Smile For the Camera

Poem's Title: A Thing of Beauty

By: Emery Gomez

A Thing of Beauty

that he was, made

of haunted past and

sympathetic hugs.

He recognized her

beauty and ignored

the village files.

He made her soften

with one of his smiles.

Power coursed in her

blood, so much

she could bathe in a flood.

Every night he stole

a scale and lured

her in deeper.

He saw value in every

inch of her,

she saw salvation whenever

he was near.

But salvation has it's price

and she was the

perfect sacrifice.

Fiery scales and emerald eyes

scorching breath and deafening sighs

A thing of beauty,

that she was.

Additional Attachment; PDF, 'Pic of my Salvation and the dragon'.

...

Imagine this; your favorite millionaire, just two years your senior, sets up a competition.

The millionaire who is only two years your senior- and you admit to having dreams of marrying him and basking in his wealth and love.

And as it so happens you have a gift for poetry- and the competition? It's a poetry competition!

How fortunate.

You submit it, knowing that the chances of you being noticed from the million of applications is slim to none but thinking what the heck?

It's a fun risk.

So...you do it.

And you win.

Then you switch schools to be part of a reality tv show.

Then you say, "Yes, the poem was inspired by a romantic experience"

I can imagine George's face- blank and expressionless. And then he'd crumble because unlike me he was always very sensitive.

George was my only actual romantic experience besides… 

The audience cooed and for a moment I didn't want to admit the truth, but I opened my mouth to do it anyway.

Because George is sensitive and would take it badly. That was me, Emery Gomez- an embarrassment to the human race.

"Actually, I think there is a misunderstanding here."

Nadia raises her eyebrows, and leans forward slightly.

The audience 'ooh's' in interest.

I was the 'sweetheart' of Hollywood. The audience pleaser- maybe because of how clumsy I was. People like to see others embarrass themselves.

Whatever it is- there had been no terrible articles degrading my character. Not yet.

Just my 'plain Jane' looks.

"What is the misunderstanding?"

I shift in my seat, "I did not model the poem after my ex- my friend's ex actually."

I smile sheepishly.

Fun fact #1: I smiled a lot- when I was happy. When I was delirious. When I was nervous, especially then. When I was sad. Laugh too. I laugh a lot- for me there are only two ways to get rid of tension in your body, to laugh or cry. I prefer the former.

The whole Lawson family were packed into the three couches. 2 sons, 4 daughters and 2 insanely rich parents.

When I first met them, they were a little stiff. A little snobbish- but they tried. And so...I tried too. It took weeks but we finally got along. And I like to think that they were fond of me. 

At least a little.

And now....my last television appearance, the recap. After 6 months of close quarters. Of sharing a roof. Running with socks on the wooden floors, making faces at the camera and sneaking away. It'll all come to an end.

I guess- i'm missing one of the most vital points. Tonight, Nicholas and I are going to announce our 'break up'.

"What's this family meeting for and why am I invited?" I ask as I follow a 12 year old girl named Sunny Lawson down the very wide hallway and into a very large room.

Where the whole gang was gathered. Both Lawson parents dressed as if ready to be bombarded by paparazzi. Noel Lawson- who insists I call her Noel to which I refuse, and her husband James Lawson. James Lawson inherited his money while Noel was a successful family lawyer.

Not that Mr. Lawson is a slacker in the accomplishments area. No, he was a very well- known anthropologist before he got married and is known for his heavy donations to museums world-wide. So...yeah a rich history buff.

Here's the schmiel.

Oldest Charles- 17, stern faced and green eyed and dark haired.

Nicholas- 17, super good looking too. Same hair and eyes, a paradox.

(I loved him the longest. All girls love the charming funny boys. It's impossible not to love the boy that makes you smile so hard it hurts.)

Then there's Rachel- 15, my age, blonde and brown eyed. Also beautiful. A snob but you get used to it.

Sunny- 12, Gloomier than Charles. So ironic so I call her 'sunshine' or 'angel', (something Sunny's emo 12 year old skinny ass can't handle) 

Reagan was the second youngest (8), And Brianna is the youngest (4)

Reagan seemed to be eternally upset with Brianna for usurping her role as the baby of the house.

Brianna was loveable if not also spoiled rotten but that was part of her 4-year old charm. She'll outgrow it as Sunny and Rachel did...hopefully.

Everyone was here.

"You're invited because it involves you, genius."

"Hey.... I thought we agreed on no name-calling, Sunshine."

"That's not even- oh. Hey Mom! Daddy!" She rushes forward and crushes her parents in a hug. I wave awkwardly and amble to sit next to Reagan who was glaring at Brianna. I sit in between them, both of them curling to my side.

I face the Lawsons.

They all had their eyes on me.

My eyes meet his.

My cheeks betray me, flushing I slide my eyes from him to the adults "Is there something on my face?"

"Yes," Mrs. Lawson admits "but that's not why we're staring at you."

I rub the charcoal off my cheek, "Cool. So..."

"We're here to discuss the show and it's profits. You know why we're doing this ridiculous show competition, right??"

"Yes because if 'Living with the Lawsons' gets the most subscribers and funds then you'll get invited to some monarchs place which could fufill you're anthropology fantasies ."

Mr. Lawson opens his mouth as if to protest but is quickly steamrolled by his wife "Right! And you're-" she points a finger at me "super loveable so we got quite an amount of viewers".

I blush.

"But we need something to really lock us down for the win. We neeeeeeed.... something!"

I tilt my head, "Should I dye my hair and get outrageous tattoos? I'd do it but my mom does have the right to kill me before turn 18-"

"No," she waves her hand "we're just here to brainstorm."

Satisfied, I lean back "So what do I do?"

It was Charles who spoke up, "Everyone placed an idea- they're all terrible."

“I wanted to have a puppy party in the pool house but mom said no.” Reagan pouted.

Clearing his throat Chales says, “Like I said, no good ideas.”

He looked too suave, so to ruffle his feathers I say "You know Charlie Boo- I threw the biggest fit when I found out you were dating Celia my 8th grade year."

"..."

"If you were to go on a date- with anyone really-"

"Eh...no?"

I sit upright, "Why not? I stalked your social media like crazy looking for news about your relationship! You guys were my OTP after I got over myself. I mean it."

"No- you do it."

"No one cares who I date."

Rachel snickers, "I can think-"

"Wait!" Nicholas perks in his seat, looking right at me "Let's fake date. Slow burn- you know. Romance blooming on screen."

"Y-you? A-and...me?" I squeaked. Dignity lost. Why was I stuttering like a, no offense Sunny, 12 year old girl? "Y-you don't mind?"

He leans back, "I could think of worse people to date."

I scowl "Very charming."

Ms. Lawson looked pleased and she wrote down on the whiteboard what Rachel insists is the best patterns.

Teasing.

Compliments.

And more....

"Sound cool?" Mrs. Lawson asked me with wide hopeful eyes not even bothering to ask her own son. Though it is his idea...

I kept sneaking looks at Nicholas- soon to be called Legolas, because he really did remind me of him- and all I could think was.... this is going to hurt when it's over.

"Yes. Sounds cool."

Nadia smiles and for a second I see that shark-like hunger that made her such a hard hitting journalist, “Emery, you have caught fans eyes across the nation but I must say some of the fanfare is focused on the fact that you are dating our very own Prince Charming- Nicholas!”

I open my mouth to inform her but it’s too late, Nadia was smiling at the camera on LIVE saying “Let’s look at the couple’s most memorable moments!”

About to watch the screen. My eyes catch on a green gaze, latched on me. I mouth to him, ‘After’.

His smile warps but my attention was already on the screen. I regret it almost instantly, on the big screen was a picture of us looking at each other at our first meeting.

My cheeks won’t stop burning. Maybe it’d stop if he wasn't so handsome- gosh. My body was vibrating with the repressed need to shriek and bounce because my childhood crush of 6 years- okay it was on and off- was looking right at me. 

I beamed up at him, “Hey, I’m glad you chose my poem.”

“It was a good poem," he shrugs.   

I expected the cool behavior from Charles, not charismatic Nicholas. I laugh lightly, hiding my surprise, “Be honest- you just have a thing for dragons.”

He blinks at me, like I surprised him and he tilts his head and laughs, “You caught me- I really like dragons.”

The picture captures him with his head tilted, eyebrows peaked up and face in a smile. I was looking up at him, openly laughing.  

“When they first met,” Nadia narrates “everyone thought it’d be platonic. I mean it was obvious that our dear Emery was a little star-struck” -I should look into acting- “but that was it. America’s famous flirt wasn’t dropping any lines” Nadia smirks “maybe that should have been our first hint.”

My smile bunches to the side of my face. 

He didn’t flirt cuz he wasn’t interested! Was he supposed to flirt with everyone so that no one thought he had the hots for them?

The next pic goes up, a family dinner, two weeks into the reality tv show.

I shift in my seat, sitting between Rachel and Sunny. Across from the boys with the adults at the end of the table. Brianna between them. In the middle of feeding Brianna, Mrs. Lawson speaks up, “To be honest I was really afraid we’d get some brat” 

“Uh...Pardon?  

“She is so polite,” Mrs. Lawson comments to her husband “I love it. And.. I dunno, I thought you’d be some spunky girl who thought her talent for poetry and drawing would make up for her lack of manners and character. But you’re cool- sweet and polite but you don’t take no bulls-”

“Bullshark- she was going to say bullshark” Mr. Lawson interrupts shooting her an exasperated look. 

“Right,” Mrs. Lawson simpers and turns back to me “I’m glad you’re fun and adorable and not some angsty teen with an attitude problem. Upstanding yet...civil. A dangerous combo really.”

“Aww,” I laugh to repress the urge to squeal because the scary lawyer lady likes me “you clearly haven’t spent enough time with me.”

The pic shows all of the kids laughing at what I said...but not Nicholas. Nicholas was looking right at me.

I didn’t notice that he was looking at me. But he must’ve been- I mean, there's photographic evidence. 

“And look at his face- what a smitten kitten.”

I was smiling and laughing, at those pictures, like they weren’t a big deal. But it was… because here’s proof to a relationship that was never real. But these pictures were taken before we decided to fake date- before everything.

And on it went, more pictures. More photographic evidence of feelings that may or may not be true. Nicholas was smiling but he was also bobbing his knee like he wanted to run.

Eventually the pictures stopped. 

Nadia turned to us for a comment, to say something. And I looked at Nicholas- begging with my eyes for him to be the one to say this. But he was determinedly looking at his hands. My panicked gaze flickered to the rest of the family who looked passive, it was clear no one else was going to say it.

Jerks.

I’ll have to do it- at least to put Nicolas out of his suffering.

“Nicholas and I broke up.”

Is it possible for 200 people, not including the backstage crew, to gasp at the same time.

I laugh.

“Just long distance might put a strain on the relationship.” I clear my throat “we agreed to stay friends.” We did no such thing “But we think our relationship, platonic or romantic, would be healthier if we weren’t under the strain of maintaining a relationship.”

Nadia looked like I kicked her puppy.

“O-oh.”

I fan my face, then abruptly point at him “It was mutual! Don’t look at me like that!”

Nadia cracks a sad smile, “It’s just… you guys inspired me to believe in love.”

Love?!

Nicholas started hacking, choking on air and my eyes well up, “Omg, really?”

She nods.

God, why do I feel awful?

I didn’t do anything wrong!

“That’s awesome.”

“I want chocolate.” Nadia murmurs, “Jake!” she yells at her assistant “Bring some chocolate!”

“Can I have some?” I murmur.

She glares at me half-playfully half with real emotion, “Did you get your heart ripped out of your chest?”

Yes.

“I’m leaving behind good friends” I offer instead.

We wrap up the show, lamenting the failed relationship, going through the seasons’ funniest moments. I feel another stab of sadness. I’m going to miss this family. Yes, they were a bit self-centered and vain and they were really intimidating at first. But they were good people I've grown to love, one boy differently than the others.

He doesn't see me off.

With a wave to the flashing cameras and (most of) the Lawsons, I flash my largest smile yet. Then I leave. 

The flight made everything seem real- there’s no way I wasn’t going to cry, I knew that…. So I planned ahead.

I put on a sad movie- so later when a lady asks me if i’m alright I say “Oh yeah, it's just I haven’t seen this movie before and I wasn't ready for his death.”

The lady smiles in acceptance and moves on with her life. 

She does that in the span of a minute.

...

His name is everywhere- I need space.

So I take a long walk- away from school, away from everything. With my sketchpad I draw a little bit of everything.

Then I draw myself- at least I try, I can’t. Every time I start to draw my own face another face pops into mind and instead of drawing the curve of my cheek I draw the angle of his. And when I try to shape my eyes it’s his that comes out.  

How infuriating.

I might as well get it out of my system, so I draw him. Every single detail accounted for. The mole a couple spaces above his jaw, the knot at the top of his nose. The wave of his hair and the complexity of his eyes. 

Then out of spite I draw a mustache and an eye-patch with Sharpie. Then I draw an X over the page.

I was angry- I rarely get angry but I was angry now. I was angry that he didn’t see me off, I was angry that he had the whole stupid idea in the first place, I was angry that I had no valid reason to be angry because he didn’t do anything wrong.

“Screw you,” I whisper at the pirate drawing of the love of my life.

“And here I thought you’d miss me.”

I recognized his voice immediately. How could I not?

Slowly, I turn to face him “Legolas.”

“I have a confession to make,” he admits- looking rumpled and tired, but his eyes were alert and the rose in his hand looked fresh like it was just recently bought.

The birds chipped somewhere in the background and the sunlight had been hindered by the sun so shadows played across his face. The trail and general vicinity I was in was empty, despite this he wore a cap clumsily on his head in a failed attempt to hide his very handsome face.   

“How did you find me?”

He smiles, “If I tell you you’ll think i’m creepy.”

I fight a grin but I immediately wish I didn’t when a small sob escaped my lips, he immediately moves forward but I shove him away. Finger shaking I muster up as much steel as possible and say “Sit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for? Not returning my calls? Avoiding the family face calls? Or maybe, I don't know” I sniff “NOT SEEING ME OFF?”

“All of the above?” His face was earnest, “I’m so so sorry, please don’t hate me.” I stare at him, “I brought food.”

I blew my nose on the napkin he offered and wafted the air, “That better be an apology pizza I'm smelling and not some lame normal pizza.”

He smiles at me, “Can we talk?”

Using his napkin to clean my face I made the decision- on whether or not to let him back into my life.

“If we eat first.”

What happens next is private- but the next week the news was streaming about ‘the OTP of the season, Emicholas’ getting back together.