She Dreams of Toads

   It started as a prank. Lena stood on the conjoined back patio of her duplex and stifled a giggle as she dumped bag after bag of crickets on her neighbor's back doorstep. The crickets leapt and scurried in every direction, clinging to any surface they touched. "This should get his attention!" She muttered to herself with intense satisfaction. 

 Lena, by all accounts, had the social skills of a wet sock. Nick moved into the unit next to hers at the start of the Fall semester, and she fell in love instantly. She could only muster the occasional burst of small talk in passing with him, but just those few exchanges convinced her he was absolutely the one. 

  It was well into the Spring semester when she noticed a new face, a woman's perfect stupid face, entering and exiting Nick's unit with regularity. Lena thought nothing of it until she heard the two laughing on the patio.

"So, are you gonna move in or what?"

"Maybe. What's in it for me?" 

Lena listened at the door and felt her hands clench in fury. 

"You get all this."

"That is an attractive offer." 

  How could Nick do this to me? Lena felt hot tears streaking down her face. Her Nick, beautiful, friendly Nick, was with someone else. This simply wouldn't do. She somehow had to get his attention away from that rhinestone harlot and back onto her. 

    Her first order of business was to scare the other woman away. Surely the horde of crickets would do the trick. The types of girls like the one that now lived with Nick hated bugs. Sure enough within minutes of dumping the crickets on the back patio Lena heard a shriek and a flurry of frantic swatting.

"They're everywhere. Ugh!" She heard the woman cry out. "I'm so glad we are moving out of this godforsaken place!" 

Lena's heart sank. Her beloved Nick was leaving forever. The next day a moving truck showed up in the shared driveway and by the evening the unit next door sat empty. Lena was left alone with nothing but her thoughts and what remained of a horde of crickets battering themselves against the backdoor.

That night Lena had the first toad dream. She sat on the unkempt grass of her backyard covered in crickets. They crawled through her hair, into her clothes, and down her arms. She was too sad to move so she just sat there letting them crawl on her. Suddenly a giant toad hopped over the fence. She extended her arms and the toad ate crickets from her outstretched hands. 

Lena woke with a start. What a strange dream! She had to get rid of those crickets. It was nothing a little bug spray couldn't fix. Spray in hand she marched outside but found a very different plague in her backyard. Toads scurried in every direction snatching up every cricket unfortunate enough to cross their path. 

She had to admit the little toads were far more entertaining than the crickets. They served as a perfect distraction for her newly broken heart. From that day she made regular trips to the local bait shop for crickets to feed her new toad friends. 

Occasionally she had the same dream, of being covered in crickets, the toad eating crickets from her hands. Eventually the dream changed and instead of crickets she held a sandwich, potato chips, a cup of coffee or a can of soda. Each time the toad ate or drank what was offered and bowed in thanks before hopping away. 

Lena installed a cat door into the lowest part of her back door and kept it open. The horde of toads learned quickly to hop through the cat door and into the kitchen. The toads were her best friends now. They listened as she chattered incessant about the things she didn't have the nerve to say to an actual person. She could hear the plop-plop of toads hopping across the linoleum as she prepared a feast for them of tiny sandwiches, thimbles of soda, and of course crickets. 

She had one she favored above the rest, a particularly large toad with a heart shaped spot between his golden globular eyes. He held a striking resemblance to the toad in her dreams, and sometimes she even fancied she could see a hint of understanding in those brilliant eyes of his when she spoke.

   She named him Roger and before long Roger became the closest thing to a friend she had ever had. Every evening she made two plates, one for her and one for Roger. While the other toads scurried about on the floor with their crickets and thimbles of soda, Roger sat primly at the edge of her dining table. He even ate politely, only placing his little toad hands on the saucer when his food was just out of reach. Lena chattered and Roger listened intently with every dinner. 

As Summer turned to fall the air grew colder. One by one the toads, save Roger, began burrowing for the winter in lieu of joining Lena for dinner. It was a little lonelier without the horde of toads plop-plopping about across the linoleum during dinner time. With just Roger, however, Lena was perfectly content. She had taken to bringing him to the bed with her where he would snuggle up at her feet and sleep soundly throughout the night. In the morning he would always be gone but every evening like clockwork he hopped back through the cat door ready for another meal and conversation. 

About the time Roger started arriving with little gifts, a flower, a pretty stone, a lost earring, the dreams took on a sort of strangeness. In her dreams the giant toad danced with her, held her in his bumpy toad arms, kissed her gently with a look of complete adoration dancing in his golden eyes. 

Lena woke and felt uncomfortable. Things were getting weird with Roger around and she feared she was starting to lose her mind. That day she slid the panel into the cat door and ate alone for the first time in months. After a few nights of hearing poor Roger slapping against the barred cat door his visits and the dreams both stopped abruptly. 

Lena missed Roger, yet she knew some distance was for the best. Me, in love with a toad? I'm not crazy, she muttered to herself. The first snow of the year fell silently beyond her kitchen window, a haze of grey that felt cold just by sight alone. She sat at the table with her dinner when she heard a pounding on her back door. When she opened the door she met with a fright and shut it immediately.

Outside Nick stood in the snow, disheveled and shoeless. Frantically he shouted for help, begging to be heard.

"I made a mistake, I realize now I love you after all."

Lena peered through the window and latched the deadbolt. She had never been close enough to Nick to notice the little heart shaped birthmark just above the bridge of his nose. Seeing it reminded her of Roger. At that moment she realized just how much she missed her time with her toad friend. She shook her head and concentrated on the task at hand. Nick pounded on the door, begging to be let in, to be loved. Lena did the only thing she knew to do and called the police to have him removed. 

"Wow, I really dodged a bullet with that one, didn't I?" She muttered to herself. She found herself wishing Roger was still around so she could tell him about the crazy evening she had. She opened the cat door again and waited. Hopefully soon Roger would be back when the weather turned warm again.