Becoming Lily

Becoming Lily

Chapter 1: The Platform

Lily stood on the cold, graffiti-covered subway platform, a large suitcase in one hand and a stiff coffee in the other. She checked and double-checked the arrival time on the screen, fighting the persistent urge to turn around, run back up the stairs, and take a right — straight into her old life. Or… she could hop on the train toward an unknown future.

It was 10:02 a.m., and Lilly’s train was due at 10:14. The platform was surprisingly quiet. Maybe people were still working from home, or maybe she’d just missed the chaos of the morning rush.

“Snap out of it. Think!” she whispered to herself.

Lily had sworn this year would be different — her year. She made that declaration standing in the freezing cold at midnight on New Year’s Eve, watching the ball drop at Times Square. She had gone with Sahil, the guy she was seeing at the time. He had everything she was wanted — or at least everything her family wanted: same background, respectable family, a dentist, and a dog lover. What more could a girl ask for? Lily was more of a cat lady!

They had met through a mutual connection — an older family friend determined to help Lily “find the one.” Sahil was kind, gentle, and a good listener. He checked every box. And yet… something felt off.

Their first date — a very coordinated coffee shop meetup in Brooklyn — was arranged after Sahil WhatsApped her, no doubt encouraged by his mother.

Ugh, I better go, Lilly had thought, or Aunty Raj will tell Mum, who’ll tell Abu, and then Abu will call a full family meeting to discuss all my failures.

She agreed. And she’d never forget his first question:

“Are you a good cook?”

Lilly’s eyes had rolled so far back she was amazed her head stayed on.

“Erm… I could ask you the same thing,” she snapped.

“Fair point,” he smiled. “Yes, I can cook. But honestly, it’s just so nice to come home after work to a warm meal someone else has made.”

Rolls eyes again.

“Oh, isn’t it just,” Lilly muttered, sipping her tea and silently praying this date would go absolutely nowhere.

Chapter 2: Boiling Point

That night, Lilly’s mother had asked the much-awaited question:

“So? Are you going to tell me how the date went?”

“It wasn’t a date, Mum. He asked if I knew how to cook.”

“Well, that’s a fair question! Did you tell him you make the best chicken biryani and aloo gobi? That you can make round roti? And on Sundays, even aloo paratha!”

“No, Mum. I was too busy plotting my escape. I thought about throwing a plant pot at his head and climbing out the bathroom window.”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic. I’ve seen his photo. He looks perfectly fine. Did you ask him about his medicine degree?”

“He’s a dentist, Mum.”

“Still — he studied hard. Don’t be rude to your mother!”

Lilly excused herself, biting her tongue. Her mother thought that was rude, but she had no idea what Lilly really wanted to say — and probably couldn’t handle it if she did.

The truth? Lilly didn’t care whether Sahil was a dentist or a freelance photographer traveling the world. She just didn’t want to get married right now. She wanted more — a career where her work mattered, where she could make a difference. She wanted equality. She wanted partnership — not to be someone’s unpaid cook or maid.

Why is it still expected that women put themselves last? she thought bitterly as she headed upstairs to crash for the night. She full of rage and tossed and turned the entire night.

She did meet Sahil a few more times. They developed a pleasant, even warm friendship—but that was all it ever was, or could be. Lilly had to make sure her choices were respected. Even if it meant walking into what felt like a battlefield, armed only with her voice and her truth. But it was her life and her rules.

She finally slept.

Chapter 3: The Trigger

It was now 10:05 a.m. The train was nearly around the corner. And Lily still didn’t know what she was going to do.

Last night, her mother had suggested a more formal date with Sahil and his parents — despite Lilly’s clear resistance.

“Just do it for me. We’ll go to that new Italian place round the corner — I’ll even pay, for God’s sake.”

“Why don’t you ALL go — and I’ll pay!” Lily shot back.

They locked eyes, tension thick in the air. Lily didn’t blink.

Her mother’s final words rang in her ears:

“I expect you to be there. We’re doing this for your own good. You clearly aren’t capable of making important life decisions.”

Lily went upstairs, took out her phone.

Open Google.

One-way flights to Paris.

She waited for the spinning circle to load the page… and there it was. A list of outbound, one-way tickets.

Thank you, Air France. I think I’ll go with you.

Click. Click. Booked.

She was far too triggered this time and she knew she had to make it stop. This was not about Sahil, or marriage or her mother. It was about feeling completely lost and trapped and not knowing which way to turn towards safety. Was it safer to accept Sahil and accept her fate with him? Or was it safer to run?

Chapter 4: The Departure

As the train pulled into the platform at Penn Station, bound for LaGuardia Airport, Lily glanced down at her one battered suitcase — covered in “Bon Voyage” stickers, motivational slogans, and cats. Lots of cats.

Somewhere that doesn’t need a visa… and where I can speak the language. One out of two wasn’t bad.

She could stay. Meet Sahil for another stale date. Probably marry him eventually. Live close to his parents. Maybe teach at a local school — something convenient for his career. Fit in with his friends. Adopt his hobbies — like running.

Which, ironically, made Lily feel like… running.

Or… she could hop on the train.

And that’s exactly what she did.

Because if not now, then when?

Chapter 5: The Becoming

Lily closed her eyes and said Bismillah as she landed on fresh earth, Charles de Gaulle Airport.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Air France welcomes you to Paris. The local time is 9:45pm. For your safety and the safety of those around you, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened and keep the aisle clear until we are parked at the gate.

Lily gasped, opened her eyes, and glanced around. Everyone else seemed perfectly at ease. This was really happening. But something in Lily was boiling. Regret, fear, nerves, excitement? All the above.

Lily closed her eyes again and took one deep breath, while the herd of passengers were climbing over each other. What about Mum and Abu? What about Dadi Ma? What about Sahil? Oh never mind him, she thought. This was never truly about Sahil. It was far greater.

The truth is, Lily was tired. Tired of never quite being good enough or matching up to people’s expectations. Lily was a creative at heart, she had begged her Abu to do fashion studies at college but he disallowed it and said, no successful woman he knows studied fashion studies. He proceeded to say, that fashion is to be worn, not studied, which still until today makes zero sense to Lily.

Is this about the fashion, she thought? Absolutely not. It’s about it all. When was the last time I decided something for me? And didn’t let someone sway me into doing what they wanted. When was the last time I felt a sense of freedom, like I can do what I want, simply because I can. When was the last time I felt in control, of my life, my decisions, my thoughts? “Even my thoughts are not my own.” she muttered under her breath. When was the last time I … THUD!

“OUCH!” Lily shrieked.

A very handsome Parisian man with golden hair and olive-ish skin had rolled his suitcase right over her foot.

“Oh là là, je suis vraiment désolée, je ne vous avais pas vu !” the man said, softly and with a concerned face.

Lily had no clue what was happening, why is this charming man even paying any attention to me, let alone constructing the melody that’s coming out of his gorgeous mouth!

“Eh” she said.

“Oh — your foot! I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there… well, I saw you, just not your foot. I mean, I was looking at your face — I mean, I wasn’t staring, just—”

Stop talking, Peter.

Wow, he’s really putting his foot into it! Lily smirked. “You’re fine, all good, you can get through now”.

“I’m fine? You think so?”

Now Lily was very confused. Her eyebrows sunk and her nose scrunched as she contemplated. “Oh, I just meant it’s OK”

The both stood there for a moment, not quite getting what the other meant, but they had some mutual understanding that they were both insanely attracted to each other. Although he was not being as subtle as Lily. His eyes were scanning Lily’s hair, face, neck, shoulders, collar bone and …

“Ahem” Lily forcefully cleared her throat. “Are we about done here? You’re sort of in the way” she said as she stood, trying to retrieve her bag from under the foot rest. It was jammed! “UGH great.”

Why is he still here? She wondered, every other passenger was off the plane and probably already through customs and probably already having a lovely dinner at their hotel! Maybe not, but seriously, he’s hot but he needs to get a move on! He was hovering and it was making Lily nervous.

“I’m sorry, I’m Peter by the way, here let me help you with that” Lily, moved to the side and this time it was Lily doing all the looking, whilst Peter sat down to unhook the bag that was caught under the foot rest. “There! Got it!” he proudly affirmed.

“Thank you” Lily grabbed the bag and turned and practically sprinted off that plane. Of course, Peter was right behind her and all of a sudden she felt like she had forgotten how to walk. Am I walking funny? Or am I doing my sexy walk? She thought? OK. More hip swing. Less panic.

She could almost hear Peter smirking and then he said, “oh, we’re strutting now are we?”

“Oh — I forgot you were there,” she said, eyes forward, trying (and failing) to hide the grin spreading across her face.

Chapter 6: The Breakthrough

Lily had a smooth exit from the airport and hopped into a taxi to her hotel, after exchanging a few more words with Peter while queuing for baggage.

In the taxi, she thought about Peter. Not because he was insanely handsome, or charming, or had trampled her poor foot with his big, disrespectful suitcase. None of that.

It was because he reminded her that she was allowed to feel joy. To feel silly. To feel beautiful.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt beautiful for no reason at all.

She thought she was totally fine when she didn’t give Peter her number. She thought she was being a bad-ass, rejecting his offer to grab a coffee or catch a movie. But the truth was, she kept glancing back at the other cabs, hoping she might spot him again. Just one more sarcastic comment would have been nice.

She gazed out the window. They were stuck in traffic, but for once, Lily wasn’t mad about it. Even the honking horns of the Champs-Élysées traffic couldn’t rattle her. Everything around her was just… beautiful.

The grand buildings. The intricate details. The poetry of everyday French.

“Wow. I’m really here,” she whispered as they crossed the River Seine, the Eiffel Tower shimmering in the distance.

Her phone rang. Mother. Video Calling.

When Lily saw her mother’s face on the screen, she felt everything at once — fear, guilt, love, and something new: peace.

She wasn’t going to apologise for choosing herself. And she wasn’t going to argue.

“Hi Lily, wow, you really did it? You went to Paris… like you always wanted? I just wish you had said as we’ve been worried about you”

Lily blinked. Her mother’s tone was softer than expected.

“Well, yes. It’s late there. Why are you calling so late?”

“I just needed you to know something. I understand. I understand why you left, why you couldn’t tell us, and why you don’t want to see Sahil again.”

“You do?” Lily was stunned.

She took a breath.

“This wasn’t rebellion mum, I know that’s what you’re thinking. It was me, trying to find myself again. Trying to stop resenting everyone else for choices that weren’t mine. I just wanted to feel proud of myself… in my own skin.”

Her voice cracked.

“You and Abu always pushed. You never asked what I wanted. You broke my spirit, mum. And I can’t keep living under that roof if no one respects who I am.”

Lilly finally stopped. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

“I’m… I don’t… know what to say,” her mother whispered. “We just thought we were doing the right thing by you.”

“You are good parents,” Lily said. “But you have to let me make mistakes. Let me live.”

There was silence. Then:

“It’s late. Are you on the way to the hotel? Send me your address when you get there. I’m your mother. I’m meant to worry.”

“Of course. I will. I love you. I’ll call you in the morning.”

Lilly blew her mother a kiss, ended the call, and exhaled.

Finally, she thought. A breakthrough.

Chapter 7: The Arrival

Lily opened one sleepy eye and glanced around the room. To her surprise, she had woken up in Paris.

She’d left the dreamy white curtains open the night before, wanting the sun to greet her in the morning — and she didn’t regret it for a second. The entire room was bathed in light.

Wow. I’m really here.

She sat up, reached for her glasses, swept her hair into a messy high bun, and rubbed her eyes as she grabbed her phone.

7:30 a.m.

1 message — from Mum.

Lily paused.

Was this going to be the guilt trip? A plea to come home? A soft opening followed by sharp disappointment?

She swallowed hard and opened the message.

It was… a link.

A fancy-looking website.

She clicked it.

IFA Paris – Fashion School

Below the link, her mother had typed just seven words:

“You will always have my blessing.”

Lily blinked. Once. Twice.

Then she laid back down, turned to her side, and began scrolling through the fashion school’s homepage — a huge smile spreading across her face, a quiet fire building in her belly.

For the first time in a long time, she felt right at home.

She wasn’t running anymore.

She was simply arriving.