Together Forever

Nico and Camila broke up, right after he knew she got pregnant. To top off her rotten luck every time, they used to be best friends. Now all of it is gone; the friendship, love and her self-consciousness. Camila’s memory was hazy from all of that silent sobs she had in her bathroom, but she still remembered the last night she saw Nico, where they confronted each other in his car. 

“Abortion is not a choice, Nico!” She cried out, her hands clutching her heaving chest in the furnace of pain. 

“Then tell me, what other options do we have?” He grabbed her shoulders, his tone was controlled. His gaze penetrated directly towards her eyes, then he looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, no one was barely on the highway anyways. “I- I have dreams. We both do!” His words came out as a whisper. 

Camila closed her eyes shut and another tear trickled down her cheeks. Her breath seemed to stutter in her lungs before she let it go, feeling the tension drain from her body. “The baby is innocent. We can’t-” She didn’t finish her words, but both of them knew what she meant.

Nico gave up. He slumped into his seat and let out a heavy sigh, pressing both sides of his temples with both his thumb and index finger. The silence between them almost killed Camila’s insides, but she calmed herself by gazing towards the landscape of the city skyline spreading in front of them. Her thoughts raced with a thousand different ‘what ifs’, but one thing she was sure of, she couldn’t kill the baby no matter what outcome they decided with. 

“Nico.” His name came out softly from her mouth, it almost sent flattery butterflies in his stomach, if they were under different circumstances. Nico heaved out a heavy breath out of his mouth and turned towards her direction gently, the side of his head rested on his headrest, making him look like a cute little puppy in Camila’s eyes. She took his hand and said, “You’re my best friend, and I trust you. I know exactly what you’re feeling right now. Fear. Regret. A thousand ‘what ifs’ lingering in your mind, I knew it all. Me too. I feel the same.” Camila sighed. “If we could turn back time, I would. We both knew it was a mistake, don’t we?” she continued, her eyes looking pleadingly into his. 

Nico nodded a little. His mouth was shut close, still waiting for Camila to finish. He knew what ‘mistake’ she was talking about, so he didn’t question anything. “It’s not that I don’t love you. I do. But being 18 and pregnant was not something I wanted. Neither do you. But it happened after all. We made a mistake and we can’t go back in time.” 

“I love you too.” He chimed in, squeezing her hand tight. 

Camila smiled. She pulled Nico’s hand, pressing it gently towards her belly. Even though the bump was barely visible, there was a life form inside. “This baby is ours.” Her voice came out as a whisper. “And whatever decision we conclude into, I don’t want abortion. I want to keep this baby.” 

Nico shut his eyes. He tightened his grip on her hand. “Camy, what if-”

“Shhh.” She placed her index finger towards his lips. 

“I’m scared. Of every possibility. I don’t to admit it in front of you but-”

“I know. Me too. But we have to try.” 

“I don’t know.” Nico concluded. 

Camy smiled bitterly. “Me too, truthfully. But I’ll propose this to you. I am a hundred percent convinced that I’ll get kicked out from the house right after my parents knew about this. But I’ll find a way to survive, somehow. No matter what it’ll take. I’ll find a way.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “And I was hoping that you will come with me. We’ll build a new life together, Nico. You and I. There’s no one else that I trust more than I trust you. Tomorrow night, I’ll wait for you at Abel’s Diner, and we’ll figure out something, okay?” 

Nico nodded and whispered, “Okay.”

He pulled Camila in his arms, her head pressed against his chest. The silence of the night creeped into the car they were in, leaving a gentle breeze that grazed onto their skin. He pressed his lips gently onto hers, in some way reassuring her that everything will turn out to be okay. In the end, they’ll be okay. “We’ll be okay. I love you, that’s all that matters.”

But Nico never showed up the next day. Her hunch the night before was right, she got kicked out from the house. Worse, she was even warned not to set foot into the household ever again. She was kind of expecting it, she got up onto her feet and recovered from the sorrow faster than she expected. Instinctively, Camila waited for an hour. Two hours, until one of the diner’s waiter came and told her that they will be closing in a few minutes. She gripped her carry-on luggage tight, up to the point where her knuckles turned white. She collects herself together. The last thing she wanted was to weep in front of the people here. 

The moment she got up from her seat, she almost stumbled, not realizing how weak her knees were. All of her heart wanted Nico to be here. Her heart wanted to wait for another hour, convinced that her own best friend/lover won’t turn her down, but her brain knows better. She’s on her own now. She has no one except for herself. Nico won’t come. 

The next few months of her life passed by vaguely in her memory box. She’d rather forget everything that happened at this point, she doesn't want any memory of it. From time to time, she would eventually ring up Nico’s phone, but it was to no avail. He never picked up, not even once. Maybe he lost his phone or something, but Camila refused to believe it. “I guess he really wanted to forget me, huh?” Camila said bitterly, still contemplating the life choices she made. 

She never imagined what falling out of love would feel like. Like, how would one wake up today and just decide that he or she doesn’t love the other person anymore? Is love really that fragile? For Camila, she finds it impossible to fall out of love, especially when you’ve fallen deep and hard for your best friend. Besides, he was the one that understands her the most. He was her shoulder to cry on, the body that wraps her in his warmth in times of her needs and the ear she poured all of her feelings to. Even when they started dating, things just kept getting better and better. Every time he touched her, she could feel the surge of the warm feeling crept into her skin, and every time they kissed, it felt like a zap of electricity surging into her whole body that naturally made her shudder every time their lips touched. But now, she knows exactly how falling out of love feels like, even with someone that she was happiest with.

For months, she figured out a couple of ways on how to survive on her own. She started living on the streets for the first couple of weeks, then she moved under the bridge with few other homeless people since the rain pelted down from the sky intermittently. She stayed there for another few weeks, barely having enough food with the 300 bucks she had with her, taken from her piggy bank. Shortly after, she managed to secure a job at McDonald’s. Despite being 3 months pregnant and having morning sickness each and every time, she figured this was her only chance of surviving. She had to do this, for the sake of her baby. 

When she got her first paycheck, she rented a room nearby. With her being pregnant and all, renting a room was not a waste of money after all. Living in the streets for the past month had been developing some kind of PTSD inside her. The room was nothing fancy, basically just a single empty room where she had to share the toilet with other people living nearby, but it was the best deal she could get at the moment. She still had to save up for food, and other preparations for the baby anyways. Fortunately, she still had her blanket from the first day she left home, and a few other supplies that got her through the days. 

“Mommy hope you’re warm in there, little one.” She whispered, patting her belly that was gradually getting bigger day by day. She could already see the little baby bump, though she doubted it was visible for everybody else.

Camila lived like that for a few more months. Every morning she would go to work, sometimes she would do overtime, and come back to her empty small room in the middle of the night. Her belly was expanding and she felt tired more often than ever. There were times she sobbed at night, clutching her family photo onto her chest. She missed everyone back home. She missed her mom’s fresh baked cookies, her dad’s lame jokes, the movie nights they used to have every Saturday and her comfortable bedroom back home. She missed home. 

The next morning she woke up, she freaked out with the sight of blood on her panties. She held her throbbing belly tight, as more blood came out from her. “Help.” She pleaded, her eyes shut close enduring the pain. She winced and curled onto the floor, crying her hearts out. 

“You’ll be okay, buddy.” She put on her utmost strength, trying to grab her phone from her bag a few feet from her. Every step she took feels like a thousand daggers shot straight into her belly. The moment she got hold of her phone, she dialed the ambulance and filled them in with the details of her location. At least, she managed to do that before she completely blacked out. 

Beeping machines. She could feel wires taped on her hands. The smell of medicines. Hospital, she thought. Her eyes fluttered open. She noticed the oxygen mask she had on, covering both her mouth and nose. Every movement requires her greatest effort, even her little finger twitch seems so weak. But that little movement alerts the person beside her, though she couldn’t clearly see who it was. Her vision was blurry and her breath was shallow. 

Then she remembered, ‘My baby’.

She couldn’t feel any additional weight on her belly anymore. She couldn’t see the bump. It feels like nothing was even there. Her baby was gone. 

Her lips trembled inside the mask. Her eyes shut tight. No, she thought. Then, she remembered the bleedings she had, the excruciating pain, the feeling of death getting a grip of her before she blacked out. Camila sobbed lightly. The energy drained out from her body completely and she blacked out again before hearing the door bursts open. 

“Camy, wake up.” 

Camila woke up to the sound of beeping machines, again. But this time, she wasn’t alone. Someone was here with her, grasping her hands tight. She could feel it, but she couldn’t bear opening her eyes again. Not while knowing she had lost the baby she tried to protect for the past seven months. At that point, she wished she was dead. She wished everything that happened would wash away and be buried with her in the ground. No one deserves to be like her. After everything she went through, she hoped nobody would end up the same as her.

“Camy, our babies are waiting for you.” She recognized the voice. The voice she loathes, but also longing to hear for a long time. Camila’s eyes shot open, shooting daggers towards the owner of the voice, despite her weak condition. 

Nico, she guessed. And she was correct. She could only think of one thing to say to him. 

“I hate you.” Maybe that’ll cut it. Her words come out weak and barely audible, but Nico could tell she was trying to tell him something. 

He took off her oxygen mask gently. “What is it, Camy?” He whispered, bringing his ear towards her lips. 

“I- fucking hate you.” She managed to let out those four words, with tears welled up in her eyes. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

“I fucking hate me too.” Nico was in tears as well. His grip on her hands still not loosened. “I’m so sorry, Camy.”

“I waited for you, but you never came.” Throwing out those long sentences hurts her on the outside and insides. She tried to pull her hands out from his grip, but it was impossible. His grip tightened around her hands. 

“I actually came that night, Camy. But I was too late, you were already gone.” Nico looked directly at her with pleading eyes. He stammered in his words as well. “I looked everywhere for you, along with your parents.”

“Bullshit.” She muttered under her breath. 

“Camy, please. Trust me. Let me fix this. I’m sorry. I know sorry doesn’t cut it but I’ll do everything, to make this right. I was late that night, and I turned your life into a living hell. I should’ve found you sooner and brought you out of your misery, but I didn’t. I was a loser. I left you alone with the thought of me throwing you away from my life. But it wasn’t anything like that, I swear on my life. I loved you. I still do, and I’ll always will. Everyday I woke up, my goal was always to find you, to hold you again in my arms. To never let you go, to never hurt you, ever again. I would never forgive myself with the doubt I had about keeping our babies. I would never forgive myself for the things that had happened to you, Camy. Please, give me another chance. I promise I’ll fix this family, for you and for our babies.” His face was wet with tears, his voice came out hoarse from all the crying.

Camy couldn’t hold back and shed tears as well. She couldn’t bring herself to look at his face yet. She couldn’t even trust the words coming out from his mouth. Did he really come the night she waited for him? Did he really go out looking for her every single day? 

But one thing she wanted to make sure of, “Did you say… babies?” 

Nico sniffled but managed to let out a weak smile. “Yes, Camy. You gave birth to a beautiful pair of twins. A boy and a girl. They’re premature, and currently under the hospital’s care. They had to cut your belly up to save the baby.” Nico paused and took out a shaky breath. “When you passed out, the hospital called your parents and we went to the hospital together. That’s how we found you, Camy. The doctor told us that you blacked out from extreme stress, dehydration and exhaustion. They even had to perform an emergency surgery to save our babies. You were in a coma for two whole days. At that time, I- I thought I’ll lose you.” 

Nico cried again. Camy didn’t remember him as a big crybaby before, but this whole thing that happened maybe affected him emotionally. “I insisted on saving you instead. But when the doctor told me you’re carrying twins, I- I can’t risk two lives. I don’t know what to do that I- I-” He broke down sobbing beside her bed. 

Camila resisted the urge to hold his face in her hands and tell him it’s okay, but she eventually gave in. Nico was also startled on her sudden touch, but he reacted fast and kissed her palms. “When your eyes flutter open, I couldn’t express how grateful I felt, even though your first words towards me was ‘I fucking hate you’,” both of them chuckled at his remark. “Despite everything that had happened, I still love you. Always and forever, I will love you. I won’t come up late to you anymore. I won’t waste another second I have with you. I want to build a life with you. Us, together. I want to be with you forever.” 

Camila found herself smiling again. Hearing those words from Nico made her heart feel at ease. At that moment, she finally realized, no matter where she went or what she was going through, every morning she hoped that Nico would show up and take her home. Every moment she would still think about him, no matter how hard her brain wanted to hate him, but her heart just can’t. She can’t deny it anymore, no matter how hard she tried. “I still love you too.” 

“I can't imagine growing old with anyone else, nor do I want to. I know you're the only one I want to share the rest of my life with.” Nico got down to one knee and took out a red velvet box from his back pocket. Camila’s heart skipped a beat. “Me and you, together forever?”

She was lost at words. She knew she still loved him. In fact, she never stopped loving him. Imagining herself having a future with her best friend, along with their beautiful pair of twins, it was the perfect life she ever imagined. Building her new life alongside Nico, she couldn’t picture herself being happier than that. Despite those state of affairs, they knew nothing could not be fixed, including their shattered relationship. Even if it meant to fix those broken pieces with tapes and bandages, they will do what it takes. For the sake of their babies. Together, they beamed a smile. 

“Together forever.”