Who wants who dead?

How can I keep on breathing when all I can concentrate on is not being able to breathe? The rope around my neck tightens. Its rough material peels the skin off my neck. I try to reach her head or any part of her body, just to catch a bit more breath. I cannot reach the candle that I hit the other one with. I can hear her groaning. She is tired as well. My senses grow weaker. If I do not do something, I won't see another day. 

I remember the small staircase with a tangible height. It is right behind her. She is probably not thinking of that now. I have the leverage to push her back. With all my strength, I push back. Rapidly. A mix of a groan and a shriek. I feel the rope around my neck loosen. I can breathe again. I turn around. She is already on her feet. Staring me down. I get up. I throw the rope away. She lunges towards me. Her nails in my face. I bite her wrist. She screams. Nonetheless, she keeps pushing my head back. Somehow I manage to hit her in the stomach. Now, I lunge toward her. I'm on top of her. I put my hands around her neck. 

“Guards!!!” I scream with all the life left in me. I know it's probably worthless to do so. If they got to this point, the guards must be dead.

“Guar–” Hands on my face. The other one got up. I fight back. She takes my long hair and wraps it around my neck. She tightens it. It hurts to have my hair pulled, but it also hurts to again go without breath. The two of them, young and healthy, push me to the ground. My chest on the ground, and now I feel a knee pressing against my back. Perfect leverage. My own hair the murder weapon. The other one holds onto my legs. No escape. I try to take a hold of her. I fail. Everything fades out. 

***

Silence. I open my eyes. To my left, the face of my son. To the right, the face of my daughter. 

“Mother!” Nilufer kisses my hand, and Rustem my forehead. 

“What…” Pain in my neck and head. 

“Shhh” Nilufer keeps pressing my hand. 

“Mother, someone tried to take your life” My senses are slowly coming back to me. 

“Help me get up” The two of them help me. I smile at this scene. Both equally worried. I look around the room. I notice it's just the three of us. 

“Help me recollect what happened” 

They exchange looks. I still feel the sensation of that rough rope peeling off my skin. Creating that burning feeling. Even getting killed nowadays is not easy. I guess involuntary suicide is never easy. 

“Mother…” Nilufer starts.

“We believe someone from the palace tried to take your life” Nothing new. It's always someone from the palace. 

“Your two servants, the ones who tried to ki—” I panic. 

“You did not have them killed, did you?!” 

“No…” She answers calmly. 

“They are currently under interrogation. Kept in cells” 

I know how weak we all are. How badly everyone wants to get us killed. 

“Where are you keeping them?” 

“At Nilufer’s palace. I just came back from their cells” Rustem says assuringly. 

“What?!” I panic again. 

“Nilufer’s palace is almost half a day away” I protest. 

“Mother…” Rustem takes my hand. He sits next to me. His eyes tired. 

“We ARE in Nilufer’s palace” I look around. I realize that just now. 

How did they get this smart and resourceful this fast? 

“We had to take you here. You were not safe in the main one anymore. When I arrived at your chambers, I expected to find your guards dead. They were not there. Everyone was involved in this plot. It probably took them weeks, or even months to set this up. To make your most loyal servants turn their back on you” I sigh. I stopped counting the murder attempts years ago. 

“What happened? How am I still alive?” 

“You were supposed to come over to my palace for dinner. You are never late. I realized something is wrong. I sent a messenger to the main palace. Luckily, with Rustem there, he immediately went to your chambers” 

“I entered the room to find them holding you to the ground. I and a few guards restrained them. We put bags over their heads, and they were immediately taken to Nilufer” I smile at the two of them. 

“Come over” We hug. 

***

Before I can eat or drink, someone has to eat or drink it before me. I have not left Nilufer’s palace in over two weeks. Everyone is a suspect. Anyone who comes near my chambers is thoroughly checked and immediately a suspect. 

The two of them carefully watch over me. Whenever one of them has to leave, I am suffocated with uncertainty and fear. The two girls, my former housemaids, have given us a name. Some merchant. Even if he exists, he is just another pawn in someone’s game. 

Nilufer and I take a walk through her garden. Light rain. She tells me of everything the garden contains. Still, I cannot take my mind off revenge. I plot. Each hour and day I plot. I have a few suspects on my mind. I know I have to be patient. 

Nilufer has appointed more guards. A guard at each gate entrance, and at each palace entrance. 

Guards in front of us, and guards behind us. I have not been alone for one moment. Even when I take a bath, there is a guard with his back turned to me. 

The guard from the top of the palace waves a flag. Instead of the horn, we work on not alarming the enemy. Instead, we want captives. We want to get to the bottom of the plot.

The guards immediately form a defensive circle around us. I hold my breath. 

Neighing of horses in the distance. The flag is removed. The guards break the circle. Rustem is back. 

He gets off his horse. Tired. Behind him, they drag a man with a bag on his face. 

Smiles to me. Kisses my hand. 

“We found the merchant, mother” 

I nod to one of the guards to take off the bag. As I thought. I have never seen this person before. His eyes covered. I nod again. They take him away.

“We will interrogate him until we get a name. We are slowly getting to the bottom of all of this. Trust me” I press his hand. He goes away.

***

Cold in the cell. Better yet, in the underground. I have been standing in this corner for the entire evening. Maybe we are already deep in the night. They have been beating him up for hours. I ask him the same questions all over again Who sent you?; Who told you to send the girls to the palace?; If you give us a name, we will spare your life.

We will most definitely not spare his life. 

I do not tire of being stubborn. We have to get to the bottom of this. My mother is my strongest ally. Strongest and most vocal supporter of my claim to the throne. I have to keep her safe if I want to keep myself safe. 

***

Even though he is not the son of my father, he is his grandson. He does pose a claim to the throne. Maybe not as strong of a claim as Rustem, but there is much of my father in my son Osman. Unmistakable similarities in his way of words or how he wields the sword. I have to keep him safe at all costs. 

She does not have an appetite. Neither would I if there was always someone in this infinite empire who wants me dead. She would never support Osman's claim to the throne. She loves Rustem way too much. Whoever ascends, has the duty to execute all of his male relatives. Anyone who has the potential to gather an army, create a civil war, and bring this empire to ruin. Almost a moral duty. I have to keep Osman safe. 

***

I climb the staircase. I am starving. Torches light my way. 

I knock on the doors. Mother and Nilufer still awake. Drinking and biting on sweets in silence. They bring me food. Osman comes in to wish us a good night. Tall as me. Will be taller in a matter of weeks. Walks like father. I observe Nilufer as mother hugs Osman. Proud. I would not be surprised if it is actually her who plotted all of this. To put him on the throne. I look down at my food. I have already finished half of my plate, and I feel dumb for thinking of this now. I will not ascend that throne if my urges continue to get the better of me. 

***

I notice that he stopped eating. Thoughtful. If he is fearful about the food he eats in my palace, that means that Osman does have a strong claim to the throne. Even a stronger one than I thought. 

Osman kisses his hand. He gets up to hug him. Tall as Rustem. Will be taller than him soon. He looks back at me. I know what he is thinking. I shall not leave Osman ever alone with him.

*** 

I give them my goodbyes as I head back to the cell. One last time, I look back to Nilufer. I find her thoughtfully staring at my half-finished plate.

To the underground. I start the descent. I keep thinking of Osman. I have to do something until he becomes an actual threat. I stop. I signal the guards behind me to stop. At the bottom of the staircase, I see a play of shadows. Did our merchant have a visit?

Slowly, I continue descending. The cells are too small and narrow for swords, therefore I will not even have the space to take out my sword. I hold onto my dagger. The sounds get louder. 

The shadows stop. Carefully, I take a step forward. I peek into the cell. The merchant's throat cut open. There is still some hope if I catch his murderer. 

I get into the cell. One torch. I can't see well. A sound. I turn around just in the moment to dodge the dagger. A mask on his face.

He lunges at me again. I swiftly dodge his attack and push him to my left. He hits the wall. He is swift. I can block his attacks. As he holds onto my dagger hand, I headbutt him. He stumbles back to the wall. I take his dagger away. I push him to the ground. Swiftly, I pierce my dagger through his hand. “Who sent you?!!” I headbutt him again. I take off his mask. I have never seen this person before. 

Another one enters the cell. This cell is too small for the three of us. My guards dead. We trample over the dead merchant’s body. 

***

I wonder where did they get this wine from. Mother keeps on drinking. I stopped since Rustem left. I have to keep my senses. 

Noises in front of the doors. Rustem stumbles in all cut and bloody. He falls to his knees. 

***

I scream at the sight of him. I rush to help him. I see Nilufer’s short-lasting look of hope. Not shocked at all. Does she want him dead?

***

They almost got to me. I look at Nilufer. She immediately calls the healers. Everything fades out. 

***

I'm in bed.

“They killed the merchant, then they almost killed me. But, you cannot get rid of me that easily” I laugh. “Look, I found something” From my pocket, I take out the signet ring. 

“Mother… Why does the Sultan want you dead?” 

Mother is of course, shocked. I look to Nilufer. Her eyes twinkle in victory and hope. A faint smile on her face. The sultan on her side. 

*** 

Father is on my side. From now, you should be scared of the food you eat, Rustem. 

***