Dare to Dream

“I dare you to kiss her,” Katarina says, “Kiss Lyddia.” 

I already turned down her previous dare, so I have to do this one. I look at her, not unhappily, and lean in to kiss Lyddia. The moment our lips touch, I wake up.  

My eyes open and I’m scared for a minute. Where am I. But then I remember, and it’s all okay. I’m at my friend’s house, since, you know, sleepovers. I think I had a nightmare, that’s why I woke up. I stand, carefully, trying not to wake anyone up, and feel a wave of dizziness wash over me.  

“Woah,” I whisper, teetering, “Ok, I’m ok.” I’m not talking to anyone, just myself. I tip-toe over to the bathroom, and pee as quietly as I can, feeling my face heat up. I don’t know why I’m embarrassed of this stuff, but I am. I look at the clock that is next to me, high up on the wall. It’s 6 am. Personally, I’m quite surprised we didn’t end up staying up later than we did. Well, I think, at least 6 isn’t too early. As I make my way quietly back to the place where we were sleeping, I stop by the little kitchenette and take out a little bottle of coffee and a handful (or 2) of candy from the giant bowl that’s sitting on the counter. I grab my phone and put in my Air Pods and scroll through Tik Tok.  

Half an hour later, Lyddia starts to stir. She’s probably the prettiest out of all of us. Us being Katarina, Trinity, Lyddia, and me. But literally, Lydy is the prettiest. I’m not just saying that, it’s true. She’s also probably the nicest. She gently sits up, squinting at the slivers of light that have started to come through the curtains. She crawls over and sits next to me.  

“Hey Mel, how long have you been up?” She murmurs. 

“Uhm, I dunno, a half-hour, maybe,” I whisper, checking the clock on my phone. She nods. Then she smiles wickedly.  

“Let’s wake them up.” She laughs. I shake my head.  

“They will kill us,” I say, also laughing, “Not smart.” But nevertheless, we walk around, singing, dancing, and shaking the other two. Only Trinity wakes up and immediately sighs and whacks Lyddia’s legs.  

“Shush.” She says, obviously annoyed. Lyddia giggles, sitting down near my pillow. She pats the space next to her and I come over. When I sit, she leans her head on my shoulder. I suppress the urge to kiss her. We stay like that for a bit. Then take some selfies with the sleepyheads in the background. Then she says, “Let's go on a walk.”  

We tip-toe out of the house, careful not to wake anyone up. After all, I don’t think the parents would be pleased to be woken up at 7. As we run through the quieter side streets of the city, we talk, laughing.  

There’s a little park a few blocks away that no one ever goes to, except our little group. But now it’s just Lyddia and me. I have butterflies in my stomach. The last time we were alone together was in 5th grade. When it was just us. Lyddia and Melanie, Melanie and Lyddia. Now we’re in 8th grade. We haven’t had a sleepover or hung out just us. Not since then.  

Oh god. I really want to kiss her. I gulp, scared, yet excited of what could happen. Lost in my thoughts. 

“Truth or dare?” Lyddia says out of the blue, startling me out of my fantasy.  

“Uhm, truth?” I say. 

“Would you rather go out with Brent or Carter?” She asks. 

“Neither,” I reply, laughing, “I’m lesbian, remember?”  

“Yeah, I know,” She says smiling, “So then it maybe makes it less serious? Asking you which boy you’d like more so I can’t tease you.”  

I shrug, “I guess so. If I had to choose though, I’d choose Brent. He’s nicer and more fun to hang out with.”  

“Agreed.” 

“Truth or dare.”  

“Dare.”  

“Sing a song.” 

I can tell she’s a little confused. It’s been so long since I heard her sing. I want to hear it again. When she does, she sounds like an angel. She starts singing. I know she loves to. When I realize what she is singing, I wonder if it has any meaning. If she’s singing it to me. 

“Wise men say, 

Only fools rush in, 

But I can't help falling in love with you. 

Shall I stay? 

Would it be a sin? 

If I can't help falling in love with you? 

Like a river flows, 

Surely to the sea, 

Darling, so it goes, 

Some things are meant to be. 

Take my hand, 

Take my whole life too, 

For I can't help falling in love with you. 

Like a river flows, 

Surely to the sea, 

Darling, so it goes, 

Some things are meant to be. 

Take my hand, 

Take my whole life too. 

For I can't help falling in love with you. 

For I can't help falling in love with you.” 

She holds the last note until it’s so soft I can’t hear it. I can’t move. I can’t tell if I’m crying or sweating, maybe both. She turns and looks at me, tears glistening on her pale cheeks. Someone walks by but we’re in our own world. Together. My hand moves slowly to caress her hair, tucking it gently behind her ear. She wipes away my tears with a soft hand that smells like flowers.  

Her other arm wraps around me, drawing me close. She smells so good, like flowers. As the sun’s warmth shines down on us for the first time that morning, the inches between our faces close, and we kiss. We kiss. I’m kissing her. She tastes sweet, like the candy we were eating this morning. We kiss beneath the light of the morning sun, so bright, so cheerful. And when we finally break apart, hand in hand, we rise, ready to face the world. The world which will oppress us, support us, crack us, and put us back together. The world that is so unforgiving, yet tolerant and compassionate. The world with dark spots, but also bright spots that feel as though you are in a bubble, a bubble that will never break.  

All I know is that everything will be okay now because I have her. She is my morning sun, the stars, and the moon at night. My guardian angel.  

As we walk back to Katarina’s, she asks, somewhat apprehensively, “Should we tell them?”  

I nod, “Only if you want to, if not, it’s our little secret.” I kiss her cheek softly. She smiles, and as always, I feel the tingle I always do.  

“Let’s tell them. No secrets, okay. Between us.” She says. I give her a thumbs up.  

Trinity and Katarina’s reactions are the same. Squeal, laugh, congratulate, demand that we not break up because it will ruin the group, and sigh romantically. This is followed by lots of laughter and smiles. All the time, though, I can barely focus because there is a fire in me. A light, a love, that will never go out.