A Dog's Journal

March 13, 2020

Dear diary, 

Nice to meet you. I'm Bailey. A couple things you should know about me before we get started are that I love my person, Julie, and I'd do anything to protect her. Today's Friday, which means she'll be home with me all weekend! We go on walks and play fetch, and we're best friends! Nothing can go wrong, right?

See ya tomorrow,

Bailey

March 14, 2020

Dear diary,

Today Julie's taking me on a car ride to go pick up her friend. I don't like him much. He's always grumpy. And he smells funny. Almost sweet, in a tangy way. But Julie seems to like him, because he comes over a lot. He was upset with her for some reason today. As soon as he got in the car he started yelling at her. The ride home wasn't as fun as the way there.

Bailey

March 15, 2020

Dear diary,

Wayne spent the night again. He does whenever he comes to our house. I heard him yelling at Julie some more late last night. She kept screaming at him to stop, but I don't know why. I don't think he did.

Bailey

March 16, 2020

Dear diary,

Julie didn't leave this morning like she usually does. But she seems happier than when she comes home every night. So I'm okay with it. Plus, it's more time for us to hang out. Wayne left this morning, but he said he'd be back. I don't know what he did to Julie the other night, but it can't have been good. She cried a lot yesterday. If I wasn't such a good dog, I'd bite him in a choice area to give him a piece of my mind. 

Bailey

March 17, 2020

Dear diary,

Julie stayed home again today. I hope it stays like this. We go on extra long walks now that she's here. Wayne came back last night smelling like he always does, but more intense. Julie wasn't very happy with him. I wonder why she's still friends with him. When he's here, I'm not even allowed on the couch. He yells at me if I get too close to him. Man, I really wish he wasn't so mean. 

Bailey

March 18, 2020

Dear diary,

Julie stayed home again today. I think this is our new normal. I'm not complaining. Wayne is though. He drinks nasty-smelling drinks all the time and gets mean afterwards. He laid down next to Julie on the couch and tried to take off her shirt. I was really confused until I heard her screaming "Stop, please stop, no, no, stop!" I'd heard that before. Just a couple days ago. He was hurting her and it's my job to protect Julie. So I did. I tried pushing him off with my nose, but that didn't do much. He swatted at me and he got me in the nose. That was it. I bit him. I bit him good and hard, right in the butt. He was really upset about that. He got up and kicked me in the side. It hurt, but I tried not to show it. I guess Julie didn't like that one bit, so she threw his stuff out the door and held it open until he followed. She gave me a fancy dinner, but I didn't need it to feel better. I'm just glad Wayne's gone. Hopefully for good.

Bailey 

March 19, 2020

Dear diary,

I thought Julie would be happier now that Wayne is gone. If anything, she's more upset. She hasn't gotten out of bed yet, and it's already past time for our walk. I brought her my leash when it was time, but she just hugged my neck and sobbed. I let her. She's sad. My best friend is sad and there's nothing I can do about it. When she let go, I climbed in bed with her. Sometimes all I can do is be there. I hope she knows.

Bailey

March 20, 2020

Dear diary,

Julie stayed in bed all day yesterday. She was sad all day. She got up once to go to the bathroom. She was in there for a while. She's still in bed now, and she has cat scratches on her arm. We don't have a cat, but maybe there was a raccoon or something in the bathroom. Who knows? I hope Julie starts feeling better. I can tell she's really hurting. 

Bailey

March 21, 2020

Dear diary,

It's Saturday, Julie's favorite day of the week. She got up today, which I thought was good news, but she didn't take me for a car ride or a walk or anything. She told me to stay and she'd be right back. She came back with a lot of the bottles Wayne used to drink out of. They smelled sweet and sour and soon so did she. I was scared she would get angry at me like Wayne did. Instead, she stopped crying. She started laughing, and she seemed like she was happy again. But those bottles are bad news. I think she knows it too, because when she went back to normal she started cursing at herself for buying them.

Bailey

March 22, 2020

Dear diary,

There were more cat scratches today. They looked deeper. I don't know what kind of fights she's getting into with those raccoons, but either way, I'm supposed to protect her. I went into the bathroom, but I didn't smell any animals. Instead I smelled metal. A lot of metal. I don't know where it came from, but I'm still worried. Things seem to be getting worse.

Bailey

March 23, 2020

Dear diary,

Julie got up again today. She didn't get any more of the bad drink, but she still seemed sad. She made breakfast for us both, and boy, was it good. She ate a lot of food, which is good cause she hasn't done that lately. But then she got back in bed and stayed for the rest of the day. I wish I could do something to help her.

Bailey

March 24, 2020

Dear diary,

I don't know why Julie's been at home for a while, but I wanna fix it. It's making her sad and I'm supposed to protect her. It's my job. I don't know what to do, because she gets sadder every day. I'm starting to get sad too, and what good would I be in helping her when I can't even help myself?

Bailey

March 25, 2020

Dear diary. 

I think Julie's in trouble. Jim, another one of her friends, visited today asking her to pay rent. She told him she can't, that she doesn't have a job right now, and he said we have to leave. Julie can't deal with that right now. She's too upset. She told me she was sorry. I wish I could tell her there's nothing to apologize for. 

Bailey

March 26, 2020 (part 1)

Dear diary,

Julie said she was "done with this." Done with what? She kissed my head and apologized again. She's crying, and I want to help. But I can't. I've tried, but I can't tell her she'll be okay. I can't.

Bailey

March 26, 2020 (part 2)

Dear diary,

I didn't do my job. I didn't protect her. I was so worried about trying to fix her that I didn't protect her. I don't know why she apologized to me. I was the one who should've apologized. For not protecting Julie from herself. She went to the bathroom again, but she never came out. I went to go check on her and I found her. I wanted to save her, but deep down I knew it couldn't happen. I never knew I could feel as bad as I did right then. So, before they take me back to the shelter, my final words to you, Julie, are thank you. Thank you for giving me a second chance at life. Thank you for being my person. It was an honor being your dog.

___

author's note: this is kind of a sad and dark story, but it's loosely based on a true story