Go Ahead Ask Him Out/I Dare You

“Go ahead Sarah.  Ask him out.  I dare you,” said Rebecca. The other girls laughed and shook their heads yes. 

“I dare you too,” said Christina.

“Okay.  No big deal,” I replied.

Who the heck was I kidding?  This is a huge deal.  Huge deal.  My friends have no clue how shy I am in these situations and how bad my anxiety is ramping up.  Walking over to Mark, the cutest boy, my crush for the past two years, and asking him out...the thought alone makes me want to puke.  But do I show that to my friends.  No way.  They tease me enough as it is anytime he’s near us.  I mean what do I say?  I don’t want to sound dumb or stutter, which of course I would as soon as I got near him.  Shoot, knowing my luck, I’d probably trip over my own two feet walking over towards him.  

Mark is 6’2, one of the star basketball players on our school’s team and is all around a nice guy.  He’s not like some of the other athletes in our school, full of himself and thinking that we should feel honored that they are talking to us.  I’ve seen him help out other students when they struggle with classwork.  I know he tutors kids at the elementary school because I overheard him tell one of the other guys on the basketball team that he couldn’t hang with him after practice because the kids were waiting on him.  He’s got a great smile that lights up a room.  When he talks to you, he really talks to you and looks you directly in the eye and is interested in what you are saying.  It is like you are the only person in the room.  He really pays attention.

“Earth to Sarah. Hello? Girl, he’s walking away.  You missed your chance. Way to zone out and not do the dare,” Rebecca said.

“I’m not chickening out on the dare.  I’ll do it.  I’ll do it today”, I said.  

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” said Rebecca.  

“Same here,” said Christine and Allison.

“It will happen,” I said.

Goodness, why did I ever decide to participate in truth or dare?  I didn’t want to seem like I was too worried about what the dare would be.  I’m not a fan of that game.  Having anxiety and being shy aren’t great things to have in this situation.  I’m trying to work on calming myself down.  I keep saying to myself deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.  Eventually my breathing slows down as does my heart rate.  All I need to do is have a full out panic attack while I attempt to ask my crush out.  It’s not that big of a deal right?  What’s the worst that can happen?  Mark can say no, that’s the worse that can happen.  What on earth did I get myself into?

The rest of the morning and the beginning of my afternoon was spent thinking about this.  Thinking about what I would say.  Thinking about what could all go wrong.  I overthink everything and always think the worst.  I end up driving myself crazy.  I’m glad there were some tests for me to take in Math and Science today.   Thankfully, there were complex equations and formulas that I had to focus on.  So for a little while, asking Mark out wasn’t on my mind.  

As I walked into sixth period, which was HIstory, Mark ended up being on my mind.  Why, you may ask?  Well I forgot I had sixth period with him, as well as having it with Christina.  From her seat three rows over, she gave me that look.  You know the look.  The one that is well, when are you going to do it.  I shook my head, let out a loud sigh, and went to take my seat.  At least this class was going to be not too stressful, with the material we were learning at least.  It was a review day.  That meant that we all broke off into groups to be able to have a mock review with the entire class.  Wouldn’t you know it, Mark was in my group.

The review went well.  There was about ten minutes left in class and our teacher let us all talk quietly.  We were still in our groups and the other two kids took out their phones, put in their ear buds and listened to music.  

“So I think that we will do pretty decent on the test later this week”, said Mark.  “What do you think”?

“I agree.  Our group knew the material.  Don’t know about any of the other ones”, I said.  

Then the conversation stopped.  

Okay I thought, it’s now or never.  Get it over with.  Bite the bullet.

“Would you like to hang out sometime”?

“Who me”, said Mark?

“Yes, you”, I said.  

Oh no.  I shouldn’t have said anything.  He’s taking too long to answer.  All the reasons why he shouldn’t are going through his head.  He’s trying to figure out the best way to say no without sounding like a jerk.

“Sure”, he said. “I don’t know if you know this but I just got out of a relationship.  I’m not looking for anything like that right now.  I think you’re cool and pretty and we can hang out as friends right now if you’re okay with that’, Mark said with a smile.  How did I not notice his dimples until now?

“I’m totally okay with that”, I said while grinning from ear to ear.  

What was I worried about?  That wasn’t as bad as I had played it out in my head.  I had it played out that he would laugh and be disgusted that I asked.

After school, Rebecca and Christina found me in the library, working on a paper.  

“So”, Rebecca said, “What happened”?

“I asked him out,” I said.

“No way”!

Christina said “I saw it.  She did it during our groups in History class”.

“I’m surprised you had the guts to do it”, Rebecca said.

“I’m not turning down a dare I agreed to”, I said.