because of various anomalies of certain disputable facts I believe I should win the 50 dollar short story prize because I said so.

so I just finished saying "because I said so " to my daughter because she was asking why I couldn't lift her up in a laundry basket and twirl her around for the seventeenth time and I pretended it was because my arms were falling off but my daughter is not that stupid so she said "they are not" and I said "you're right" so she said "then again, again" and I said "no" and she said "why" and I said "because I said so"...

so because I said "because I said so" and because I had just recently signed up for this writing contest web site which offers 50 dollar prizes I was inspired to start writing because the laundry basket that I dangerously hurl my daughter about in has broken... oh entropy!!!... cruel as the conquering worm!!!.. everything breaks down with the exception of a ford automobile because they break down at least twice...

life itself is eternal but unfortunately the matter that surrounds our consciousness is not. consciousness outlives the matter that it infests. my love for my daughter is something I feel is a permanent and a forceful ingredient in the universal soup but this shape and form of her father breaks down just as easily as, oh let's say, a crappy little laundry basket made out of plastic that feels like a spaceship to a four year old with a imagination worth imagining...

so because I said "so what" to myself "I'm going to die one day! I ain't afraid of that!... but I better justify this don't-quit-my-day-job writing with some cash so my daughter doesn't laugh at me when her grade 3 theme on "what she wants for Christmas" wins 50 dollars in a writing contest on the subject matter of being as stubborn as a bull & "because I said so"ers...

so I said (to myself) "because I'm in debt so deep that my knee caps aren't broken yet but they have been threatened by a psychotic nun carrying a brass ruler the size of a brass monkey (that's for you Wally) I could use 50 dollars". The practical fact is that I really could use 50 dollars to replace a practical item that transports soiled undergarments from a standard issue signal dad bedroom to a washing machine and also transports a little space cadet to Jupiter and parts beyond with a complementary stay at the hotel at the end of 2001 where due to a recent turn of the roulette wheel (re: economy) the hotel now has a black hole with a waterslide and hot tub and a complementary continental breakfast with a menu with a whole bunch of snit that nobody has ever flugging heard of and absolutely nobody can explain or even begin to describe...

so because of all this that I had said to myself I decided to try for the first time to earn some money off this writing hobby of mine and to try not to care if anyone likes it and don't be surprised if nobody is reads it... but maybe somebody is reading it... who?... who are you? are you wearing socks at the moment? is there an animal that you wish was domesticated but you don't want to admit it because something seems suspiciously cruel about domesticating animals?(and that one's for you Matty) do you prefer chocolate or cheese? I don't know you but it would be very neat to meet you! but seriously I can't truly express how seriously I'm taking this contest because I'm talking about a laundry basket spaceship and I take space very seriously... my daughter takes space very seriously too... she certainly has no problem with her father repeatedly telling her that she'll grow up to be a astronaut... and she seems to have no problem with the space that was needed for her mother and her father to maintain a happy family... measurements always seem silly when combined with a concept of infinity but the space needed for my daughter's parents to maintain a loving family was roughly 20 city blocks and they are still in love and travel those city blocks to each others houses often but when they lived together, well, how the hell any two people can get into heated arguments of incensed rage over how smoked the smoked paprika was is beyond me so they and we made space... because of this my daughter is well practiced in the art of bilocation... she's also overly fond of using the word "poop" which I'm NOT fond of but I keep laughing when ever she sez it so I figure it must be her mothers fault...

the opposite of incidentally speaking;(KV); the anomalies spoken of in the title are the human acts of love and art and the particular ways of our species familial bonding and the disputable facts are in fact facts. my daughter, whose name I shall not reveal to perfect stranger but we can call her "smarty whip cutie button" for short, is four years old. I have always been too insecure about trying to sell my art but I suddenly feel like I need to and keep whatever money I earn for her so that she can be proud of me and understand that her father was absolutely true when he said " dad is making his art little one... he makes it for himself but it is all for you"...

now here's the kick in the sass back! do you believe a word I've written and if you do what do you think? anyone could conjure up an imaginary daughter to win fifty dollars but have I? anyone could exploit a daughter to win 50 dollars to selfishly spend on themselves but am I? anyone could be creatively writing a plea for a fifty dollar reward to impress their daughter and start her whatever she wants to be post secondary school fund but did I?

YES! I just did it. so you can find this petition or literary begging a gas or laugh or offence to your leanings/learnings and you may even call me a lair!!!(my daughter knows she is real and she knows kung-fu too so I wouldn't tell her she doesn't exist!!!) but you should award me this prize BECAUSE I SAID so much depends on you reader and how you felt about reading this and thanks for taking the time to read this whatever your opinion may be. I do hope that you and your loved ones are enjoying heath and auspiciousness. (insert smiling face emoticon here).