Nothing Into Everything

I am the queen of almost. I almost became a professional dancer. I almost played basketball on Junior Varsity. I almost made art my career. But obviously, those things never happened. Why? Because I never make things happen.

I mean, I study every day. I almost made prom queen. But 1) I'm just not popular enough, and 2) I never make anything. It's always almost. I have to put up with things like my parents saying, "Great job, honey! You almost won!" They know it's not good. They know I'm not good enough.

But whatever. You learn to deal with things. Just like I've learned to deal with never getting things that I try to get.

I've tried everything. I'm not kidding. Every little hobby that people get into, but nothing's stuck. I mean, knitting, calligraphy, writing, animation, basically everything under the sun. Everything humanity has to offer, I've tried.

It's not the fact that I'm bad at anything. I've been told that I'm great at some of my past hobbies. But for some bad karma-y bad juju trash, I never manage to actually stay within that hobby.

That was all until I found the spark. Knife throwing. I get it, I get it. I'm not a serial killer. I'm not gonna stab you in your sleep. But for some reason, I enjoy it. Hitting a target with a sharp pointed blade fills me with such a rush. It's not really something I'd ever use... I thought.

Let me clarify. Behind my house there's a forest. Not a janky drug dealer forest, an actually huge one. There's a lot of stuff back there. But I never expected to find what I did.

I was walking along, unaware of what to do, but I brought my recently-sharpened throwing knives. I'd been throwing them into trees, hitting nearly every target.

I started yawning. It'd been a tiring day. I almost mistook the boy in the forest for a tree.

"Woah there, honey," he stepped out from my range of throwing.

"Please. Not one of you idiots," I growled, scowling. I knew my expression looked stupid, but it was necessary to keep myself from shaking. Whoever this forest boy was, he was bad news.

"Well don't just stand there like a deer in headlights," he said.

"Well get away from me then," I replied in a snarky tone. He smirked.

"Oh wow, one who thinks she can do everything," he laughed. "Would you get a load of that! 'Well get away from me then,' Oh! I'm so frightened!"

I rolled my eyes and continued my stroll down the winding paths of the forest that I knew by heart. He followed a good way behind, and I would've chucked a knife right at his chest, but I didn't want to be charged for second degree murder. He still followed, though, which kind of sent my skin crawling.

"I don't know what you've seen from reading or movies, but stalkers aren't as hot as your pea-sized brain thinks." He paused for a second, contemplating my words. Then laughed his dumb laugh.

"Reading I understand. But what's a movie? Did you make that up? Wouldn't surprise me."

I stopped. This boy, probably about two years older than me, didn't know what a movie was. This forest inhabitant truly didn't know.

"You're kidding!" I shouted.

"Nope," he replied, seeming far more casual than I would've liked.

"No, you're kidding. You've gotta be kidding! Unless you're a dumb forest hobo who was raised in the woods, you're kidding."

"I can show you where I grew up. I'm not," his expression turned from a smirk to mere confusion as he stared at me.

"Okay."

He led me in the total opposite direction of where I was trying to go, which honestly, I wasn't sure if I'd make it back to my house in time. But I didn't care. I wanted to see what the heck this idiot was talking about.

We passed a few trees that wound together in an odd twist. I'd never been this way, so I made a mental note of them.

He tried reaching for my hand to pull me past a couple brambles, but I pulled mine away despite them being a tough patch to get through.

And as soon as we passed the brambles, I saw it. A whole civilization. Not like the Mayans, but like a fantasy old-timey village. He wasn't joking. This was where he lived.

I stared with wide eyes at his place of living in the heart of the forest. At the heart of my forest.

"What is this place?"

"My village."

This is the place I grew up in, the only place I know. This forest that I had claimed as my own was truly not. It meant so much more to these people than me. That was frightening and incredible to think about. I should probably not have felt jealous, but for some reason, I did. Ignorance is truly bliss.

"So you live in a fantasy world?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Pretty much. Until you take into account that our level of magic is way low. We still do have some. Do people in your village still have magic?"

I wanted to say he was lying. I wanted to not believe him. Magic didn't exist and never would. But based on his honesty, it got harder and harder to stop believing him and to shut him out.

"Magic exists?"

"Of course! It always has, hasn't it?"

"No!"

He chuckled, leading me through his village. But it was when we got to the sorcery shop that I got confused. There really was magic here. Magic existed.

My Disney Princess dreams could finally come true. Except for the fact that real life isn't anywhere close to Disney.

And that was when I realized it. The fact that I could never go back. With this knowledge, I'd have to stay here forever or face years of not being believed and going crazy.

I let out an ear-shattering scream. I could never return.