Loneliness

He doesn't particularly fit in.

Not in school, not at home, perhaps not even in this world.

He identifies with loneliness, with the darkness. He sits alone on a hill, basking in the upcoming darkness of twilight.

The sun has set; the light diminishing just as darkness begins to hit. The two are independent forces, collapsing and embracing around the boy. Such is the nature of twilight.

It's an interesting time, twilight. The in-between of light and dark. He fits in here; a place where nothing fits in. Whether it's a time or a place... he doesn't know. In a way, he doesn't need to.

The air swirls around him, like a cocoon of comfort. Almost... motherly in nature. It wraps him up and ties him down, seemingly protecting him from the world.

Although he's alone, he doesn't feel it; the warm air around him and the soothing sounds of nature are more than enough. He's willing to be alone to experience this kind of phenomenon, this kind of comfort.

It's another predicament of trying to 'fit in'.

Someone lies behind a tree on that same hill.

Leaning against a tree, they're exhausted by the weight of life on them.

They're broken, hurt by the pressure of family. They would rather not have a family than have one like this. 

They envy the boy on the hill, envy the calm expression on his face, envy his ability to feel so comforted despite being alone.

This feeling... composed of raw jealousy. 

This boy has no one, yet manages to be happier than anyone they have ever seen. He looks so blissful, that boy. He does not smile, but he does not need to. His loneliness does not seem to overtake him as it does to them.

That's how it seems, anyway. They do not know. 

As twilight approaches and the sun wanes, they let their senses take over. Forgetting about the bruises on their face and the cut on their cheek, forgetting about both their physical and mental pain.

They look behind the tree and see the boy, but turn back after realizing their emotions are growing more and more corrupt.

Their mind is twisting, morphing, leaning into one side of his consciousness while simultaneously silencing the other. It's a dangerous moment of their existence.

The thoughts take over as the sky continues to darken.

This boy... had nothing. Yet, everything.

They were always being compared to this boy, so lonely yet so handsome, so smart, a perfect prodigy in the eyes of their family.

As if they don't exist.

Sometimes they wish someone else could take over, sometimes they wish for the pain to end. Today, they discovered a solution.

No boy... no beatings.

No boy... no tears.

No boy... no blood and sweat and bruises and burns.

No boy... no pain.

And all of these realizations shared a common fact.

No boy. 

Everything would change if there was no boy.

They look behind again, fingers gripping their father's knife. 

Used so brutally on them, to be used so cleanly on the boy.

A cut for a cut, as they say.

They approach. Stealthily. The boy notices, but does not retaliate. He is ready for his time.

He is done with the exhausting life he must live. Living... should not be so lonely, he thinks. He's okay if this is the way to go.

He has seen them before. Around, being compared to him. He knew the jealousy would take over someday, and it seems today is that day.

He's glad to have a place in someone's mind, even if it is for the wrong reason. He's glad to be able to help them. 

He's never felt this way before; felt for someone else. It's a connection, a momentary lapse in the loneliness.

He's glad that he is not alone in his final moments.

They stand behind him now, at the ready. He knows. 

The two of them share a moment, a connection, without looks or judgement or comparison. A moment of appreciation, of care. Neither feel lonely in this moment; neither feel loneliness at all.

They share a moment as two people who do not feel as lonely.

The boy looks behind him and smiles. Giving appreciation. Giving consent.

It's his last smile, as well as his first.

They nod. They stab.

It's over. 

But, in reality, it's the beginning.

The boy is gone. They are not.

Looking for a feeling of relief, all they find is guilt. A little bit of empathy, perhaps.

The blood pools and they stroke the boy's hair as he goes. His eyes flutter, his face looking almost ethereal in the growing moonlight. His pupils fade, the blood runs dry, and they can feel his soul brushing over his own to head to the sky.

Perhaps it really is over.

They're ready to start over. But, they know someday a new boy will come along, and they do not want to repeat history.

Jealousy, empathy, kill.

Although they do not acknowledge the empathy.

They know the only way to end the inevitable cycle is to follow the boy. Perhaps they could know one another in another life. On the other side. 

Twilight is a magical time, after all.

At the end of twilight, they stab again.

In the morning, an innocent school teacher finds the bodies of two of her students. 

First and second.

She knew the ranks would divide them. Two lonely students who couldn't share their loneliness with one another. A flaw of the system, they say. Crazy kids, they say.

She disagrees. Lonely, she says.

A tear rolls down her cheek. So lonely.

She calls the police; the bodies are taken away.

Many years later, she returns to that same hill. At twilight, a pair of students arrive and joke around at the top of the hill. 

They're the first to come here after the deaths. They look as if they've been here before.

She smiles. She can feel their spirits.

History won't be repeated, she thinks.

They're not lonely anymore.