A forgotten letter.

Taking the jhalmuri (spicy puffed rice) in her hand, she crossed the road again and sat on one of the benches. The crispy and spicy puffed rice aroused her taste buds. She couldn't explain how mesmerized she was after having it almost 5months. She sat there and enjoyed the view of hundreds of cars and buses stuck in traffic and honking at each other aimlessly; as if chaos is the only thing she missed and it filled her heart with joy after all the time she spent at the hospital. 

In 10mins after she had finished it all, she was shaking the paper vigorously as if some puffed rice would magically appear. All of a sudden, her eyes were caught by the beautiful handwriting on the paper. She opened it slowly, keeping in mind that it was moist and likely to tear off. Some words were blurry but she could well figure that it wasn't a piece of newspaper but a letter. 

“Dearest A” it read at the header and the writer hadn't left his/her name. She read further,

“Happy anniversary, my love! Nah, I'm not suffering from amnesia, I very well remember that our anniversary is on 17th December which is still almost 3months to arrive but today is our “prothom-dekha” anniversary, the first time I laid eyes on you. Today is 23rd September; the day everything changed. Six years ago today I saw you for the 1st time at College Street; you, in white kurta and blue jeans, were hovering over a bookstall and I was coming out of the Coffeehouse with Sidhhartho and Smita. Then suddenly you looked at my direction and smiled. I couldn't believe my charm for a moment. My heart as if stopped at that second with everything around me, and I smiled back immediately. But soon I realised that it was Smita you were smiling at. It was utterly embarrassing! 

Although after 3mnths, you had to come around. The poem I found inside my favourite novel “Pather panchali”, I knew it was you. Always loved those secret letters from you. Anyway, those three months were the hardest. I got so close to you yet so distant. You were Smita's childhood friend who she always had a crush on. You guys were so close that I thought maybe you were into her too. Man, that was a bummer! Everytime we used to hang out together, everytime you came to our college to pick Smita up, I literally thought I had no chance with you but how could I explain that to myself! Everyday as I intended to diminish my feelings for you, it grew stronger. I wanted to be a good friend to Smita and stay out of her territory but then again I wanted you so much, you were a magnet pulling me towards you. And how could I resist that? That mole right under your lips, that crooked teeth, those loosely hanging specs; your imperfections made sense to me. You were the blank verse poetry that needed no rhyming. Even today you're my favourite poetry, even when you're gone. I can't believe it's been 3years 2months and 16days already. I still can't believe how it could happen! I was right there at the" 

Nishi turned the page in haste and began reading again. 

"station waiting for you. But you never came. I remember seeing our train leave the station. I waited four hours and you still didn't come. The first hour, I was furious. I thought you were late as always and anyway I reached twenty minutes early as always. The second hour, my heart started to sink in. I grew doubtful but I knew you could never do that to me. You loved me more than I loved myself. Then I saw the train leave the station and you still hadn't arrived and you being you, never pick up your phone at any emergency! At the third hour, the air around me started to settle, I was getting panic attacks, I was breaking inside but still I was hopeful. By the fourth hour, it was all over. I had stopped calling you by then and I couldn't move my legs. Nothing mattered anymore. 

Then slowly I picked myself up and dragged myself to the house I left a letter to. The house of horrors. My parents were dead scared to see me, standing at the door with a suitcase, with a straight face. They hadn't read the note yet. When I told them everything, my mother burst into tears and my father was as if helpless. For a few days after that they kept me in house arrest. I've never been so lonely in my life and the pain ate me alive. After three days my parents came to me and I was unapologetic about the whole thing. I knew they weren't gonna let me marry you. I was expecting a fight but instead what they told me was more devastating. They told me that you are not real, that you never were. It was hilarious! I laughed at them but they kept on saying that you were just in my head, that you're just my imagination. Can you believe that? They tried to make me believe that I was crazy!  Maa said that even Smita denied the fact that she ever knew you. I was in awe. I know my parents were just trying to make me forget you but Smitha; I was taken aback. That evening my parents took me to a doctor who asked me a few bogus questions and then spoke to my parents for a while and then told me that I've delusional disorder, a psychosis! He said that you're a fragment of my imagination, that I wrote all those secret letters to myself. I didn't say anything as I knew that my parents are doing all these to just keep me away from you. I knew you were out there, somewhere. I knew my parents got to you first and took you away from me. But I love you all the same, as I did. I knew you'd come back someday. I still do.

I came back home from the mental institution today as everyone thinks that I'm "cured", whatever that means, and I packed my bags as soon as I reached. I'm going to be there at the station tomorrow at 5am, okay? Be there. Can't wait to see you."

Nishi's heart was beating faster. She knew that this girl somewhere is terribly sick and on the verge of making a huge mistake without having any knowledge of it, or has she already done it? She couldn't tell, yet was utterly disturbed. She kept the letter in her pocket and left for home. The house of horrors.