Valentine's Day, Sort of

“RINGGG!! RINGGG!!”  I woke to the ballistic sounds of my alarm, rolling over in bed to smack the OFF button. 

“Macy!” my roommate yelled at me from across our compact dorm room, “How many times have I told you to get rid of that thing!” 

“If it wasn’t for that alarm Jenny,  we’d have been expelled from campus a long time ago, and you know it.” I retorted as I sluggishly dragged myself out of bed. Jenny followed in suit.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” she said, folding her sheets neatly on her bed. 

“And yet you always forget to thank me.” I remarked sarcastically with a sardonic smile. 

Jenny shrugged her shoulders as she walked over to my end of the room, sprawling on my half way made bed. As usual, she had on her conventional strawberry pajamas, which I found ironic given that she was allergic to strawberries. Stretching herself across my bed, she ran her hand through the messy blonde hair which sat in tangles on her head.

“Ah!” she exclaimed, a thought suddenly coming to her, “Today is Valentine's Day Macy!”

Shreking in ebullition, she jumped off my bed, completely ruining the placement of my sheets. 

I smacked my hand against my forehead. Damn it. Not this day again. 

Jenny grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard, “Oh my gosh! How could I forget! The Valentine's Dance is today!” she paused in thought, “I don’t even have a dress!”

“Why do you need a dress. You don’t even know if anyone is going to ask you.” I pointed out dryly. 

Jenny frowned, “Thanks for the support Macy. Really appreciate it.”

“Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean it that way.”

She nodded, “It’s alright. I know every year you don’t really enjoy Valentine’s Day anyway. You never tell me why though.” Jenny sighed softly and walked over to the petit bathroom in our room, beginning to work through the knots and tangles in her hair. 

I rummaged through the piles of textbooks scattered on my desk and found my phone engulfed somewhere in the mass of paper.

I opened it to find dozens of notifications listed on the lock screen, all of which had something related to Valentines Day. 

Today’s going to be a long day. 

***

As Jenny and I entered the front doors of our highschool, we were inundated with flurries of red and pink confetti that were being thrown throughout the halls by students. Paper cut outs of hearts were sprawled about the ground, taped to the walls, and even hung on the ceilings. 

From some place or another, light hearted music was being played loudly, bouncing off the surface of the walls. Students in the halls all sported some sort of Valentine’s day decoration ranging from a pink heart temporary tattoo to a fake angel winged costume and red heart socks. 

I glanced over at Jenny who seemed to be on the verge of explosion, “Aie!!!” she shrieked in ecstasy, “This is what I call Valentine spirit!”

I genuinely didn’t understand why our campus made such a big deal out of this holiday. What was so special about it? All it encompassed was an exchange of chocolate and unnecessary make out sessions under the bleachers. Why were people so hyped about that? 

Especially since it was the day that………..

“Macy? Macy, are you alright?” Jenny looked at me with concern as she placed a hand on my shoulder. “I know you don’t like this day very much, but I think you should at least try to make this, you know,  “not the most miserable day” of your life.””

I shrugged, “And how do you suggest I go about that?” 

Jenny gave me a stern and solemn look, “Right after school, we are going to go shopping for a Valentine’s Day Dress. After we find one for both of us, we’re going to go to that dance and have the night of our lives, regardless if anyone asks us. It’ll be a girls night out!” she ejaculated, her eyes lighting up in excitement.

I shook my head, “I don’t know Jenny. I really don’t want to spend this day having the night of my life. It’s tiring enough as it is, and I don’t think partying all night would help.”

Jenny placed both of her hands on my shoulders and looked at me firmly, “Macy. I know you don’t like this day though god forbid you won’t tell me why!” she paused, “However, you and I are going to make this day so fun and memorable that you won’t have any reason to dislike this day in the future. Agreed?”

I sighed, realizing there was no way I’d be able to talk my way out of it, “Agreed.”

***

The bell rang as our final period ended. I gathered all my things which I’d scattered all across my desk and quickly jotted down the textbook practice problems our math teacher assigned.

As I lifted my head to glance at the numbers on the board, from the corner of my eye,  I saw someone advancing towards my desk. The figure stopped right beside me and seemed to be waiting for me to acknowledge its presence.

I shifted my gaze from the board to the figure and looked up to see Liam, a boy I’ve liked since the sixth grade, standing there.

He ran his hand through his ivory black hair, his hazel brown eyes glancing around nervously. As he smiled at me, I saw two dimples perk up at the edge of his lips, so perfectly placed at the sides of his mouth. His expression seemed warm and sent heat waves rushing through my body. 

“Hey Macy.” he said, shoving both hands into pockets at his sides.

“Hey.” I replied, unable to whip up a better remark than that.

He shrugged his broad shoulders as if to release some tension from his body. “It’s been a pretty crazy day today huh?” he asked.

I laughed lightly, “Yeah. Yeah it has.”

“Well um, I was just gonna ask you if you maybe wanted to make this day just a bit crazier, and uh, maybe be my Valentine and go to the dance with me tonight?”

I looked at him in astonishment. Did Liam Williams, the boy that I’ve had a crush on since sixth grade, the boy that I’ve fantasized being with for forever, just ask me to be his Valentine?

“I..I uh..” I ran out of words to say. I wasn't sure what to say. Say yes! A voice in my head screamed. Say yes god damn it!

I couldn’t though. Not this day. I couldn’t spend this day, celebrating with a boy at a dance, having the night of my life. I just couldn’t, not on the day that my parents died. Not on the day they passed away in that car accident. Not on the day I lost them forever. 

***

“You what!” Jenny screamed at me, her eyes wide, jaw open.

“I told him no.” I repeated for what seemed like the fifth time. 

Jenny shook her head vigorously, putting her hands on her hips,  “Let me get this straight Macy Davis, Liam Williams, the boy that you’ve been head over heels for since sixth grade, came up to you after class, asked you to be his Valentine, and YOU SAID NO?” She stretched out the last three words, emphasizing each syllable to its greatest extent.

“Yes,” I repeated once more, “Yes, I said no.”

Jenny groans in frustration, “Why the hell would you do that Macy? I get that you don’t like this day and all, but Liam Williams, LIAM WILLIAMS, asked you to go to the dance with him, and you flat out rejected him.” she rubbed her hand on her forehead hard, “I just don’t understand.”

“I just couldn’t say yes, Jenny. You don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand Macy. Let me know what’s going on. That’s what friends are for!” she cried.

“It’s nothing.” I told her, and she let out a sigh.

“If you don’t want to tell me, fine, but you promised me you would go to that dance with me, so with or without a Valentine, we are going.” she said resolutely. 

“We didn’t even get a chance to buy a dress. Why don’t we just stay in the dorm and spend the night watching movies and eating popcorn like we do every Friday?” 

Jenny rolled her eyes, “Like you said, Macy, we do that EVERY Friday. Again, I know that you don’t like this day for whatever reason but that is why I am going to work with you to change that. So, we are going to that dance.” she glanced down at her phone, checking the time, “Ah! It’s already five! We need to hurry!”

“We don’t have anything to wear.” I pointed out again. 

“Quick,” Jenny said, “I have a couple of spare dresses in my closet. We can just work with those.” 

I sighed, Will this day ever end?

***

Jenny and I re-entered the school front doors, welcomed once again by the flurries of confetti, hearts, and music we’d encountered in the morning. 

We make our way down the halls to the gym where the dance is being hosted. There, we saw masses of students, dancing along with their partners, drinking punch and snacking on chips that were available in concession stands.

There was a DJ blasting some slow dance tunes and disco lights flashing across the floor from some projectors hidden at the corners of the room.

Jenny turned her attention towards me, “Remember Macy, tonight is going to be fun. Try to put aside all the hate and dislike you have for this day and just enjoy yourself.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, watching as she began walking in the other direction.

“To dance!” she exclaimed, “Are you coming?”

“No, I’m good. You have fun. I think I’ll just chill over here by the punch stand.” I said.

Jenny let out a long exhale, seeming to finally have given up and surrendered, “Alright.” she said, “Still have fun then, ok?”

I nodded as she turned away, disappearing in the swarms of dancing people. I walked over to the punch stand and grabbed a plastic cup, filling it up all the way. I brought the drink to my lips and took a long sip of the cool liquid, enjoying the cherry flavor as it passed through my throat. 

“I just have to make it through this last dance, and the day will finally be over.” I muttered under my breath.

“I said the same thing when my friend dragged me here.” I heard a voice remark with a laugh. 

I snapped my head over my shoulder to see Liam Williams, the boy I rejected earlier today, standing behind me with two cherry fruit punch cups in his hand.

I gestured to the drinks, “Come with a Valentine?” I asked.

Liam shook his head. “No, I just thought you might like a drink.” he glanced down at the cup in my hand, “but I guess you already have one. Did you come with a Valentine?”

I nodded, “Nope, just me.”

We stood there silent for a few moments, both unsure of what to say. 

“I like your dress. It looks good on you.” Liam cuffs his left hand, rubbing his palm against the surface of his neck. 

I lowered my head, doing a double take of my outfit. Jenny and I hadn’t had many options to pick from given that our clothes selection was limited to what she had stashed in our petit shareable closet. As I didn’t have much to choose from, I’d decided to grab up the first thing I could reach for and swap into it. 

It wasn’t very flattering at all, just a casual azure colored dress. It clung tight at my waist, but flowed freely at the end, giving me a lot more flexibility then the body tight outfit Jenny had worn here. 

“Thanks.” I said, fidgeting with the hem of the dress, “You look nice too.” 

Liam wore a solid white dress shirt with cuffs at the end of both sleeves. To pair with that, he sported black ivory pants and a pair of clean polished dress shoes. His hair is brushed back neatly, and he seemed to be cleanly shaven, his dimples even more prominent than this afternoon.

Liam crossed his arms, letting them rest over his chest, “Hey,” he said, “I was just wondering. Since you were coming to the dance, and you didn’t already have a Valentine, why not come with me? I mean, at least as a friend?” 

His eyes locked with mine, and I feel my knees weaken at the sight of his innocent and questioning gaze.

“I would’ve come with you.” I told him, “It’s just this really isn’t my day. It’s tiring and long enough as it is. I just didn’t think that coming to this dance with a boy I really liked, having the night of my life, would be appropriate today.” I blushed realizing what I had just said.

“You like me?” he asked, his eyes lighting up like a puppy receiving a treat.

“Yeah, I guess.” I replied with a shrug, figuring there was no reason to take back what I said.

Liam grins, “Well I really like you too Macy Davis, and if you don’t like this day, if Valentines Day isn’t your thing, then I’m cool with that. However, on every other day that it isn’t Valentine’s Day, would you be willing to be my Valentine?” 

I stared at him, awestruck, unsure of what to say.

“You want me to be your Valentine but not on Valentine’s Day?” Heat flushed up my cheeks, and I swore I turned as red as a cherry on the spot. 

“Girlfriend, would be another word for it.” he added with a smile.

“Oh.” was all I could think to say.

“If you don’t want to I understand though. I mean given we’re still busy with school and all.” Liam rolled his shoulders in a circle.

“No,” I said, “I mean yes, I’d love to be your Valentine every day other than today, and no, I’m not too busy.”

Liam’s grin grew wider, “Great.” he said, “Then, do you want to go do your thing, and I’ll see you tomorrow when it’s not Valentine’s Day?”

I shook my head, “No, it’s ok. I think I can start being your Valentine now. I think we should go and dance.” I smile, pulling him into the crowd of people.

Thank you Mom and Dad. I love you both so much, and I want you to see how much fun I’m having. From now on, this day will be the day I celebrate your love, not your death. I’ll live this day and enjoy every second of it because it will remind me of the love you both shared for me, and the love I will find for myself.

Happy Valentine's Day.