My Haunted Ghost "FEAR of FAILURES" 👻😱

This story is about my ghost who haunted me in my past. "Fear" was my biggest Ghost who haunted me in my childhood.

No matter how big we are, we all have fears. I have fears of nearly everything such as heights, the dark, death of loved ones, being alone, deep water and all reptiles. I know I sound like a little child but that's me. Failure is perhaps my biggest fear.

  My fear of failure has ruled my childhood life. I always have a fear of disappointing my parents' expectations and those of others. When I finished high school, my parents wanted me to be a doctor. But I decided to choose my future path in information technology. I want to prove to them that I've taken the right path and made the right choice.

Furthermore, I always try my best to be perfect in everything and have high standards. Because of this fear I never feel satisfied about what I accomplish.

  I have always let my fear of failure and not being good enough to control my life and to keep me from enjoying it. What I need is to believe in my self, in my capabilities and to have good thoughts as well. I'll change the thoughts of negativity and fear to those of optimism and positivity. It is impossible to please everyone. Therefore, I'll have my own expectations to fulfill.

Guys!! Whether you like to admit it or not we all have things we are afraid of. While these fears might be different for everyone and can vary from person to person, they are very real. If not put into check, your fears can cause major issues in your life, like worry, panic, and anxiety if you let them.

For me I have one fear I have struggled with constantly. My biggest fear is the fear of failing. This fear has caused many problems through out my adult life. It’s caused me to worry, avoid taking risks, and led me to do absolutely nothing at times. It destroyed my self-confidence and my self-worth, and there have been times where I was so afraid of failing, I decided not to do anything. This caused anxiety, panic, worry, and even depression. I stopped believing in myself and in my dreams. It was even preventing me from starting my business. It’s a terrible feeling. It’s so terrible that I decided I needed to fight back and overcome this fear in my life.

How did I start overcoming my fear of failing? I’m glad you asked. Here are a few things I did, and continue to do to put my fear of failing in its place…

In order to overcome my fear of failing I first had to recognize and admit to my fear, which was difficult. I believe we have a hard time admitting we are afraid of things. It’s embarrassing and we don’t want to get made fun of, but here’s the thing…everyone has fears. Often times we let our pride and egos get in the way of what is really going on in our lives, which makes it difficult or nearly impossible to be self-aware. I had to step back, push my pride and ego to the side and admit that I was afraid. Once I admitted to myself that I was afraid of failing, I then could start working on overcoming it.

Once I admitted to myself that I was afraid of failing I could start learning how to overcome it. I read book after book about overcoming obstacles, challenges, and fears. I read self-improvement books to help build my confidence back up, encourage myself to take risks, and try new things. It became a passion to learn as much as I could about overcoming obstacles and challenges.

I am fortunate to have an amazing husband and family who are very supportive. I realized that I cannot do everything on my own, so I confided in them. I asked for their feedback, ideas, and suggestions about concepts and ideas that I had. Sometimes the best thing you can do is admit you are struggling and ask for help. It’s okay to lean on someone else from time to time.

Speaking of leaning on others from time to time, I realized when I was afraid of failing I could lean on God. I needed to trust in Him and His plan, be obedient, and do my part. Simply praying for guidance and strength has done more for me than I can even explain. I now pray every morning before I start the work day.

My fear of failing had caused me to retract and become reclusive. I didn’t want to take any chances or risks. I realized this is a boring and sad way to live my life. I decided to start doing small things outside my comfort zone and push my limits. I started training and competing in Dancing and Singing which was WAY outside my comfort zone. Now, it is one of my biggest passions. Doing things outside my comfort zone has helped boost my self-confidence to new levels.

I started setting and establishing goals. By setting goals I could focus more effectively on what I want to achieve in my life. One thing that I do when I have a new idea is I write down a pros and cons list and keep it on file. When the pros far outweigh the cons, I know I have a good idea and should move forward with it. Whenever I have any kind of doubt or fear about what I’m pursuing I look at the pros and cons list. This helps remind me of why I’m pursuing what I’m pursuing.

Finally, I’ve come to realize that failing is not that big of a deal. It’s all about perspective. When you feel fear it’s actually a good thing because it means you are growing and stretching. It means you are improving. Things might not go how you planned, but at least you can say you tried. Even if you fail, you will have learned something along the way. I finally understand that the real loss is not going for it. The real failure would be to look back on life and say, “What would have happened if I had tried?”

So, now when I feel the fear of failure creeping back into my life, I know how to deal with it more effectively. It takes time to overcome any fear you might have, but it’s important to face them head on and put them in their place. 

After all…Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

Pooja Sarmalkar