Keep this to Yourself

“Keep this to Yourself”

Most people deal with it at some point in their lives and usually more than once. It’s one of those times when someone walks up to you, glances around and then leans in and says something like, “Hey, I just heard something and you can’t tell a soul.” Some people react with the thought, “Why in hell do you want to tell me something that has to be kept secret?” Of course there are others who react with “Oh my God, what is it? Tell me!” It’s like you’re being handed a box that might contain a firecracker or it might contain a bomb and either way, the burden to keep the lid on it is yours. And to make things worse you don’t know who else might have been handed the same box.

That was the dilemma that faced Patrick last Thursday morning. He’d taken his laptop downstairs to the café in the lobby. His favorite window seat was available and he took advantage of the chance to fine tune a big presentation free from the distractions of the office. But about ten minutes after he’d sat down a distraction found him. Eddie Hicks, his coworker and friend walked toward him and called out, “I thought I’d find you here.”

Patrick had mixed feelings about the interruption but smiled and said, “Yeah, you caught me.” He noticed that Eddie was holding a cup of coffee and nothing else, so working wasn’t part of his reason for being there. He’d also noticed that his friend seemed nervous, almost scared. “Have a seat,” he told him. Something told Patrick that running into him in the café wasn’t a coincidence.

”What are you working on?” Eddie asked.

“Just going over things for the two o’clock meeting, you know, the new Forbes ranking.”

Eddie looked down at his coffee, swirling it mindlessly in the cup. “That’s what I thought.” He looked up and Patrick knew something was coming. “Look, Pat, there’s something you should know before the meeting. It’s about the Forbes ranking, our number.”

“What about it? We ranked number 98. We’re in the Top 100. It’s great news for us. Is there more to it than that?”

Eddie’s nervousness seemed to have turned to much more. He put down his cup and looked at the people at nearby tables, then leaned forward. “Yeah, I’m afraid there’s more to it. Much more.”

Patrick sat for a moment, staring at Eddie, waiting for him to explain. Finally, he said, “Okay, even though I’m guessing I’ll regret it, tell me what’s going on.”

Eddie let out a long, deep breath. Again, he glanced around at the other people. He cleared his throat and quietly said, “If I tell you this you have to promise, absolutely promise to keep it to yourself.”

And there it was. Eddie had handed him the box and now all he could do was wait to see if it exploded. The company’s breaking into the Forbes 100 was the biggest thing his marketing team had ever worked on. They were developing a public announcement and special events with stockholders and clients. For two solid weeks Patrick had worked on nothing else and now he wondered if Eddie’s secret would screw up everything. “How can I make a promise like that? I have no clue what your top secret shit is all about and if it affects me and my meeting you better tell me now.”

Eddie stared out the window, shaking his head. He started slowly. “Okay, here goes. This is going to sound really boring to someone who’s not in the accounting department.” He was having trouble maintaining eye contact. He tapped the table nervously as he began his explanation. “Okay, here it is. Forbes has a process for rating a company. It’s based on four different metrics; sales, profits, assets and market value. All the metrics are equally weighted and they add them up to get your composite score. There’s a minimum cut-off value to qualify.” He stopped and looked at Patrick. “Are you bored yet?” he asked, hoping to ease the tension. When Patrick didn’t answer Eddie continued. “Anyway, I only fudged the numbers a little bit, just enough to bump them higher than last year. I know it wasn’t right but it didn’t seem like a big deal either. I mean, there was no real harm done and nobody got screwed.”

Patrick was more than surprised and replied, “Tell that to the guy who got stuck at 101.”

“Well, let me finish. This was the third year I worked on the Forbes application and I knew we’d be pretty close, like maybe number 110 or 115.”

“And what’s wrong with being 110 or 115?”

“Because until you crack the Top 100 you’re just another company, someone else who didn’t quite make it to the party. If we’d ended up at 110 you wouldn’t be having your meeting this afternoon.”

Patrick sat back in his chair. “Man, I can’t believe all this. Why would you cheat?”

That was the question that Eddie knew would be coming but it didn’t make it any easier to answer. He hesitated a moment then replied, “I’ve been thinking about this ever since I worked on last year’s application. I knew that if I worked the metrics just right I could raise our composite score and make the company more valuable.” He waited for a reaction from Patrick but one didn’t come. “Okay, Pat, here it is. Before Forbes made their confidential announcement to the applicants I borrowed and scraped together every nickel I could and bought more stock in the company. As you probably know a company’s stock usually goes way up when they crack the Top 100.”

Patrick let out a sigh and shook his head. “So this is just a damn money-making scheme.” He closed his laptop and stood up. “Do you really think nobody will find out about a thing like this?”

“Relax, there were nearly four thousand applications this year. The scoring method is averaged out over the four metrics and if something doesn’t look right they raise a red flag and contact the company. They can’t possibly audit every metric of every company. Forbes accepted our application and scored us. They’re doing some last minute paper work on it then it’s a done deal.”

“What last minute paperwork?”

“It’s just some kind of checklist to make sure they have everything they need. No big deal.

Patrick turned to leave but stopped long enough to say, “And since you found it necessary to tell me the story I guess I’m involved in the big deal now too. Thanks a lot.”

“Come on, man, don’t take it like that. You’ve been working on it too and I just felt like I needed to tell someone, that’s all.”

As he walked away Patrick asked, “Why did it have to be me?”

On the elevator ride back up to his office Patrick’s mind was whirling with thoughts about what he should do with the information Eddie had shared. Or not do. Should he open the box he was given or leave the lid on it? The ranking with Forbes was a huge accomplishment for the company but it had been tarnished by one man’s fraud. The potential repercussions were enormous if the truth came out: Fines from the SEC. Shame and embarrassment when competitors found out. Clients abandoning their relationships with the company. Even the chance for staff to lose their jobs. And even though Eddie had told him it was a done deal it was still an unnerving situation and now Patrick was part of it.

The marketing meeting started on time. The conference room was filled with the excitement and enthusiasm that Patrick had felt for the two weeks since the announcement. He’d felt it right up until Eddie told him his secret about the fake numbers. Now he had to be the cheerleader for the team knowing full well the selection was a sham. He went through the meeting in a fog and let the other people do most of the talking. About half an hour into it he saw Eddie walk by the door, looking in with a sheepish expression. Despite his distraction Patrick got through the meeting and was even given a nickname by his team. From now on he’d no longer be Patrick Wells. He’d be known as Captain Wells. Their acknowledgement of his hard work was flattering but what he’d learned about how the company had reached its goal took the joy out of the whole thing.

The meeting went longer than planned. It was almost as though the team was so full of adrenaline that no one wanted to leave. When they finally wrapped up Patrick decided to pack up his laptop case and head for home. While he was driving his phone signaled an incoming text message. It was from Eddie and it read, “Pat, just checking in. Hope you’re not still pissed at me. Probably shouldn’t have told you but hope we’re still friends.” Patrick just shook his head. He couldn’t bring himself to reply.

It was a long evening. His wife, Rachael, could tell there was something bothering him. There’d been very little conversation at dinner and when she tried talking to him while they were cleaning up all she could get from him were short replies delivered in a flat, quiet tone. Finally, when she’d had enough of his lack of engagement, she asked, “Alright, what is it? What’s got you so preoccupied that you won’t talk to me?”

He really didn’t feel like getting into it so he just offered a weak reply of, “Oh, it’s just stuff at the office.” He knew it was a non-answer but it was all he felt like sharing.

Rachael wasn’t buying it. “Oh, come on. You’ve been on a cloud for weeks about the Forbes thing and now you’re in some kind of funk.”

He knew she’d be like a dog on a bone until he came clean. He looked at her, sighed and said, “We’re almost finished here. How about you grab a Cabernet and I’ll meet you in the living room?”

The wine was poured and Rachael sat on the sofa waiting for Patrick to join her. He seemed to be stalling, going back into the kitchen for napkins and walking around the room turning on lamps. Finally, when she’d reached the end of her patience, she said, “Pat, sit down. Talk to me.”

He dropped to the sofa beside her and she handed him a glass. She could tell he was nervous. So was she. He took a sip of wine, cleared his throat and said, “Okay, here it is. Like I told you it’s office stuff. Something happened and I feel like I’ve been backed into a corner and I don’t know how to get out.”

She put her hand on his arm. “Oh no, are you in some kind of trouble?”

“Not exactly. It’s hard to explain. I found out something about the Forbes ranking, something nobody else knows and I don’t know what to do.”

“What is it? What did you find out?”

It took him a moment to answer. “I found out that the metrics, the numbers on our application were falsified. They made our score higher than it should be but nobody in the office caught it.”

Rachael set her glass on the table. “Oh my God, I don’t work there but even I can tell that’s got to be serious trouble for whoever did it.”

Patrick took another sip and set his glass down. “It was Eddie.”

He’d expected more of a shocked look on her face. She asked, “Are you really surprised?”

“Well, I know he’s kind of a flake but I never pegged him to be a crook. He told me he worked out a way that nobody would be suspicious and nobody would get hurt by it. And he did it just so he could make money when our stock went up.”

Rachael leaned toward him, obviously upset. Honey, what are you going to do? You can’t just sit on this.”

“I know, but no matter what I do there’s going to be trouble for someone. I don’t know why the hell Eddie thought to bring me into his confidence but he did, and when he did I became part of the whole thing.”

“What if you just went right to Frank Carpin? He’s the owner and everything ends up on his desk eventually.”

“That was my first thought but it’s a whole lot more complicated than that. Forbes processed our application and awarded us the ranking. We haven’t made it public yet but every other company who applied, and we’re talking like four thousand companies, knows all of the rankings.

“I said you can’t just sit on it but what if you do? What if you just let it all play out? Is there a chance nobody will find out?

“That’s what makes it all a big crapshoot. Look, there are three ways this can all play out. One, I can sit on it and cover for Eddie and nothing happens, everything’s fine. Forbes makes the official announcement and we move on with the big ranking. Everyone is happy. Two, I go to Carpin, tell him everything I know and help him with damage control. Maybe we call it an accounting error and we’ve come forward to explain it and apologize. In that scenario the best we can do is cut our losses. We’ll risk looking unprofessional and careless and we’ll disappear from this year’s rankings altogether. Our customers will wonder why and our competitors will start the gossip chain. And on top of that I doubt that Forbes will ever consider another application from us.”

“And number three?”

Well that’s where the shit really hits the fan. Forbes finds out on its own. To protect their reputation and the integrity of the rankings they make a very public announcement. The SEC gets involved. Our company looks corrupt to customers, competitors and the media. It won’t take long for everything to come crashing down. It’ll be very ugly for a lot of people including us.”

Rachael sat back, a look of disbelief frozen on her face. “Holy shit, honey, this is a mess.”

Patrick never fell asleep that night. All he could think about was the secret, the little box that Eddie had handed him. He knew that when he went into the office on Friday he’d have to decide if he was going to open it.

Friday workdays were usually more casual than the rest of the week as people anticipated their weekend plans. When Patrick sat down at his desk he could only anticipate the day ahead of him and what he had to do. Before he could settle in he heard a voice behind him.

“Hey, man, I’ve been watching for when you got here.” Eddie stepped inside the door, smiling so broadly it looked out of place. The smile seemed counter to his nervousness. “I, uh, wanted to give you… some news. I talked to my guy at, uh, Forbes this morning. I called him from the car because of the time difference in New York.”

It shouldn’t have been so hard for Patrick to be civil to someone he’d always considered a friend but he managed a faint smile and asked, “And what’s the news?”

“Um, well, he told me everything’s cool with our, uh, application. So you can relax.”

After everything that Eddie had done it was hard for Patrick to take his words at face value. He felt like he needed to test him. As he unpacked his laptop he casually asked, “By the way, who’s your friend at Forbes? Is he someone I should know?

Eddie’s face went blank and he stammered, “Uh, he’s just a guy, you know, an accounting guy like me…nobody you need to know.” He hesitated a moment and then turned to leave. “Catch you later,” he said quietly.

Patrick had already made up his mind to tell Carpin what had been going on behind the scenes. Just waiting and hoping that nothing would happen was too big of a risk. And if Carpin ever found out that Patrick had known about the fraudulent numbers he could face criminal charges. Sharing a cell with Eddie wasn’t an appealing thought.

Carpin’s assistant, Janice, was on the phone when Patrick walked in. He stood in front of her desk and waited for her to finish.

“Good morning, Pat, I haven’t seen much of you this week.”

“Yeah, well things have been kind of crazy in my department lately.”

“I know, everyone’s been wall to wall with the Forbes news.”

“That’s why I need to talk to Frank, like right now. It’s really important. I guess you could call it an emergency.”

“He just took a phone call. Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll go in and slip him a note. That’s all I can do. The call is with the people from Forbes and it could go awhile.”

Peter got a sick feeling in his stomach. “I just heard from Eddie Hicks. He said everything on the ranking is set. We’re good to go.”

Janice shook her head. “Well, it sounds to me like Eddie is jumping the gun. When I asked the man from Forbes if I could tell Frank what the call was in regard to he said, “Yes, tell him we have a problem.”