going on in her head to which she was watching and recalling everything. The priest began speaking, she fainted and died right on the spot in RJ’s arms.

 Happiness made her recall an earlier time she had felt so after a long time and then came pain. RJ just cried out.      So close yet so far he would never again see Rachael and this time she was really dead, for a second time.