Waiting room

I had always wondered what life is like within the physical realm. Unfortunately, my questions were never answered. Faded memories swirled swiftly around my head, echoing at me and calling me to listen to them, to remember them. I couldn't. I was never sure why these memories wouldn't show themselves fully. I could bathe myself within the thought of them but I would never remember them. All that was held within my mind was a thick and twisted fog along with some laughter echoing around it. Gentle laugher, childlike even Did I have one? Well, I don't anymore. I'm dead. Rather forward, aren't I? I don't mean to be, I've just felt so alone within this world. Memories of my life have perished and all I know is that I didn't make it into Heaven nor Hell. I've been told by other roaming spirits that this is purgatory. Purgatory has become my own personal Hell though as what constantly lives in my mind is the fact I didn't live a good enough life to get into Heaven. My life wasn't bad enough to get into Hell, I just lived a meaningless life and now I'm here. Though there is a day where I can go to the physical realm, to explore and try and regain some of my memories. However, they allow us the day to be free only to judge us. My actions will determine if I go to Heaven or Hell. Life right now is just a waiting room, that's all it ever will be. 

Crisp and sharp wind filled my lungs at a rather rapid pace, it began to comfort me at this pace. The gentle blows of wind caressing my cheeks and filling me with a sense of feeling gave me hope. I held the air within me before promptly exhaling to attempt to relax my rather tense body.

Inhale, hold, exhale. 

The rhythmic breathing kept me focused, It allowed my mind to stay with me and not to linger and roam where it isn't welcome. I sat down upon an old seeming wooden bench. It was toned with a spiced honey shade which in turn gave me a warm shiver. Sitting here on this lone wooden and crooked bench allowed me to gaze upwards and truly immerse myself within my current surroundings. Soon, everything will violently differ as I roam among the physical realm with the little time I may be blessed with. Turning my head, I couldn't help but train my eyes upon the swirls of delicate sugared lilac before me, mixtures of stonewashed blue and collective coral interlaced. The view wasn't anything to die for, believe me. If anything it caused your mind to explore the life you may wish you had. It was an enemy, a torture method to punish my mind. I couldn't remember my life, why must it torment me like this?

Inhale, hold, exhale. 

"It's time." A deeper voice rang out causing me to stand and begin to walk. It was as if my body was on auto-pilot, I couldn't stop myself. My body knows its destination but my weak mind clung onto various imaginary worlds that would never be. "You have one day to do as you please within the physical realm." I continued to walk with my footsteps echoing into the endless swirling background, holding my breath as my eyes shut.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. 

A sweet cinnamon scent filled my Lungs, sharp yet so gentle against me. It felt warm as I inhaled it into my Lungs, no longer was the air crisp. Instead of fresh and crispy like air I was met with a warm glow of wind brushing against my face. It was a warm welcome I had long awaited. Shivers filled my body as my hazelnut eyes began to open to greet me with what I had longed for eternity. 

"Home." My voice cracked, filling the empty air as the golden moon lit above my head. It bathed the stone path within its warmth and comfort, glistening a sweet welcome with a melody I had missed. Stepping forward, I enjoyed the sound of people rustling about, crowds rushing to get toward different homes. It was rather busy for such a beautiful night, but it was Halloween night after all. Children's laughter echoed throughout the well-lit street, it almost sounded like a music box I felt I had heard all those years ago. Turning my gaze, I saw crowds of children and adults alike clinging to deep violet tubs with shimmering black handles, sweets filled to the brim. A series of 'trick or treat' yells rant throughout the street which were clearly filled with joy. My legs began to move, stepping forward against the moon-lit pavement with a smile sewn onto my lips. 

"You're Kai, aren't you?" That deep voice I remembered from earlier suddenly appeared beside me, causing me to turn and flinch a little at the sudden and rather intense voice. 

"Yes, I am." I paused, gazing at the figure beside me. "Who are you?" That simple question held so many answers and the answer this figure may hold really did intrigue me. 

"I'm surprised you don't remember me from your human life, Kai." The person paused, the black hood coating their face exposing the skelington that laid beneath. "I'm the reaper, from all of those stories you may have heard about death." I'm surprised I didn't guess, of course they are. Their face was a sunken skull and the colour of a porcelain doll. "I'm here to give you your final judgement, to help guide you through the physical realm." I couldn't help but just nod. There truly wasn't much to speak in response. It was the thought that terrified me though, not the Grim Reaper who towered beside me. Any other being would be quaking beneath his sight less gaze, but not me. The thought that wherever this reaper decides to send me will be my final home for eternity. Life is truly filled with tests, isn't it? "Let's continue, shall we?" The reaper beside me began to walk, his scathe dragging against the stone path and the sound dug against my ears. Whilst walking, I heard a series of Screams coming from a home and children rushing out with a series of sweets clutched within their hands. 

"The tales speak of you as a demon. Is that true?" My voice whispered out, the cold air seemed to greet it and envelope it into its grasp. It soon swirled away within short clouds of dragon's breath. 

"I am neither angel nor demon, Kai." A deep breath was heard, his ragged Cloak shaking in the wind. "I am simply here to judge your actions within the physical realm." They paused to turn to me. "It is up to you what you do with the time you have been gifted with." My heart began to pound rapidly against my chest, adrenaline filling my veins as I began to join the crowd of smiling faces. I'm finally back to my world, I'm alive again. All of this for a large price of eternity. 

The crowd surrounded me, homes either side of my body. Children were laughing and others were teasing their friends, scaring them for the satisfaction of sharp screams followed by a series of small Giggles. My eyes rolled around the crowd only to be drawn onto a man's face within the bustle of various people. He had a child in front of him that soon ran off toward a home with their other father, knocking on the strangers door. I knew him. Getting closer, I moved toward his face before my hand pressed against his shoulder. 

"You…" The man stood there, scrolling on his phone before taking photos of his husband and daughter taking as many sweets as possible. "You killed me." When my hand came into contact with his shoulder, I remember everything that happened. He didn't kill me purposely, he's my best friend. I remember that night, we were driving and of course the most obvious thing happened. We crashed. He survived, luckily. But it's not his fault in the end, the truck before us went over our lane. Drunk, of course. I moved back as I watched his family return to the safety of his arms, I was just an old friend lost within the whispers of history. I hold no anger toward him, but I long to live the life stolen from me. "I don't know anybody else here." Why I continued to speak to him I'm unsure, but It gave me a strong sense of comfort. "I'll stay with you." For the rest of the night, I began to follow him around. Watching his child laugh, watching them create thousands of clear memories to look back on once this night ends. I was seething with jealousy, I longed for something more. Something like they have. I miss life, so dearly. Rapidly, the night grew darker and clouds muffled the moon's alluring voice that seemed to soothe me within the dream I've longed for. My old best friend and his family soon left the town square, returning to their own home and the once bustling streets were now drained of any kind of life. 

"We have made our decision, Kai." My eyes lit up, turning toward the reaper who stood before me. Before I knew it, the once moon-lit path I had grown to love within the short time I lived had vanished, and it was replaced by a marvel white flooring. Those swirls I had grown to detest had returned once again. "You will remain here until Halloween returns." I couldn't help but snarl at those words, turning back to walk toward the bench I sat on before. 

"I did no bad, why can't I go elsewhere?" They shook their head, ruffled black fabric revealing that familiar skull.

"You did no good either." Those words hurt, I did it again. I lived a plain day when I had the chance to live. "All you did was bathe within your own jealousy like the moon bathes within its own light." With those broken words, they left and I sat back where I belonged. Now it will begin again. I'm trapped. 

Faded memories swirled swiftly around my head, echoing at me and calling me to listen to them, to remember them. I couldn't. I was never sure why these memories wouldn't show themselves fully. All that was held within my mind was a thick and twisted fog along with some laughter echoing around it. Gentle laugher, childlike even Did I have one? Well, I don't anymore. I'm dead. I don't remember how I got here either… 

Inhale, hold, exhale. 

Life right now is just a waiting room, that's all it ever will be.