Bad Math Will Kill Ya

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Went to see the doc today.  He’s concerned about the weight gain, but we agreed that a couple dozen pounds isn't surprising, given I did quit smoking.  Yeah, that took a few years longer than I planned, but I’ve been tobacco free for three weeks now - yay for me!  

I could only do a minute or two of the treadmill test, so he wants me to start with a simple goal, like ONE sit-up.  Can you believe it? Something about if I make it small enough, I can’t talk myself out of it.  Well, challenge accepted, doc!  I’ll start with one, but I'm no wimp, I'm gonna double it every day.  When I come back next month, you’re gonna be in for a shock!

P.s.  Did my one sit-up before bed, it wasn’t too hard.  Getting up off the floor was harder.  Decided to just sleep down here.

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

I feel a little stiff from sleeping on the floor last night, but the doc was right, it felt like anyone can do ONE sit-up, and I sure don’t want to suck at what anyone can do.  Same with two, right?

P.s. Did two today.  I feel those ol’ abs working.  Woo-hoo!

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Gotta sleep in my bed tonight.  Two nights in a row on the floor and I feel worse than I did before I went to the doctor.  There doesn’t seem to be any change in my waistline yet.  Not giving up, though.  Gonna do my four sit-ups early so I still have energy to get up off the floor and into bed.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Ah, I feel so much better since I made it off the floor and into bed last night!  Still feel that ache in my abs, the one people call ‘a good ache’.  I mean … I guess?  If good means it’s my body’s way of letting me know I'm using actual muscles? Then yeah, I guess it’s good.

P.s. Eight sit-ups under my belt! (Now let’s just hope I can tighten that belt a bit soon.)

Friday, March 5

Went out for drinks after work.  Did my 16 sit-ups when I got home, but it made me vomit. Crawled to the bathroom in time, but just barely.  No more after work drinks, Richard! At least until you’ve dropped some of this weight!

Sat March 6

Got smart and got my sit-ups out of the way early.  Well, that was my plan.  32 sit-ups is a lot.  I did 10 before breakfast, 12 before lunch and 10 more just now.  It’s early still, not even dinner time, but I’m not hungry.  Going to bed as soon as the water for my hot water bottle is ready.

Sun 3/7

Oh my god my abs hurt.  End of my first week and I’m so proud of myself! I actually lost a pound, and I can get my finger in the waistband of my jeans.  This is working.

Sixty. Four. Situps.

3/8/10

So, learned the hard way that my co-workers don’t really appreciate my dedication to this new regime.  I was going back to do five situps in the break room every hour.  I could tell by lunch it wasn’t going to be enough to reach 128 sit ups by the end of the day so I tried to do 50 over lunch .  Apparently I got the floor a little slick - can I help it if my back gets sweaty?  Anyway, Gladys should have been more careful.  Can’t blame me that she slipped.

Ps got my situps in even though it meant going to bed an hour later than usual.

3/9/10

Called in sick today.  I overslept, but I feel caught up now.  Actually knocked out my first hundred situps before lunch.  I can feel myself getting stronger. Also figured out that I can go a lot faster if I only go up half way.

Later: ugh.  Doing all 256 at once probably would have been better.  I think the 2nd and 3rd session got progressively harder.

10th

Set my alarm for two hours early and actually knocked out 200 before work!  Didn’t have time for a shower.  Some bratty kid held his nose at me on the bus.  Screw you, kid!  I’m probably in better shape than you are!

Ps barely got the other 312 done by midnight, but I can honestly say I’m doing it.

ThuRSd

Got up before it got light. Starting to think doubling wasn’t such a good idea.  Called in sick again.  Took me a couple of hours, but I did 1024 situps.  Can’t eat.  Can’t drag myself into the shower.

green

couldn’t move this morning.  my stomach feels crampy.  called in sick again.  going to sleep more.

Later: woke up around noon, diid my effin situps over a couple ofhurs.  they’ re even hardr in bed

? Okay I finally did the math in advance. This will never work. By the 20th I’d have to do over FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND SIT-UPS A DAY!!!! What the heck was that doctor thinking?  Taking the weekend off, then I’m going to see a new doctor.

Sunday, 3/14

Feeling much better today.

Monday, 3/15

Saw a new doc today.  She said I don’t need to overdo it so much.  She thought maybe walking might be better for a while.  After I got home I did the math ahead this time.  If I want to work my way up to a marathon (which is 26.2 miles)  by the end of the month, I can start with just a tenth of a mile and double that every day and I don’t even have to start until next week!

Monday 3/22

Did my .1 mile, piece a cake!

Tuesday 3/23

Two tenths of a mile, no prob!

Wed 3/24

Felt so good I did a whole half a mile today.  A little winded but it’s only been about a month since I quit smoking, so no surprise there.  I think I found the right doctor.

Th 3/25

I think work is about two miles away, so I walked what I think was a mile and caught the bus the rest of the way.  Shins are a little sore today.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Turns out work is more like four miles, but I thought it was two so I tried to walk it. Then when I realized I was going to be late, ran the rest of the way.  Don’t remember much after falling through the front door.

My neighbor Jeannie brought some stuff to the hospital for me - my pajamas (what kind of hospital doesn’t carry extra large pajamas?!), my cell phone and keys, and this journal.  This new doc says I’ll probably be able to go home tomorrow, but I’m not sure I trust doctors anymore.

Tuesday, March 30

Well, finally home again, settled into my comfy chair with my feet up.  Stopped and got some smokes and a bottle of Yukon Jack on the way home.  To hell with exercise.   Gotta find a new goal.