Middle School Funny

     “This is a stupid idea, you realize this, right?!”

     “Absolutely that’s why we are doing this!”

     I sighed, she’ll never change. Trixie has always been daring. Growing up in the house of a pediatrician and a politician, I knew life would always come with risks, and I learned to accept that. But I will not accept the fact that my best friend wants me to spend the night in a graveyard, just because some kids from our school were doing it.

     “Trixie-” I started.

     “Oh hush up, you have to learn to live a little Jane, we’re in 7th grade now after all!”

     I sighed again. She has a point. I mean what’s the point of living if we don’t get our hands dirty. I tied my red hair back into a ponytail and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up over my face. If anyone saw my freckles, they would know it was me, and I’d be dead. I ran on the side of the large road, packed with new concrete, and followed Trixie. It was late and dark, so I could feel A chill running down my spine. I can’t believe I’m doing this, I thought. I can’t believe I just snuck out! 

     “Hey,” Trixie said, turning her head back and halting to a stop, “Are you that freakin’ nervous about this? I mean I know your parents are strict, but the worst they can do is ground you.”

     My cheeks turned red. I hadn’t even thought about that. I let out a little squeal.

     Trixie grabbed my hand and smiled.

     “I know you're brave, you can do this girl! Screw all the consequences, and let’s go have fun together!”

     I gripped her hand tightly and nodded. She rushed forward, right after checking time on her phone again. 11:17. Time passed slowly as my anxiety rolled over. What if I got hurt? Or kidnapped? Or caught? My head was pounding and my legs were getting tired, from running so fast, and just when I thought I was done-


     Trixie let go of my hand and wrung her wrists a few times before reaching for the phone in her pocket and turning on its flashlight. In all the madness I sneaked a glimpse of the time. 11:56. I was so far away from home, how would I ever get back?! 

     Trixie shined the light from her phone and walked through the entrance of the graveyard. Suddenly I heard some heavy halloween music playing in the distance. I smiled. Was this more like a party? Probably.

     “Welcome Trixie and-?” A male voice said, resting an elbow on Trixie’s shoulder.


     The flashlight was soon focused on him and I recognized that face immediately. Jacob. He was the host of this graveyard bash, and undoubtedly the most popular guy in our grade, especially with the girls. I saw a smile creep onto Trixie’s face as he led her away and deeper into the maze-like collection of graves. Their voices became more distant as they walked farther, and the last thing I heard was their laughs.

     “Wait- Tri- Trixie!”

      I could cry out for her all I want but the music would always overpower me. Before I knew it I started sweating and anxiety rushed over me again. She just left! She just left! I sprinted forward hoping to find her by following the music, when suddenly I tripped over a grave and slammed into the ground. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I groaned in pain. I felt warm blood trickling down my leg, the sting increasing by the second. 

     “Hey! What the heck do you think you're doing here young lady?!” A voice yelled. 

     I looked up, only to see an old man holding a rake. I heard the music come to an abrupt stop and I could hear footsteps pounding on the ground toward the entrance/exit. I can’t believe it. I got caught. Way to go Jane. Way to go. I knew this was a bad idea, I should’ve just trusted my instincts.      

     “Hey girlie! I asked you a question!” The man yelled again. 

     I looked around for help, now realizing I was the only one here. Panicking I stood up and ran away, dragging my injured ankle behind me. I heard the man drop his rake, and he began chasing me. I screamed. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared. It was dark and my ankle really hurt and I was being chased by a madman. Just your typical Halloween. I turned back to see how far behind he was when I saw a shadowy figure slam the man in the head with something large. That’s when a bright light was shone my way. Trixie. Holding the rake. I don't know what happened, but I suddenly slumped to the ground.


     My eyes opened slightly.

     “She’s waking up!”


     My eyes fluttered open at the sound of my mother’s voice. My mother’s voice. Oh crap. What am I supposed to tell her? Sorry I snuck out and nearly got myself killed, but it’s ok before I passed out Trixie nailed a dude with a rake! Yep, that was out of the question.

     “Oh sweetie, we were so worried about you, don’t you ever do that again!” Mom cried warmly as she leaped onto my hospital bed and dived in for a hug. My father was behind her, he was generally a quiet man, but around Mom and I he often smiled. Normally I would avoid his gaze in a situation like this, but I couldn’t help but stare. I liked my father’s approval more than anything else in this world. His hard expression slowly softened into a smile.

     “It is ok Jane, next time I would hope you chose to make better choices.”

     I gave him an apologetic nod, before I gave him a quick hug.

     “Sooooo…” I started.

     “Oh sorry did I not mention, that your phone will be ours for a week?” Mom asked. I simply laughed and motioned to the nightstand where it lay.

     “Guess that’s the price to pay!

October 28, 2020 18:20

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
08:02 Nov 05, 2020

You liked all of my stories, but I figured all of them have the same time label. That implies you didn't read those stories at all. "we’re in 7th grade now after all!”_now is slowing the pace, maybe rearrange the sentence? I couldn't understand why your mc could not catch up with Trixie. Furthermore, I couldn't believe she could have been killed, as the old guy seemed to be a typical night guard to me. The pacing is almost perfect. A bit fast though. Fast is not always good. The story flowed almost smoothly. Still needs a fair b...


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Millie Hazen
04:21 Jan 19, 2023

Hello! I found this story really nice. It was a great pace for a quick read. "I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I groaned in pain. I felt warm blood trickling down my leg, the sting increasing by the second." I really loved this line but one thing I would change is, instead of saying, "I could" or "I felt", you could just say, "Warm blood trickled down my leg". I don't know if that was helpful but I thought it would flow better with that small change. I don't really know what I'm doing, Haha!


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Grace Reardon
12:53 Nov 05, 2020

Thank you for the critiques, I am working on keeping my stories at a slower pace as well! The mc could not keep up with Trixie because it was very dark and she was very timid and shy. OMG I am so sorry if you misinterpreted things. I read all of your stories and then went over and liked them all. Thank you though! Just the critiques I'm looking for!


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Grace Reardon
14:53 Nov 03, 2020

Hey guys! Tell me what you think of this new story! I want to know ALL of your critiques, because I have been waiting to write a good-natured story about the unstoppable bond of 7th grade friends! So yeah, hard critiques!


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