When They Couldn't See

“Are you there, God? It’s me.”

It had been silent for the past three years now; any attempts to contact Him failed, any prayer offered was never returned. Those were the days the blindfolds were worn and everyone went about their daily lives, walking the same routes, saying the same things, keeping to the same way of life, day in and day out, their lanterns devoid of flames. The sun didn’t shine either; it only rained, and the brightest it ever got was dull at best, dark clouds during the day and darker than black during the night. Nobody complained, nobody felt, nobody lived, just existed.

Jess was kneeling by her bed, her hands pressed together, lit only by the faint warm glow of the small flame in her lantern sat on the table beside her bed. Scraps of newspapers dotted the floor, stories of pain, hopelessness, and darkness. She was afraid. A worn and torn slip of paper sat on the bed in front of her, a letter from her mother left to her before she was taken.

Out of the darkness of the dull day there came a knock at Jess’ door, shattering the silence she wished wasn’t there. She jumped and her breathing became staggered. Her hands began to shake and her heart began to pound. The knock came again. She scurried around the room, scooping up into her hands all the scraps and placed them in her leather side-bag before securing it with a padlock. She opened the drawer of her bedside table and grabbed the blindfold and tied it around her head to cover her eyes. Cautiously, she felt her way to the stairs and descended them with great care. The knock came a third time, this time with more aggression and impatience behind it. She made it to the door and opened it.

Two officials dressed in black leather uniforms and without blindfolds stood in the pouring rain. One of them carried a clipboard and the other a baton.

“Compliance check. Miss Jessica Lynn, correct?” The man with the clipboard looked at Jess sternly, with expectation thrown all over his bony face.

“Erm, yes, that’s correct,” Jess replied, trying to hide her unease.

“Blindfold on, good. House looks clear of anything that could,” a pause, “distort your sense of truth. Good. That light coming from upstairs?”

“Oh, that’s just my lamp.”

The man with the baton gave her a suspicious glance.

“That is,” Jess continued, “my bedside lamp.”

The man with the clipboard smiled and ticked a few boxes without ever taking his gaze off her. The man with the baton continued to eye her suspiciously.

“Good,” said the man with the clipboard. “You’ve passed. As always, inform us should you come across anyone deviating, or you yourself.” They both nodded and bid her good day before they left for their next check.

Jess went back inside, locked the door, and took off her blindfold. She leaned her back against it and slid to the floor as she let out a long, drawn-out sigh of relief. They’ve been getting more suspicious, scared even, of the slightest deviation. But Jess had a plan and she was determined not to get caught. She went back upstairs and grabbed her lantern and sat on the bed as she waited for night. She picked up the letter and opened it. Hastily scribbled were the words:

Look for the Key in the place most feared. With Hope, Love, and Action, Mum.

Jess cried softly as she hugged the letter to her chest.

Darkness descended on the city, the eerie nothingness that existed outside. The only things that moved were the shadows of the Enforcers, the same people who had greeted her at her door earlier that day. It was a risk, she knew it, but she had to do it, for her and for the people she shared the city with, and for her mother. Those poor souls. Her flame was smaller than it was earlier. She had to go right away, so she picked up the lantern and made her way outside.

She kept to the shadows as she crept around the narrow streets winding here and there, past dimly lit houses and boarded-up pubs and meeting places. As she walked down Academy Street towards the Grand Library, she passed a boarded-up house with smashed windows and a derelict roof. She knew him well. Grant lived in that house before the Enforcers came and saw his blindfold lying on top of banned newspapers, the kind that spoke of world crises and corrupt dealings within the powers that be. They beat him in his bedroom and dragged him out by his hair. God only knows where Grant is now, if he’s even on Earth anymore.

“Are you there, God? It’s me,” Jess whispered to herself, hoping he’d answer, but she knew he couldn’t.

In the chill of the ever-darkening night, Jess made it to the library doors, grand wooden doors shaped like the kind you’d expect to see in a castle. It was far too dangerous to creep in through the front doors, so she went round the side and climbed through an open window, crashing to the floor as she caught her foot on the stained-glass pane. Luckily, there were no Enforcers there; they despised being anywhere that encouraged free thinking.

The library was impressively large; old stone walls surrounded the countless wooden shelves stacked with a variety of old books of all kinds of subjects, leading up to the ornate ceiling. This was always her favourite place before the Great Censor. She climbed the open spiral staircase up to the sections on Hope and Everlasting Light. The books were chained shut, locked to keep prying hands away from them. She scoured the shelves for the key that would give her the answers she needed, climbing the enormous ladders to reach the higher points of the shelves, but she found nothing, nothing that even remotely resembled a key.

After a moment of sulking and tears, the faint light of the moon shone into the library, illuminating a yellow book wedged between two tattered black ones. She approached it and took it into her hands. There were three chains binding the book, all three had padlocks without keyholes. She set it down on a nearby table and held her lantern above it. The flame was beginning to grow again as she gazed at the hope in her hands. The first padlock opened and the chain fell off. With a furrowed brow she gazed down at the book now slowly revealing its secrets. Now for the middle. She picked the book up and hugged it tightly to her chest where her heart beat, whispering words of encouragement and hope to herself, hoping He would break through the Censor and help her. Her heart beat with love for what could be for the people she cared about. The second padlock opened and the chain fell off. Now for the bottom. She stared at it. Nothing happened. She sat and thought until the night turned into the same dull, rainy day. Nothing.

Jess stood by the window as she watched the people wear their blindfolds and went about their empty lives, carrying their empty lanterns, constantly observed by the Enforcers in their jet-black uniforms, carrying their clipboards and heavy batons. An unkempt man with a shaggy beard and tattered clothes wandered between the people, begging for someone to help. No one stopped or even acknowledged him, almost like the problem didn’t exist. The man carried no lantern and wore no blindfold. Two Enforcers marched up to him, beat him to the ground, and dragged him away, never to be seen again.

Tears streamed down Jess’s cheeks as she watched helplessly from the library window. She took out the letter from her bag and read it over and over, carefully examining it for a clue. Her eyes widened and then she folded up the letter again and slipped it back into her bag. She dried the streams trickling down her face and took a deep breath, steadying her nerves. Holding the book tightly under her left arm, she climbed out of the window, taking care not to catch her foot, for doing so would be her end. She tiptoed back round to the front of the library, keeping to the shadows as best as she could. She crept towards one of the houses and opened the door. She slowly crawled inside and over towards a man sitting in a still and silent room with bare walls and only a single small table in the centre. She ripped off his blindfold and lit his lantern from hers. The man’s eyes widened as he observed his surroundings for the first time in years.

The third padlock opened and the chain fell off. She took the book from under her arm and opened it. On every page were the same scribbled words: ‘Light and I shall see. Speak and I shall hear.’

“Jess,” said the man. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you’re still here, Liam.” Jess said as they warmly embraced.

“I heard about Auntie Val. I’m sorry,” Liam said.

“Well, she helped me figure this out. Will you help me finish it?”

Liam nodded and picked up his lantern, steely determination reigniting his soul’s long-lost hope.

Jess and Liam skulked out of the house and split up, going into the neighbouring houses, taking off blindfolds and lighting lanterns, reminding them of colour and the way everything used to be, reminding them of the things they had been forced to forget. One by one, blindfolds fell off and lanterns burned bright.

As people ventured outside with their sight unobstructed and their lanterns sharing their warmth everywhere they went, the Enforcers grew weaker until, one day when all the people’s lanterns were lit, they burned and vanished into piles of ashes.

The rain stopped and the sun began to shine again. People stopped and smiled as they spoke, others wept at the state of the world, and others still shouted until the powers that be could do nothing but listen.

Jess walked through the sunny streets, past pubs and meeting houses now teeming with laughter, past the Grand Library full of curious people relearning what it meant to be alive in a broken world, until she came to the man she’d been looking for all this time. He was sat on the bench by the pond, watching the ducks swim freely, glowing with a smile. Jess sat beside him.

“I’m here,” he said softly. “I never left. All it took was one small act of kindness.”

Jess smiled.

“Your mother asked me to tell you how proud she is of you,” the man continued. “Now, give me a hand, will you, and light the rest of my Creation, one person at a time.”