A gods love

I was coming home for the winter. To my little rural town in Japan.

My parents were delighted with the news. And once I arrived, they greeted me at their small little inn and onsen.

{Speaking Japanese} “We kept your bedroom just the same!”

My mother exclaimed.

“Oh you didn’t have to do that, mom. Isn’t it taking up space?” I was very fluent in my English from studying in America. It was a habit now to speak it.

“No, no! Never!” My mother’s accent was heavy amongst her words. But her English was getting better. She embraced me, she was warm against the cold winter air. A comfort I haven't felt in years.

“Studying is going well, yes?” She grinned.

“Yes” I didn’t have the heart to tell her I dropped out. Especially after all the money and support they put into me going to university in the US. I had found a passion in ice skating, not on a professional level. But that was the dream.

“Would you like to go see Haru? He’s where he always is.” My mother smiled at me solemnly as I nodded.

I found myself in my bedroom, a large dog laying on my bed. I stroked him gently, and he excitedly started licking my face.

“Hey Haru!" I laughed.

I’m sorry I wasn’t here, old boy." I sighed, petting him on my lap.

“You're finally home, huh?” My sister came into the room, leaning against the sliding doors with a cigarette in her mouth. She was twelve years older than me, being at thirty-five.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“Are you gonna help at the inn?”

“I don’t know yet.” I said

“Well, you better. I’m getting married soon. And I can’t work here forever.”

“You’re getting married!? When is the wedding?!” I exclaimed.

“Keep it down!” She extinguished her cigarette and slid the door over to sit next to me.

“Your english is getting better.” I smiled

“Yeah. Happens when your fiance is from the US.” She

“Shut up.”

“No way.” She sneered.

“Do I know him?” I questioned

“I don’t think so. Here.” She took her phone out of her sweatpant pocket and showed me the illuminated screen after scrolling a bit.

I didn’t know him. I shook my head.

“He’s cute though. I may steal him” I taunted

She laughed, “You're so gay sometimes.”

“I’m bi.” I corrected it with a laugh.

We sighed, both glancing at the framed photo.

“I need to get back to work, little bro” She stood up, giving me a noogie before she left.

__

I unboxed most of my belongings by 9pm. My room didn’t look any different from when I left. Not even a speck of dust.

I let out an exasperated sigh, stretching and cracking my back from the days trials and tribulations. This was better than the flight here though.

As I was walking down the hall, I saw a white blur. What almost looked like a cat. I followed it, to no avail. So I ignored it and headed downstairs.

“Mom? Did we get a cat?” I asked.

“No, no. We no get cat, Maybe stray? Doors always open.” She said

“Sit, sit, I got your favorite dish.” She said, ushering me to the main room. The tv was on, and a few guests were sitting watching sports.

“Thank you, mama.” I said, as I took a bite of the fried shrimp from the Tempura udon. My taste buds were lit up in flames from excitement, I missed this.

Soon the inn and onsen was closing, and my parents and sister were scattering trying to get the last things of the night done.

I found my father washing some towels by the onsen

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

“No, Go take a dip in the hot springs for me. Will you?” My father insisted.

The weather was perfect for the steamy water. I sank up to my neck, letting the water melt away the guilt and this miserable feeling off my shoulders.

And there it was again, the snowy white cat. Sitting on the rocks with a swishing tail. It’s piercing turquoise eyes staring into my own brown ones.

We locked eyes for a good few minutes, before it ran off into the bath house entrance

“Hey!” I exclaimed, wrapping a towel around my waist as I chased after it.

The steam made it hard to see anything, other than an older man washing himself on a stool. He turned to look at me.

“Did you see that cat? Where did it go?” I asked

“What cat? Oh boy, you have enticed the gods for sure.” He was very gaunt, with bony limbs.

This alarmed me a bit, but I brushed it off and went to change back into my clothes.

The next few days consisted of the same thing, the cat disappearing and reappearing. It looked too well groomed to be a stray.

The next time I saw it, I followed it.

“Mom, I'm going out.” I called.

“Alright! Make sure to grab coat, it's snowing!” She said, and I ran out the door to follow my feline friend.

My boots slid against the freshly shoveled snow. The feline seemed to blend right in and I kept losing track of it.

I found myself running through the streets, till I reached an overgrown area. Pushing through the snowy tree limbs and gate I found nothing but a barren temple ready to collapse. Snowy dead vines climbing up its concrete pillars and walls as an overgrown chinese elm hung overhead.

The cat ran into the temple, and I couldn’t help but follow. The snowy feline sat on a statue as I walked closer. And was engulfed in blue light.

“Hello, Yuuji.”

A pale man sat in front of me, his striking turquoise eyes and his calm countenance made me feel at ease yet intimidated. He had the looks of a man, yet the delicate movements of a woman.

“Who are you?” I asked, a little shaky.

“No need to be afraid. I am…I don't know who I am.” He shrugged

“Do you have a name for me?” He asked, curiously

I thought for a moment.

“Haru. I’ll call you Haru.”

“Like your dog!” He grinned.

“How do you know about my dog?” I asked, perturbed he knew about him.

“I’ve been watching you since infancy. I know all about you, Yuuji. I’ve taken a fancy to you. You’ve endeavored so much and are so strong!” He removed himself from the statue and came closer to me. I shivered, but not from the cold air as he put his hand on my cheek.

“What do you want?” I said, sheepishly and quietly.

“I want you to stay with me. Live your life with me. Well. Not your life, per say, because you’ll be dead.” He pursed his lips. I took a few steps back to distance myself from him.

“What?! No!” I was aghast. “How could you just…say that?!”

He walked to the statue and sat down. He pouted.

“But Yuuji. Your frail human life is nothing to be compared to my everlasting one. We could explore the cosmos together! Visit from Europe, to Ireland, to even France!"

I guess he could tell I was a little taken aback, because he sighed.

“You humans are thinkers. Philosophers. You always think and worry about what's to come. Your death is meaningless.” He said “I’ve been stuck in this prison of loneliness forever! My followers forgot about me and tossed me away!” He let out a dramatic sigh as he draped himself on the statue.

I could feel tears prick in my eyes, either from what he said or the cold. The guilt overwhelmed me almost.

“Why do you have such a cold disposition? I was with you through it all and you left too- I!” He noticed the big fat tears rolling down my cheeks and sat up.

“Oh no. Don’t cry.” He held my cheeks in his hands as he wiped the tears with his cold fingers.

“I don’t know how to fix this…Should I just kiss you or something?”

“No!” I exclaimed, slapping his hands away.

He backed up.

“I’ve done too much to die now! I have dreams, hopes, and a family!” I cried,

“But you live in such an oppressed world and I just want to save you from this frail wretched form..I don’t want to be the villain.” His look softened.

“Do you even know what it's like to lose it all?!” I yelled. And he looked at me thoughtfully, yet confused.

He ushered me to sit down with him, and wiped my ugly tears.

“I do. I understood at one point.” He sighed. “I died, I fell through the ice skating long ago. And I was given eternal life. Why? I don’t know.” He cupped his hands at his lap

“I don’t remember much. I don’t remember my mother, or father. Or if I had any siblings or a dog like you.” He peered over to look at me.

“Being around you gave me that again.” He said quietly. “I don’t want to guilt trip you, Yuuji. It's your choice. But I'm going to disappear soon if people don’t remember me.”

I just remember hugging him, and him hugging me back.

The resolution we came to was, once I died, I would stay with him. But for now, I helped get his temple fixed and no longer leaning precariously. The plants were also trimmed down.

I spread the word on him. Soon people began to come all around the country to visit his temple. And he was thriving.

For me, we stayed together. He was staying with me as a cat, and every now and then in his usual form. It took up a lot of energy to be a cat everyday, he’d say.

We soon found love, and once I died, we were one.