Shoe Gazing

Thomas was a proud strong man. He had lived a proud strong life. Now he sat on his bed wondering where his left shoe was? It had been there when he went to bed he was quite sure, at least he thought, he was quite sure he had been wearing shoes yesterday. Thomas was in his mid 80’s, his mind was beginning to wonder off. Sometimes it didn’t come back for days, and then only to check in to see if body was doing OK. Mind wanted to be young and carefree again, not trapped in old and ageing body. So mind went off into its memories of being a boy or a young man. This confused body as Thomas started thinking his wife was his mam, or He had to get up and go down the pits, even though he had retired 30 years ago. It was a confusing time for Thomas, mind and body as they all seemed to be at war with each other. Thomas knew he needed the loo, body was too tired and stiff to get up, and mind was back in Thomas’s childhood house. This meant that by the time Thomas had gotten up, Left shoe forgotten. Body was protesting painfully, mind was in the wrong house, Thomas got confused about where he was, forgot about needing the loo and promptly wet himself in the doorway. Thomas looked down at the wet patch growing, the up as his son walked towards him looking concerned.

“Oh, dad. Did you forget where the toilet was again, or did it surprise you?” He asked kindly leading his dad to the toilet, next door to his bedroom

“No. Yes, have you seen my right shoe?”

“What’s you right shoe? you know you only wear the special Velcro ones now because you can’t tie you laces.”

“No my right foot shoe.” Thomas’s son had dried him off and walked him back to be bedroom to begin the dressing process.

“here is you right shoe” His son said holding up the shoe by the bed.

“no, Yes, No it’s my left right shoe I need.” Thomas said.

“OK dad, You will have to keep your slippers on today until we find you left shoe.”

The dressing process took about and hour, Mind had just got married and was on his honeymoon. Body was in a bad temper Because it had wet its self. Thomas kept telling his son that he was putting on the wrong clothes, as it was his wedding day and he wanted his suit! Mind was often a few memories ahead of Thomas. When Thomas was dressed his son looked around for his belt, the trousers were too big now. Thomas had been wearing the belt yesterday.

“Where’s your belt dad?” he asked

“probably with my shoe!” Thomas replied grumpily, Who got married in their slippers?

“Come on, maybe mum will know”

Thomas and his son went into the living kitchen as Thomas had always called it. It was the warmest room in the house and it was cosy so they installed a TV, arm chairs and a small coffee table in one end, the other had the kitchen and dining room table. Thomas sat down next to his wife Mary.

“MORNING LOVE!” she yelled, Mary was NOT deaf, it was just that everyone mumbled these days. She was in her mid 80’s too. Thomas rolled his eyes

“Mum, mum, MUM!! HAVE YOU, have you seen dads shoe?” He could only yell at his mother for so long, he tried to enunciate more so she could read his lips instead.

“No, Russ love” she spoke in a voice louder than needed but not yelling, for now.

Russ was just glad one of his parents had remembered his name, yesterday he had been Ziggy all day, Ziggy had been his parents’ (Female) dog.

He went back into his dads bedroom to look for the missing left shoe. It wasn’t under the bed, the chair or the pile of clothes that mysteriously kept appearing even though Russ put them away every day. He found the belt over the back of the chair covered by yesterdays shirt. Russ 1, missing things 1. He heard raised voices coming from the living kitchen. He went in. His parents were Yelling at each other About the film that was on and who had or hadn’t been in the original. It wasn’t a heated argument just a loud discussion between two, NOT deaf, older people. He quickly refreshed his mums drink and got his dad one, then texted his son to come down tho watch them whilst he went out for a walk and to get the paper. His son appeared and Russ went out into the sunshine. When he returned in an hour all hell had broke loose.

“THAT WAS THE WRONG BLOODY SHOE!” His dad yelled at his mam

“YOU WANTED THE RIGHT LEFT SHOE, THE LEFT SHOE IS THE RIGHT ONE” she yelled back.

Russ looked at Charlie his son. Beckoning him into another room where Thomas and Mary’s shouts were quieter. Russ looked at Charlie

“What happened son”

“I dunno,” he shrugged “Gran got up I thought she was going to the bathroom, Then she came back with a shoe, granddad Said it was the wrong one so she took it away and came back with another shoe” Russ nodded

“Same shoe, both times?”

“no, Same pair, Different shoes.”

“So, your telling me gran went out grabbed a right footed shoe, took it back and came back with a left foot shoe?”

“Well yeah, the Velcro swapped sides” Charlie said confused. Russ filled him in on the case of the missing left shoe. they had a laugh about it then went into Thomas’s bedroom to retrieve the Shoes. As the passed the living kitchen Thomas and Mary were still arguing about the shoe.

“YOU WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO WEAR A PAIR OF SHOES THESE DAYS ANYWAY!” Mary yelled.

“YES I WOULD! IF I PUT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET, THEY’D HURT MY TOES!” Came Thomas’s childish reply.

The boys laughed as they passed. The couple were never violent towards each other, most of the arguments sounded intense but it was mostly Mary’s sarcastic sense of humour. Russ looked down at the floor by the bed, there was one shoe. He picked it up. It was the left foot shoe. He checked the room again for the other.

“Bloody hell.” He muttered as he went back to his parents.

“That’s my shoe!” Thomas said when he saw the shoe

“Yes, mum where did you put the other shoe?” He asked

“In his room! Where do you think I would put a blummin’ shoe?”

“No mum, before he only had a right shoe, now he only has a left?”

“So go and get the left.”

“I can’t mum, I cant find it.”

“Look.” she said getting impatient. “YOUR father lost his shoe, I found it in his room, brought it in here. He said I was wrong I put it back in his room and got the other one, He said he wanted both. I told him to get them himself and I took it back to his room.” (It was always YOUR father when she was mad at Thomas, never MY husband.) Russ looked at his dad

“Dad did you go and get your shoes?”

“Yes she’s hid the Right Right shoe now!”

“No” Charlie interrupted. “No one left the room after that, The argument started.”

“Mum did you find both shoes in dads room together?”

“No, but I put them back there.”

“Could you have forgot and put the other shoe in the wrong place?”

“No, I’m not senile, he’s senile.” Russ did wonder about this at times as Mary’s mind used to enjoy going off on wonder’s these days too. Russ sighed and put the shoe back in his dads room where she knew where to find it and went back to the living kitchen, he motioned for Charlie to get up. Russ and Charlie left them to argue and searched the house top to bottom, there was no other shoe. They checked the garden, nothing. They checked back inside, in cupboards and nooks, in cranny’s and handbags, toy boxes for Russ’s grand kid’s. Nothing. Confused they went back to the kitchen. A game show was on the TV. Thomas and Mary glued to the channel. Russ looked at his dads feet, still in slippers. He went in his dads room. One lonely right right shoe was there on the floor by the bed waiting for it’s mate. Russ sat on the bed and stared at the shoe. Where on earth was the other blooming shoe?

It’s been 6 months now….

Where is that blooming shoe?