Now and Forever

I walked home with a feeling of excitement. Today was our two year anniversary. My husband and I had  decided we wanted to celebrate at our cosy apartment rather than going out. We thought it was just more personal. After work I had rushed over to his favorite fast food restaurant and ordered his favorite meal. I could hardly contain my excitement, he made me so happy! Every morning it was difficult for us to go our separate ways to work, I could go though knowing that when I got home I would see him again. That expectation kept me going.

I finally reached our apartment building and went inside. The building has four floors and our apartment was on the top floor. I rushed into the elevator clutching tightly to the food bag. Today had been a long day, I had to work an hour of overtime and pick up our anniversary dinner. I smiled as I imagined what I knew would happen as soon as I opened the door.

My husband typically got home before I did and when he heard me open the front door, him and our miniature poodle, Stacy would be eager to welcome me home. I relished  this moment every day!

I quickly inserted the key in the lock to open the door and rushed inside. I closed the door behind me and waited, listening. I heard the clicking of Stacy’s paws on our wooden floor. She came racing around the corner and greeted me with yaps and lots of licks. I took off my heels and then bent over to pet her.

“Hey Stacy! Where's your daddy, huh? Is he hiding so he can scare me?” I said as I crouched down next to Stacy. “Well I better go find him then, shouldn’t I?” 

I stood and looked down the little hall that leads to the kitchen and living room. I had a feeling that he was hiding around the corner. I smiled. He was very predictable. 

“Liam! I'm home!” I shouted as I walked slowly down the small hallway. I slowed down as I came to the corner and pressed myself against the wall. I slid the rest of the way until I was just in front of the corner. I waited at least 3 seconds before jumping around the corner expecting Liam to be there.

“HAH!” I shouted. “You thought… Liam?” Liam hadn’t been waiting to scare me. “Liam? You home?” I called out. No response. 

“I guess he's not home yet, but he always tells me when he is going to be late.” I thought to myself. “He must just be really busy.” 

Disappointed, I walked to the table and placed the bag of food on the counter. Then I noticed a folded piece of paper with a heart drawn onto it. Surprised, I reached for it and opened it. I smiled as I recognized my husband's handwriting.

Annie ♡

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! I'm the luckiest man to have married you! I'm going to be home later today so that I can pick up the gift I got for you! It might be a while but I'll be back home soon. Love you! 

- Liam ☺

I covered my mouth as a giggle of anticipation and contentment escaped. Of course he was doing something like this!

“How did I get such a sweet guy? Ugh I just love him so much!” I thought as I held the note to my chest. I walked to the couch and sat down. I had been at least an hour late so I knew that it probably wouldn’t be long before he would be home. 

Not even 10 minutes later I heard a knock on the door. I jumped to my feet thrilled.

“He's home! He must've lost his key again if he's knocking.” I thought to myself rushed over to give him a hand. I opened the door quickly.

“Liam!” I shouted excitedly but instead of looking up and seeing the smile of my husband, I was greeted by a solemn looking police officer. Upon seeing the officer, the pit of my stomach dropped and I knew something wasn’t right.

“Is this the residence of Mrs. Davis?” The officer asked in a low solemn voice. “I have a message to relay to her.”

“Yes, I am her.” I said as my voice began to shake. “How- how can I help you.” 

The man gestured inside. “May I come in?” He said. I gave a slight nod and moved aside to let him in. 

“Ma’am I have news regarding your husband, Liam Davis. This evening your husband took bus 42 Henderson Express. While he was on board, another bus lost control and T-boned the bus your husband was currently travelling on...The bus caught fire and he was one of six victims who did not make it out in time.” He said sadly. “His wallet was surprisingly intact and I'm sorry to say that is all I can give you. Due to the severe burns his body can not be recovered for viewing. I'm terribly sorry ma’am…”

I couldn’t move. I felt completely paralyzed. I hardly remember the police officer getting up to leave but as soon as he did my body began to shake and tears streamed down my face. That day my whole world came crashing down. 

A year had passed since my husband had died and I had given Stacy to my mom because I mentally and physically couldn’t care for her. It still felt like it was yesterday that I had received the heart wrenching news that had forced me to plan and attend my husband's funeral. 

 As sad as it was I was never able to accept that my husband was dead. No matter the evidence a feeling of uneasiness swept over me each time I thought of it. 

A close friend of mine, Julie, suggested that I looked through Liam's old things and then put them away. She said that it might help me move on…to grieve and heal. Deep in the back of my mind I knew that not letting go was not healthy for me, so maybe that's why I found myself looking through Liam’s laptop.

Our relationship had never been a secretive one and that's why I knew the password to his laptop. A small laugh escaped me as I typed in his password. People had always jokingly mocked us about how perfect we were. Of course we had our fights but they never lasted long. We never got tired of each other and everyday after work we acted as if we hadn’t seen each other in forever. 

The password of course worked and I could access my husband’s unorganised desktop. The background was a picture of us on our wedding day. Seeing it made me miss him all the more. So I decided to look at all of the old emails we used to send each other. 

“Where in the world did he keep his email? I can’t find anything on here….” I said frustrated. “Oh there it is!” I finally found his email and clicked on it. 

There I found opened emails from the local police station. Curious I clicked on one of the emails and a small message popped up. It read, “This information is confidential. Enter the password.” 

“Confidential? What?” I questioned aloud. “What could be so important that it is confidential?”  I typed in the same password that I used to get into the laptop and I received a notification that the password was incorrect. Now, feeling  very confused with my heart pounding in my chest, I clicked out of that email and tried the other emails. On every single email I got the same confidential pop up as I got on the first email.

I closed the laptop and sat back in my chair to think. I had always been uneasy about Liam’s death and now these emails brought up new questions. 

“My husband never rode the bus… He always rode his bike everywhere he went, no matter the weather, or how long the ride was.” I thought. “And now I find these weird emails that I can’t even read. Is my husband really dead?”

“What am I thinking!?” I stood up and began to pace. “His picture had been on the news, a police officer came to my house to tell me that he was dead. There is no evidence or anything suggesting that he is still alive.” And yet… I couldn’t rid myself of this uneasy feeling that something was amiss.

An exasperated sigh escaped my lips and tears of anguish ran down my cheeks. Looking in Liam’s laptop had only reopened old wounds. 

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea..” I whispered to myself through the tears. “Why did he have to go? Why did you leave me Liam!?” My voice rose to a shout before I crumpled to the floor and began to sob. 

I don’t know how long I had been crying but when I could cry no longer I stood and left the storage room and went to the bathroom. My cheeks were streaked with tears, my eyes were very puffy, and my hair was a mess. I couldn’t stand to look at myself so I left bathroom and walked to the kitchen. 

I was hungry but didn’t have the motivation to cook so I called a nearby pizza place and asked them to deliver a pizza.  After the phone call I attempted to smooth my hair with my hands before I washed my face with cool water from the kitchen sink. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. 

“Well that didn’t take long.” I said. I'm pretty sure I still looked like a mess but it was only the pizza guy so I didn’t care. I grabbed some cash and walked to the door, opened it and held out the money. 

“Well that didn’t take long! That’s twelve dollars right?”  I asked with a small smile.

“Early am I? I would say I'm rather late… By at least a year.” the man said with a chuckle and a catch in his throat. 

I froze, my extended hand fell to my side, my eyes were glued to the floor. I knew that voice, it was the same voice that I had longed to hear over the past year. The voice that belonged to the man that swept me off my feet. 

I jerked my head up now and looked at him and I felt numb. There he was, Liam, standing in front of me, in the flesh. He had started to grow facial hair but I recognized the same twinkle in his eye from the last time I had seen him. His eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

I didn’t know what to do or even what to believe or say. Was this real?? The money I had been holding fell to the ground and I covered my gaping mouth with shock and stumbled backwards a few steps. 

“How is this possible?” I whispered. “They said you were dead… I attended your funeral! I PLANNED your funeral!!” Sadness crossed over Liam’s face and he walked inside letting the door close behind him and embraced me. 

“This is a lot to take in… Please allow me to explain this to you. You deserve it.” He said solemnly. He went to move but I stopped him. 

“Lets… Let's stay like this for a while…” I said. I couldn’t see his face but I'm sure he was smiling as he said, “yes please.” We stood there maybe thirty seconds longer before a knock disturbed us.

Three men stood at the door. Two police officers and a young delivery boy, who had a very curious look on his face. I took the pizza from the boy’s hands and picked up the money off the floor where it had been forgotten and handed to him so he could be on his way. One of the men asked for Liam to meet them downstairs. They needed him to come down to the police department to touch base and plan their next move. Liam told them that we would be down in a few minutes before closing the door and leading me to the living room couch. I had been in a daze and wasn’t really comprehending what was going on. All that I could think about was how my husband, the man I love so dearly who was dead was now alive, sitting beside me. I took his hand and squeezed. It was real. 

“Annie, I'm sure you're pretty confused by now so let me explain.” Liam said while holding my hands in his. “It all started one day while I was on my way to work…” 

Liam told me that he heard a sound in an alleyway like someone groaning between two apartments. So he went to check it out. In the alleyway Liam saw three men standing around a still firm on the ground. Liam quietly moved forward and examined them. They all wore the same hoodie with the same strange symbol on the back. One of the men crouched down and he noticed that one of the men was holding a knife. 

After seeing the knife a sick realization dawned on him. The three men were standing around a person and that person was dead. Liam covered his mouth and took a step back in shock. One of the men must have heard because he turned around and alerted his buddies. Liam turned around and ran. He ran until he was breathless weaving in and out of the streets until he was sure he had lost them.

Liam was very distraught for the rest of the day. He told me that he didn’t know what he should do. Eventually he called the police and reported what he had seen. The police thanked him and recorded his number so that they could question him later. 

Feeling better Liam continued on with his day. After two days had gone by Liam had started receiving notes on his desk. They said things like “your next” and “you can’t hide.” Liam reported this to the police and they concluded that he was the next target for a dangerous gang. Later that day there was an attempt on Liam’s life… a car he didn’t recognize tried to push him off the road. He kept peddling until he reached a nearby restaurant. He drove around the back, opened the door and wheeled the bike inside. He asked to use their phone explaining he was being followed.

“The police suggested witness protection.” They were concerned that it was also putting you in danger,” Liam said as he ran his hand through his hair. “And because they were trying to kill me they suggested staging my death to get them off my back.” 

“And you obviously agreed.” I said slowly. “That's why you were in that bus crash… Wasn’t it? Even though you never take the bus.” 

Liam gave me a sad smile. “It was the only way I could think of to keep you and myself safe. The police told me that I had to wait a year before I could come and get you. They said it would be suspicious if you didn’t grieve my death.” He finished with a small chuckle. 

“Liam, I don’t know what to say.” I started. “The past year has been so hard without you… Liam I love you so much! Don’t leave me again!” I said as tears began rolling down my cheeks. Liam reached over and pulled me into his arms. 

“Shh. Shh”, he whispered against my hair. “Don’t you worry. Do you remember what my wedding vows were?” I nodded and Liam smiled. “Well I meant every word… Annie, I will be with you now and forever, and nothing, not even death can separate us.”