This Is How Frank Found The Perfect Doctor

This Is How Frank Found The Perfect Doctor

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a man named Frank. Nobody knew what his given name was. Whatever it was, he really hated it. People called him Frank because he was always really, "frank" on what he had to tell people. Another reason was that one of his favorite thing to eat was, "franks" and beans. He was also really, "frank" about the things he wanted to tell people. His favorite monster was, of course, " 'Frank'-enstein." Plus he loved the song " 'Franky' And Johny Were Sweethearts." That's when he needed to see a doctor so he let his fingers do the walking through the Yellow Pages. The problem was he ended up with a severe case of, "athletes fingers." He tried a plant specialist named Dr. Pepper but he didn't like his, "taste" in healing people. He tried a pidiatrist named Dr. Sholes, but he got some bad vibes about his, "soul." He tried a brain sergean named, Dr. Franklin Norman Stine, but he had a problem with the name, "Dr. Frank N. Stine." He tried a plant specialist named Dr. Pepper, but sitting in his waiting room he got a, "bitter" taste in his mouth about seeing him. He tried a heart surgean named Dr. Love, but his specialty was mending broken hearts with some glue made by his apprintace who was named Elmer. He tried a family practitioner who's named Dr. Doctor, but he didn't like how another patient came running in yelling, 'Dr. Doctor! Give me the news! I've got a bad case of loving you!" Yet in spite of that, none of those doctors could, "doct" him the way he needed. He told the receptionist he needed some action right away. He kept telling her he had an itchy trigger-finger he would use unless he got some satisfaction emediately, if not sooner. That made the receptionist tremble with fright, but she told the doctor he had an emergency patient who couldn't wait to be seen, so she let him go ahead in front of all the other patients who were in the waiting room since that patient really did mean business big-time and she didn't want any shooting.

When he got into the room where the doc was waiting for his next person to come in and be seen, that dude walked right straight in and said in a loud, boystrous voice, "Hay! Are you Doc? Now, I've got an itchy trigger finger!"

That made the doctor also tremble with fright, but he said, "Uh, yeah, I am. Now, what can I do for you, friend?"

That is when Frank said, "Doc, I told you, I have an itchy trigger finger! Does it look like poison ivy or some skeeter bites to you? I need some Campho Phaneaque or Calamine Lotion! All this itching is driving me crazy! I'm almost there as it is! I would rather be, 'Driving Miss Daisy!' "

By then Frank was getting frustrated. He needed to find somebody to be his doctor and excepted Medicaid. If he got sick, he wanted to call on a doctor instead of just a nurse, for then he wouldn't have to yell, "Nurse! I'm worse! Come and see me firs! Please end this awful curse! I'm willing to pay out of purse! If not, just call me a herce!"

The receptionist who he was talking to said, "Well, all the doctors in this hospital are currently busy seeing other patients right now. You'll have to wait until one of them becomes available. All the other doctors are either at home sick, on vacation with their families or out playing golf this sunny day. That's just, 'par for the course,' sir."

One day the doctor wanted a special kind of drink so he told his friend, who was a bartender, to fix him one. When he asked him what kind, he said, "It doesn't matter. Just put a hickory nut in it since that will give it a unique kind of flavor that I really do love quite a lot, please."

After several minutes the bartender brought the doctor his exceptionally unique kind of drink. That's when he announced proudly, "Here's your, 'hickory-daiquiri, Doc!"

While Frank was sitting there in the waiting room just observing everything that was going on around him, he had a feeling of comfort flow across his whole body, as if it was coming from an outside source which made him feel that way so he took that as a good sign from Above, and he felt like it was from the great Physician Who was better than every other one in the history of the universe. He had a feeling that came from Somebody named Dr. J., and not as in The 76ers Erving either. That's when he began to pray. He needed to know if the feelings he was having were real or not, so he continued praying to the great Physician. His pastor had said He could do anything if the person had enough faith to believe in Him, and he liked how he, "pasted," since that's what pastors are the best at.

Yet that's when something peculiar happened to his mouth. The corners began to go northward rather then southward, that's the direction they'd been pointing a lot recently. His mouth went from an n shape into a u shape.

All of a sudden Frank felt better than he had in years, so he walked out of the doctor's office, telling the receptionist to cancel his appointment because he didn't need to see him any more. With renewed energy, he didn't run, but rather skipped all the way to his car, then he drove home with his spirits flying high. If they would have gotten any higher he would have needed an oxygen mask since the air would have been so thin. When he waltzed through the door at his house, that's where his wife was cleaning up things. As he skipped up to her, he told her to go sit down because he wanted to finish the housework. Then he cooked a really delicious, nutricious meal. When she asked him if he was feeling alright, than he said, "No! I've got the urge to make you be as happy as possible, my sweet bride! Relax and let me do the work!"

That kind of behavior lasted not just throughout the entire week, but on throughout the rest of their lives spent married to each other. Later that spilled onto their kids. So, like the best-written children's stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

"THE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!"

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The end.

By, Cuz Roye.