When You've Got Friends Like Mine...

When You’ve Got Friends Like Mine…

Austin is pissed. He is probably making more noise than necessary when shutting the cabinets, but his anger must go somewhere. Screwing on a smile he comes back to the living room where Delia and Mark are giggling like teenage girls. Austin imagines them doing the same thing fifteen years earlier. As he silently sips his lemonade, Austin thinks, “I don’t know why I agreed to do this. She’s, his friend. Why didn’t the two of them just get together. I suppose it’s my own fault. I have been a little bitchy about all the phone calls, but doesn’t she have other friends? And she seems to feel it’s OK to paw at Mark while they’re talking. I don’t think there’s anything to it but it’s a bit rude if you ask me. I have nothing to say here. They’ve been friends for so long, they practically have their own language. They keep rehashing their past experiences and I’m just left out. I wish he’d try to bring me into this. I mean wasn’t this the purpose of having her come over to our place so that she and I would get to know each other better? She hasn’t asked me one question. When I mentioned that my book of poetry was just published, she didn’t say she’d love to read it. Even if she didn’t want to read it, it would have been the polite thing to say she would. I can’t imagine that neither of them isn’t sensing that I’m sitting right here but not part of their dialogue. How insensitive! I’d leave but I’d just come across as petulant. Am I? I don’t think so. They should be making an effort to include me. I shouldn’t have to shoehorn myself into their conversation. This is high school all over again where my best friend is dating the captain of the lacrosse team.  Frankly nothing they’re talking about is all that interesting but it’s just the principle of the thing. If I make too big a deal about it,then I look like I’m jealous of their relationship. I would suggest we watch a movie or something together, but they want to catch up. I wonder if I went into the other room if they would even notice? Maybe I should really pay attention and every time they refer to a person or an incident I don’t know about, I’ll ask a question. Nah, I’m exhausted just thinking about doing that”.

Delia feels like she’s stepped into a time machine. Her rapport with Mark is just as it was fifteen years ago, while they were holed up in her bedroom listening to Panic! At the Disco and crushing on the same boys. Delia treasured the fact that she was the first person to whom Mark came out. But beyond that, they had a connection which kept them in touch all these years. Even though they hadn’t been in the same room for seven years, it was if they had just each gone away for the weekend separately and came back to dish. Delia is thirsty, but she is so engaged with talking to Mark that she doesn’t take the time to drink. “I’m having so much fun”, she thinks.” I’ve missed him so much. I don’t think I realized how much till I saw him again. He’s so in love with Austin and I’m happy for him. But it just makes me treasure the time we have together so much more. I don’t have any friends like Mark. No one I can talk to, the way I talk to him. I’m just so comfortable with him. And we have so much shared history together. Those memories are gone if I don’t share them with Mark There’s no one else  in my life now that I have that with.I have the sense that Austin hasn’t spoken for a while. I feel a little funny about that, but I feel like if I turn around and try to include him it’s a little forced. Anyway, if Mark felt it was important, he’d say something. I don’t know why I should feel badly. They have each other’s company all the time. Anyway, Austin is an adult. He could show some inquisitiveness or suggest something else if he feels left out.

“I knew this was a mistake”, Mark thinks. “I can see Austin stewing and trying to hide his annoyance. I really thought it would be a good idea to invite Delia over. She could get to know Austin. I just wish Austin could be more relaxed about my relationship with Delia. I don’t think he’s jealous, like sexually, but this day is turning out to be less about the three of us and more about just two of us. I’m not even listening to Delia now, I’m so preoccupied with what Austin is thinking about. I forgot how handsy Delia can be. Not that Austin would be concerned, but…I’ve got to find a way to move the conversation into something that we all can participate in”. Mark drinks more of his lemonade, less to quench his thirst, but more to buy some time to figure out how to change the dynamic of the energy of this trio. He listens carefully for an opening to re-direct or change the conversation, but nothing presents itself. Mark looks at Delia and then at Austin and now feels like there’s a ticking clock. “I love Delia”, he thinks, but she doesn’t stop talking. She hasn’t taken a breath in ten minutes. I’m going to have to find an opening to be proactive and redirect the day, or after she leaves there will be hours of silence, followed by passive-aggressive behavior, until I fall on my sword and admit I didn’t know what to do. I’ve got to play this right. If I leave the next move up to them, Delia will opt for the status quo, and Austin will just say “whatever you want”. I have to say something before Austin suggests something sacrificial and we’re all embarrassed”.