Beyond Repair

I feel my phone vibrating violently in my bag. As I stop and rummage through its contents, I am overcome by a sense of glee. Tomorrow onwards, I do not need to carry it, tomorrow onwards, I will not be burdened by its contents. I find my phone and it is a call from Cullen. I am going to reach them in a minute at the most so I cut the call. As I raise the flap of my shoulder bag, my phone buzzes again and I again I cut the call. I’m trying to avoid the call on purpose. It’s nothing against him, but I would like to enjoy my freedom alone for a bit. My phone buzzes again and I finally pick up.

“Man, look out the window. You can actually see me. I’ll be there, give me a second.” I don’t actually think he can see me, but I wouldn’t peg him for a type of person who would actually bother to check.

“Oh okay.” And he cuts the call. I was right! But it did greatly annoy me. One moment he is dying to talk to me and the other moment he cuts the call? Not even a bye? This person is a mystery.

As I walk down the sidewalk, I see my shadow. The silhouette, sure is of a person stuck in a mind numbing, 9-to-5 job, but my heart is not. Looking at it, all I can think of his how different things are going to be tomorrow onwards. I can try and change my look tomorrow, but today, I wear this for the last time in all its glory. But I run my hands through my hair and loosen up my tie just a bit. After all, its after hours and a celebration.

I enter the café and it is not busy. I can smell some very light, polite drinks and some very basic, agreeable finger foods. I hear a few awkward, seemingly forced laughs down the café, aah, it’s the corporates. I am not surprised a bit, not many people have dinners at a chic café at 7:30 PM on a Wednesday at the ‘business part’ of the town.

I see a table with the most random group of people. Cullen spots me and raises his hand a bit. Rhea turns and smiles while Toby just head nods. The difference is almost hilarious. I nod, wave and smile at the same time. Ugh, this makes me the one that tries to please everyone. I realize I have been standing there for quite a while when Toby finally scoots over to make some room for me on the sofa that he was sitting on. A sudden realization hits me. I may be scoffing at the corporates but I am falling first into a pile of polite drinks, agreeable finger foods and a load on forced laughter for about a week. And that’s the best possible scenario.

I set my bag aside and sit there just staring at each one. Rhea and Cullen look alike, with their bushy brows and a wide jaw, as they should for, they are siblings. It is a weird to realize that this is my first light-hearted meet with Cullen. I am guessing it’s the same with Toby. He looked so different as a kid. He was a chubby kid and he was quite intimidating too but now, he looks the most affable of the bunch, maybe it’s his-

“It’s been a long time, right?” Toby says.

I am right again! It is his older brother instincts that make him affable today. I hope the instincts stay activated through the trip.

“Can we order the food already?” Cullen blurts out. Of the corner of my eye, I can see Rhea rolling her eyes at him. That is a very sibling thing to do.

I couldn’t help but notice that all four of us have the same nose. The same, small but pointed nose. Note to self- if everything seems overwhelming, just do it for your nose. You are finally talking to people who have the same nose as you. It can’t be that bad.

“What do you want to have?” Toby asks

“To be honest, anything. I’m tired of dorm ramen and any sort of noodles at this point. I came here for the good food. Order something already!” Cullen says

He looks like any other Computer Science college student wearing a sweater with the sleeves rolled up a bit. That is all I know about him; he is a college student.

“I see ramen hacks all the time. Haven’t you tried them?” I ask. Well in my defense, I have to say something to not sound too unbothered.

“You are currently talking to a MasterChef; ramen edition” Rhea says and we all laugh.

Now what surprises me is that this is a genuine laugh. What she said was not funny, but it did remind us all of our college days.

“Okay so no ramen or any kind of noodle preparation. That’s a bummer though, I read a review saying they have amazing chopsuey. Never mind, any other preference? Rhea, Jim?” Toby says

I see a hint of his old bossiness. I don’t think he was not trying to be bossy back then when he would ask us if we would but want to play on the swings or play tag. He would just decide what was good for us and throw a tantrum when we did not agree. Maybe he always was protective older brother and now he has the brains to express his emotions well.

“Oooh, get something without tomatoes for him” Rhea said pointing to me, grinning wide.

Don’t bring that up please. Do not bring that up!

“Oh yes, the tomas make his tummy go whoop!” Toby laughs as he gives me a nudge.

“Hey, hey, I was eight!” I say trying my best to avoid embarrassment.

“I was six, tomas did not make my tummy go whoop! What kind of sorry excuse is that?” Rhea said. Now I can totally see why people would be intimated of her. I came in and all I remembered was a six-year-old girl with short hair brown hair, who smiled a toothless smile as she dug deep in the mud, dirt getting under her fingernails. Now, she digs as deep as she can to find some farce claim that would prove innocence of her client of guilt of the other party. A lawyer through and through.

“What about the tomatoes! I want to know!” Cullen was practically screaming with excitement at this point.

“Let’s order first, we have all week-“I say over Cullen

“No, tomas first, food next!” Toby talks over me, laughing and starts the story.

**************************

It has been about three days now. We had the dinner, and the next day we started out for the trip to our family cottage. Calling it a cottage is a half-truth at best. It’s a big property sprawling across eight acres but they call it cottage just because of the five-bedroom cottage that used to be occupied by about fifteen people every year. Nobody ever factors in the stables, and the general forest like shrubbery around it. I am convinced they my pretentious, privileged extended family calls it a ‘cottage’ just because it sounds homely.

Toby is driving and Rhea called shotgun, I am stuck in the back with Cullen. His head bobs with his music, as he types away on his laptop. Rhea has made herself at home and is sitting cross-legged in her seat, shoes neatly tucked under the seat. Toby occasionally whips out snacks from the dashboard and everyone blesses his sweet soul. I simply am looking out the window and it makes me happy. I am surprised that the cottage looks the same after all these years. I do remember the three of us running around and finding weird stones and pebbles and then bringing our finds to be judged by all our parents. Everyone would unanimously say Rhea has the best stone because ‘she is the youngest’ and she would be smug about it.

“Cullen, look out! You would have been here too if shit did not hit the fam with our parents. It your first ‘cousins only trip’ with your mom’s side of the family, right?” I was too young to know what exactly happened but I am quite sure there was a spat between my dad and the uncle who left this farm to the four of us.

“Yes, it actually is the first one with any side of the family. My dad has no siblings. But I do get all the hype around cousins only trips. It is really fun and you guys are great. She did tell me a little about you, but it was all about how she would always have the best stones or about Toby being bossy or about you snitching on Toby and complaining to his mom.”

“Oh common, I was a smol bean, I am all grown up now!” I say dismissing him.

“Guys, have you decided what you are going to do with it?”

Rhea turns around dramatically as she asks the question. I know she is the only with who has the balls to talk about how we are going to deal with it. She tried bringing it up a lot of times before, but we narrowly escaped it all the time. Today, there is no escape.

“Well actually I have decided something.” Toby says. His voice has a hint of confidence and a hint of guilt. He takes the blow, not me!

“I am going to make my part a small hotel, I guess? Or maybe one of those fancy ‘weekend homes’ kinda place. My chain is doing quite well now, might as well dive into the hospitality part of it. I will have to start somewhere at some point, so why not here? I have not worked out the details yet, but I am pretty sure it will be profitable. I mean look at this beauty!”

We all look out the windows. The place is till just as majestic it was to our tiny eyes.

“Jim?” Rhea asks me.

I don’t want to discuss it. I don’t want to be like my father, the one who drove everyone apart, but I have to tell them at some point.

“Oh… umm… Well, I’m planning to sell it off. I mean the entire fight did happen over that property, right. I want to bury the hatchet for once and for all. Plus, its good money. I have resigned, I have enough savings of my own to sustain myself and the I’ll get more once the property deal is finalized. I never really liked my job you know; it did pay well but I didn’t like it. So, know, I’ll buy my girl a ring, buy a new house and retire in style.”

There is some silence after it. It’s not an awkward one, we have grown close in this short time. The silence doesn’t bother us anymore. I think everyone is trying to process the information bomb that I dropped on them.

“Resign? Retire? How old are you? But anyways, I happy for you!” Toby is the first one to speak. I’m pretty sure he would have hugged me if he were not driving.

“Thanks a lot! But what about you, Rhea, Cullen?” I say trying to shed the limelight.

“I’ll be honest with you. After your dad and uncle Ed had a fight over the property, Uncle Mag and our mom drifted too. So, in a way, everyone was cut off from everyone….”

Uncle Ed and dad were twins. My dad was older to him by about five minutes and was the more outgoing one. He was always very protective of him. The fight that caused the giant rift was because of it too.

Uncle Ed inherited the cottage, while everyone received lesser things. Uncle Mag, being the oldest, succeeded grandpa in the business, auntie got the jewels and dad got the apartments. Uncle Ed wanted to further divide the entire property among all his siblings. He thought he was a bachelor so he didn’t need so much. My dad on the other hand thought Auntie and Uncle Mag were influencing him. My dad was alienated by everyone but Uncle Ed soon realized he was correct and called out Auntie and Uncle Mag.

“Our mom really thought she was the one who caused the rift only because she asked Uncle Mag to talk to Uncle Ed, she tried reaching out to Uncle Ed a number of times but he would avoid us. I know the cottage means a lot to her and she is sorry about what happened so I’m thinking about keeping my part with me, for mom. You guys can come visit anytime you want!” She spoke.

I noticed as we were nearing the cottage, Toby became quieter. I could see his eyes in the rear-view mirror. The were set on the road ahead, but I could see that they were lost in thought. His big green eyes looked lost.

“I have no clue about what I’m going to do with my share.” Cullen said as he as finally puts his laptop away.

Toby is still unsettled by something. I can see the confusion in his eyes.

“How did Uncle Ed die?” Toby finally speaks and raises a correct question. “I mean we did have his funeral abut two months ago but we rushed through it all. And the will…? I mean why did they recover it so late? And nobody knows for sure where and what and how much of the land we will be getting. I don’t- “

“I completely agree. I mean I have no sentiments attached to the property at all but I m a bit concerned about the legal procedure of it all. “Cullen chimes in. I find it a little funny. His sister is a lawyer, specializing in inheritance and it is weird that they are the ones who –

“And you guys have planned as if you know about it all. Its almost as if you are happy that he died. So happy, that I think you may have plotted it.” Rhea says. Her voice is surprisingly very strong. The words slipped off of her tongue as if she had been practicing it.

“That is preposterous, Rhea! Why would you say that I- “Toby is clearly enraged he is trying his best to not yell at her.

“Oh please, you and your dad were the last ones to come at the funeral.” Rhea is trying for a very low blow.” You guys came in after the service. You were there just to show your insincere, conniving faces. I mean even his parents- “

“What about my parents, huh? I mean you just said that your mom was responsible for it all right.” I couldn’t keep quite anymore. As Rhea spoke, I could see her intentions all the more clearly. Your mom was the first one to find out about the death, your mom wanted the cottage initially and you plan on keeping it. I mean if anything- “

“Did you just accuse my mother of plotting his murder?” Rhea yells at me. I can see the rage in her eyes and I quite enjoy it. I sense that she did not expect us to fight back and she is clearly annoyed by it.

“I had a hunch since the beginning but now its clear. You were the first ones to get to know everything. You were the ones crying their eyes out at the funeral. You were the ones that called us up to tell us about the will. You guys were the ones who wanted us to be here. And the best part, the funniest of it all is that the lawyer works in your firm. You guys are- “Toby was surprising calm at this point. It was almost as if he saw it coming. Rhea’s phone rings. I glance at her screen and it the lawyer who is dealing with the will.

“Great! Even the lawyer is in on this. What is his cut? Are we going to divide it into five parts?” I could not believe the words were coming out of me. “Toby and I came in here with hopes. And you guys just walked in casually. I mean he came here just for the food! I mean I would not be surprised if we- “

“Hey, Jim, stop it. There’s not point arguing. They are a bunch of backstabbers, leave it at that. We can mend our sides, right?” Toby is speaking to me. He tries searching for my eyes in the rear-view mirror.

“Don’t you call us- “Cullen is speaking for the first time since the argument started.

“You can join my own business if you like” Toby is speaking over Cullen.  “Not grandad’s but mine. I get along ell with you, I like you, I want to mend things now. I’m exhausted by it all. I just want it to end.” Toby says it with such conviction that I sense he is involved with them too. But his disgust for them is real but I don’t want to take any chances and be fooled by it

“I don’t want to talk about it now.” I say and we stop.

I cannot believe this happened. I thought we were going to fix things, but we just broke them beyond repair.