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Dear Diary,


There she was, once again the beautiful girl I’ve been drooling over for months now. One of the kindest, sweetest people I’ve ever encountered with. She’s genuine, funny and beyond words. I’ve never experienced this, ever and it’s the most remarkable feeling in the world. When she enters a room, my heart leaps out of my chest, I get nervous and I’m unable to talk. Her big brown eyes looking up at me with her innocent beautiful smile, she’s truly one of a kind. A heart made of pure gold, if anyone looks closely, they will see she has a halo hovering over her head—she’s that amazing.

               As cliché as this may sound, she’s the first person I’ve ever been in love with and hopefully the last. I don’t want anyone else but her. The way she speaks with patients, the way she makes sure everyone is okay—God, she’s perfect. When she came up to me today to make sure I had everything I needed, I just smiled like an idiot. When she smiled back at me, I knew at that moment I wasn’t just having a small plain crush, I was in love with this woman and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But she was terrifying at the same moment. I mentioned how fierce she was. I wasn’t exaggerating, anyone who steps at her the wrong way, she knew how to handle herself, but she did it in the most elegant way.

               I’m a doctor for God’s sake, I should pull myself together. Just when I thought I have, she would give me a small wave with her beautiful smile, and I’d feel like a complete moron unable to breathe. At the end of her shift, I caught her just before she left, and I finally had the courage to tease her. We even have an inside joke together. Does she not realize what she does to me? Does she not know that I’ve never been infatuated with anyone before as much as I have with her? I didn’t believe it was possible to have so much love for someone and here I am, being a complete fool. What do I do? Do I tell her? I’m frightened to, what if she doesn’t feel the same? What if sees me just as a coworker, not even as a friend.

               I placed my hand on top of hers, her face turned red and she slowly pulled away. Was she shy? Did she hate that I slowly made a move? But our hands felt like they were perfectly made for one another. I’m in love, love. The puppy kind of love, the one where I might go as far as take a bullet for her. The way she makes me feel must be illegal. The way I feel needs to be illegal.

               I just realized I haven’t said her name, yet. Maybe that’s for the best. She’s short, but not in a bad way. When she stands beside me, I love how she looks up at me with a small smile, her head tilting slightly to the side. When she asks if I have everything I need, if I need anything else; I feel like it’s more than her simply doing her job. She cares. Maybe, about everyone—most likely. But. She cares. Everyday she has new earrings, her hair always changed either curly down, a small bun, a ponytail. Every two days she changes the color of her nail polish. I know when she is about to enter a room because her heels begins to click on the floor.

               Its as if she was created by God, himself. That He took the time, slowly making her as perfect as she is. You might think I’m exaggerating that no person is as perfect as her. But, I’m truly not. She has every person in the room staring at her. I wish I was kidding, the competition I have is insane. The amount of men (and maybe even women) that have flirted with her, asked to marry her—right in front of me is heart-wrenching. Whenever she kindly smiles at them, playfully shooting me a “help me” look as they do this, calms me. Playfully, I would enter myself in the conversation and change the subject—playing the role of her hero. I can tell she loves it. The way she smiles up at me when I do this, her small giggle when she knows exactly what I’m doing.



Dear Diary,


Today is the day, I’m going to tell her the way I feel and the way she makes me feel. I’m nervous but I know that it will work out for the best. I can’t keep it inside anymore, it’s easier. How do I tell her? This is my first time telling someone how I feel. What if she doesn’t feel the same? Oh god, what if she slaps me. She doesn’t seem like a hitter, that I know of. My luck she pushes me down a flight of steps. Note to self: Stay away from steps and possibly sharp objects.


We’ve gotten closer, ever since she moved down to my department. Isn’t that a sign? She had a very bad first day and I was, once again, the hero who saved her. We had several car accidents submitted all at once and she wasn’t entirely sure what to do due to her supervisor not giving her enough training—so, I helped. I was her lending hand, she looked like a newborn puppy; lost and scared. When the day was over, I caught her head down on her desk, and I smiled at her and said, “At least we got to become friends.” When she lifted her head up, a small smile escaping her lips, it was heavenly. “Oh, after today I would like to think we are best friends.”


She owns my heart and honestly my soul.




Dear Diary,


Today’s our wedding day.

I’ve never been so happy.

So, in love.

And so lucky to have met someone who has changed my life completely.

In our culture, when getting married, I ask for her hand in marriage. Her father loved me, and her mother adored me.

She is truly the most magnificent woman I have ever laid eyes on.

She’s brilliant.

Funny.

Kind.

Gentle.

She’s truly the love of my life.

Do you know how people believe that we have past lives, if that is true, in each life I hope she was in it. I hope I find her in each life and get to marry her in each one of those lives. I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with her. To be the father of her children. To be the person she calls when she gets bad news. To be the person she calls when she gets good news.

Did I tell you she’s a brilliant writer? And oddly graduated law.

Her poetry soothes me, it’s beautiful.

She’s truly breathtaking.

Do you know how people believe love at first sight? This was more like I found my soul mate at first sight. The moment I saw her, I knew, I knew that I could not (and never want to) live a moment without her.

I get to wake up beside her.

Go to sleep and she’s in my arms.

Be the reason for her beautiful smile.

I’ve never been so thankful in my life to be able to have someone who makes me so happy, who makes me a better person and makes me hopeful.




April 06, 2020 14:08

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