What it Would be Like. . .

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we'd just done what they'd asked us to?" I sat on the balcony of my apartment, doing my best to soak up the sun, but finding only a chill in its place.

My neighbor, Edward, turned to me. He had a quizzical look on his face as though he didn't quite understand my question. "What d'ya mean?"

"I mean, if we had all stayed indoors, would things have gotten as bad? Would we be free now instead of having to wait months before things are deemed safe again?"

He tilted his head before taking a sip from his martini. Edward had taken a liking to drinking during this time; he claimed it helped disinfect his body from the virus. "Dunno. 'Spose we'll never find out now, anyway. I find it best not to dwell in the past. Only ever led to more trouble, in my opinion."

"Yeah, well, I've never really taken your opinions to heart."

"The incessant pop concerts have been enough proof of that." He joked, not daring to meet my eye.

"And what do you suggest I do instead, eh?" I gazed down at the empty streets below. "There's not much keeping me sane nowadays."

"I've plenty of silent alternatives. Do you want me to list them all?" Edward didn't wait for an answer. "You could read, try to bring those dead plants back to life — though, I wouldn't dream, Lass — there's always cooking too long as ye don't burn the complex down with ya."

I slowly tuned him out, fantasizing a world where we'd heeded the warnings.

Children would still be playing in the streets, humming old tunes from folk songs passed down by their ancestors. The roads would be filled with cars, and the subsequent traffic would be noisy and obnoxious instead of nonexistent. My family would surprise me by coming over for lunch or bringing a treat from our favorite bakery. The world would be up and running, the same as it's always been. Maybe I'd have even found a boyfriend by now. It wasn't like my mother didn't harass me about it enough.

In the end, though, things would merely be comforting in the fact that they were habitual, something that had been the norm for years. This sudden change in lifestyle was terrifying, making me feel out of place and at home at the same time.

How could I get through one more day of being locked up in a place that barely fit my dorm room furniture? How could I stand having to trust the government that'd always seen shady in the first place to support me in a time where I could no longer support myself?

It was different, yes. But I'd just have to push through. One day at a time, one step at a time. Hell, we could see the other side of this. What was all the fuss about? A few more months and it would all be the same. The familiar routines would return, and things would be alright, right?

"If you could have told yourself one thing before all of this," I prompted Edward. "What would you have said?"

He thought about it for a second. "Probably would've warned myself that Hendrick's isn't as good as I thought it was. Stock up on Tanqueray No. 10, stat unless you wanna risk your life heading out to get something better."

"You wouldn't have said anything supportive? Just 'get yourself some better gin?'"

"Seems like the right thing to do. Why, O' Mighty One, what inspirational words o' wisdom would you have bestowed 'pon yerself?"

I stared up at the sky, waiting for the sun to peek out from behind the clouds. "Don't know. But, maybe, something more along of the lines of 'it's all going to be okay,' or 'tell everyone you know what to do now so that we won't feel the repercussions later.'" Letting out a sigh, I continued. "I just wish things had never gotten this way, that life could have continued as is if not improved."

"We all wish for things like that, Lass. If we didn't have hopes and dreams, the world never would have gotten where it is today. This is just a minor roadblock on the way to a better future." He looked directly at me. "If ye really want to do yerself some good, you'd stop thinking 'bout what it would be like, and start thinking 'bout what it could be like. The past's in the past, like I said. But, the future, well, that's yet to come and what it ends up being is up to you, me, and the rest of the people on this godforsaken planet."

My brows furrowed in contemplation. "Edward, how is it you come up with the most philosophical ideas and then make fun of me for trying to do the same. Even better, where do these ideas come from?"

He raised his drink. "A little alcohol's never stopped me from being eloquent. Swear to Almighty it's the only thing that makes me such. Perhaps, I can disinfect a few bottles and send 'em over? You know you want to let loose."

"Think I'd rather come up with deep statements sober rather than drunk. That way, I might remember them."

"It was worth a shot. Anyway, to answer yer question — even though it goes against everything I just preached — is I think it'd all be the same. Things probably would have been just as bad, because that's just our luck. Plus, even if we managed to get the majority of people to follow orders, it's in our nature to rebel. Someone would have gone and screwed the whole thing up for us."

"You're probably right. If I had to bet, it'd probably be a boomer—" Edward gave me a look. "—only because, as a millennial, it is my job to throw them under the bus in the same way they do to us all the time. Sorry, not sorry, no plague will ever end the Great Generation Feud."

"You're a strange Lass, ye know that?" He glanced up before smiling. "But I think the world could use a little more of your hope."