A NEW RESOLUTION

Ever since she was a child all Terry could remember was the endless fights and the loud voices in the house. Whether it was a normal day or a holiday one thing remained constant, the fights in their household.

She never got along with her siblings. Or her parents. And it seemed that they too never got along with each other. All the family gatherings and holidays and outings were plagued with raised voices or misunderstandings and fights. All good intentions were soon wiped out.

Soon family gatherings became something she wanted to get over with because there would always be the inevitable fights. As soon as she finished college she moved to another city because she couldn’t stand to be near them. It was too painful to watch fight after fight or get drawn into one.

They hadn't seen each other for about 2 years now ever since she left the city where they all stayed. This Christmas, they had planned a big reunion because her grandfather was dying and he wanted to see all of them before he passed on. She was dreading it but also had the hope that maybe this time since they had been apart for long there wouldn’t be fights.

In the time apart, Terry had come to see her family in a new light. She had come to understand them, what drove them to act the way they did. Mostly it stemmed from anxiety and over protectiveness. She came to appreciate the unwavering strength of her mother who supported her even across the distance. Her mother had always been hard on her, and she realised it was because she wanted her to achieve her highest potential.

The protectiveness of her big brother who wanted her to succeed and didn't want to see her in pain. He liked to order her around but she came to realise he saw himself as an authority figure in her life and didn’t want her to make foolish mistakes. She appreciated him now for always looking out for her.

She appreciated the adoration of her little brother who thought that she was a star. His love kept her going on her worst days.

When she got married, her family had reluctantly supported her even if they felt she didn’t know Greg enough for marriage. She had known Greg for only six months when he proposed to her. She felt that they had a strong connection and they had time to get to know each other when they got married. She felt that since he was trying so hard to be with her that maybe he would eventually be ready to be a good husband. Little did she know that a man once grown does not change his habits.

She caught Greg cheating two or three times even before they got married and she brushed it off. Hoping that when they settled down he would stop looking at other women and he would be responsible. What she did not know was that Greg was violent as well. When they got married, every time that she confronted him over something he had done like cheating or worse, he retaliated by hitting her. At first, she hid it from her family because she knew that they would tell her ‘ I told you so.’

 In fact, her brother was really good at saying that and after all, he had warned her that she needed to date Greg for about two years before she even considered marrying him. As usual, she had ignored him. She wanted to be married and she felt that maybe after all the pain that Greg had caused her she deserved happiness and she would be the one to change him. The marriage just led to more and more heartbreak.

Eventually, she couldn't hide it anymore. Her family video called her and noticed the bruises on her face and her arms. They asked what had happened and she broke down in tears. It was a little too much and she told him that Greg had been hitting her.

Her elder brother was very angry, he threatened to kill Greg over it and she said it was her fault. She blamed herself the whole time for the way Greg treated her. Maybe she had done something or pushed him or made him feel that she was unappreciative. He couldn't just be beating her for no reason. She must have provoked it in some way or another.

But Greg was not about to stop and so when she ended up hospitalized from his beating her family flew in and stayed by her side the whole time. They got a restraining order against Greg and kept him away from her. Her brother told her she was never going back to him. She had to move on and stop letting Greg treat her like a punching bag. She was embarrassed what her friends would think but her family told her that they cared for her and they had her best interests at heart. That she should be herself and they would help her get through it. There would always be there for her and she didn't have to be bartered.

She remembered that moment, and now two years later she was thriving and happy. Greg was a figment of her past, but she had seen the strength of her family in that situation and she knew that they loved her.

As she drove to go spend the holidays with her family, she had a bit of hope that this time maybe just maybe the holiday wouldn’t degenerate into shouting because she had grown and she believed they had had a chance to grow too. Maybe this time the holiday would be filled with love, understanding, cheer and enjoying each other. It's all she had ever wanted for as long as she could remember since she had been little.

Maybe it was time to turn a new leaf and try to create a new relationship with her family one built on love and respect and understanding and she could appreciate that they cared about her now.