Accepting Fate

It is like Callie is still here. Even though she is not. And it is my fault. All my fault.

I haven’t gone out in months. My hair is messy, my clothes are dirty, and I stink of B.O. I don’t care. I haven’t moved any of Callie’s stuff. It hurts even to look at her things. Whenever I do, I start having flashbacks…….

3 months earlier

My girlfriend and I were walking to the park. Her name is Callie, and in my opinion, she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. We were going to the lake with Jason and Carrie. Carrie is Callie’s twin. 

Even though they are twins, they have completely different personalities. Carrie is like a tomboy, doing everything the boys do, while Callie was more timid and caring. That is probably why I picked her to be my girlfriend. Yes, I had to pick. They both had a crush on me. I already knew I would pick Callie, but I didn’t want to hurt Carrie’s feelings, so I pretended to have a hard time picking. After I picked Callie, Carrie wouldn’t come out of her room. I finally got her to come out by introducing her to Jason. Now, they are a happy couple as well.

When Jason and Carrie saw us, they started waving excitedly. They were jumping up and down, and screaming our names. Suddenly, Carrie lost her footing, and she tumbled into the lake. I just stood there, dumbfounded. Callie tried to get me to save her sister, but I was in shock. Callie decided to jump in herself. Whenever I came back to my senses, it was too late. God has taken both Callie and Carrie. 

Back to now

Jason took the loss better than I did. He came out of his room 2 weeks after the incident. He has been trying ever since to get me to come out too. He is about to get his wish, because summer vacation is almost over, and we will have to go to work soon. Before then, I just want to mope in peace.

Summer vacation is officially over. I will have to go to work tomorrow. I decided to get used to the outside again. I invited Jason to come with me. He was overjoyed. “Wow,” he said. “You are finally coming outside!” We took a walk to the park, but whenever he was walking towards the lake, I stopped. “I know you are hurting on the inside, but you will have to face the music sooner or later. Let’s just get it over with.” Jason said. I hesitated. I never want to go to the lake again, but I didn’t want Jason to think I am a wuss, so I went. 

Whenever I got there, I stared at the lake for a long time. Then, a wave of tears hit me, and I couldn’t stop them. The floodgates opened, and I can no longer hold back the tears. I wept. Jason tried to comfort me, but it didn’t work. I just miss Callie so, so much. I wish I could just jump down the river and join Callie on the other side. I know that is foolish, but I really want to. The only thing stopping me is Jason. If I die, he would have no one.

“It is okay.” Jason said, “Just try to forget about her.” Forget about her? FORGET ABOUT HER?!?!?!?!? How can he be so heartless? I was so mad, I just left. I bet he already forgot Carrie. He doesn’t even care about Carrie and Callie. I hate him.

Today, I have to go to work. I work as a teacher, which is why I have summer vacation. I really didn’t feel like dealing with the troublemakers today, so I sent them all to the principal's office the second they screwed up. Suddenly, one of my students asked me, “How is Callie?” I was at a loss for words. I didn’t want to answer, so I just ignored him. He kept asking, so I had to tell him. “Callie died.” I said, trying not to cry. The student opened his mouth, then closed it again. I really did not feel like teaching anymore, so I just let them have free time. 

I went to the teacher’s lounge, and cried. Callie used to be a teacher too. She was the favorite teacher among the students. The students must have been sad to hear that. But not sadder than me. She was my first, and will be my only girlfriend. 

After school, I decided to go to Callie’s cemetery. It was a hard decision, but like Jason said, I might as well get it over with. I went over there, and I couldn’t help it. I cried again. I cried more than I have ever cried before. I suddenly felt sleepy. I decided to sleep next to Callie.

In my sleep, I dreamed of Callie. I started running, but no matter how fast I run, I cannot catch up. Callie opened her mouth to speak. “You will not be able to catch me. I am just here to deliver a message,” she said. “I love you, and always will, but you have to give up on me.” “No!!!!” I screamed. “Never!!!” “I know you have a hard time doing that,” she replied. “But whenever you are sad, just remember. I will be in your heart, and in your soul, always. That is all I have to say. I wasn’t even supposed to be able to talk to you, but God has been touched by my love. Whenever you wake up, please consider my words. Goodbye.”

When I woke up, I felt renewed. I have decided to accept what happened, and move on. I know that was what Callie would have wanted me to do. Of course I would not be getting another girlfriend, but I have accepted the cold truth. I looked up at the sky. Full moon tonight.