"What a Guy, That Gaston!"

Who does she think she is, refusing me? I’m slick and quick and manly and intimidating. I’m strong and handsome and practically a king. I eat five dozen eggs every morning! I’m the best at everything! If I asked anyone to marry me, they’d say yes. 

Except her.

Any woman would be truly excited if I paid attention to her, but Belle doesn’t understand how lucky she is. It’s those books she’s always reading. They’re making her think. Thinking is never a good thing. They fill her head with the idea that she doesn’t need me. Ha! She should be grateful that I care about her. 

She humiliated me today. She rejected me, she threw me in the mud in front of the whole town! Me! Gaston LeGume! I’m not a pig, but she still sees me as one. Can’t she keep an open mind?

But she refuses to, so I decided to try things her way. She loves books, so I’m writing a book of my own. Then I’ll give it to her and she’ll see how great I really am. If LeFou reads this, he’ll insist it was his idea to write down my feelings, which it was not. I thought of it before he said it, so it was my plan all along. 

LeFou can be full of himself sometimes. 

-GASTON LEGUME

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I went to the tavern yesterday and LeFou cheered me up with a song. Naturally, I’m an amazing singer (as I am at most things), but his squeaky voice made the performance less enjoyable. Maurice, Belle’s crazy father, came running in at the end of the song, saying Belle was locked in a castle dungeon by a beast. He said it was enormous, with fangs and a long, ugly snout. 

Obviously, I was worried about Belle’s safety, but I didn’t show it. On the contrary, I took the situation with grace and dignity. Most things I do involve grace and dignity. 

Maurice is... how can I put this delicately? He’s insane. He’s constantly imagining things. This “beast” is probably just a figment of his dying imagination... but I should probably find Belle just to make sure.

-GASTON LEGUME

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I searched the woods alone yesterday, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Maurice said she was trapped in a castle of sorts... but I couldn’t find a castle, much less a ferocious beast. It must not exist, because if I, the finest hunter in the town, can’t find it, no one can. 

I borrowed a book from the Book Man yesterday, to see if I can understand why Belle loves to read. I read a few pages. There are a few difficult words, like ‘egotistical’. I do wonder what that means. 

LeFou came up with a plan to get Belle to marry me today. I’m not sure what it is, but LeFou seems to think it’s genius. He said to just leave it all up to him.

I came up with a plan to get Belle to marry me. I’m not going to say what it is, in case the genius of it makes this book explode. 

With LeFou’s my plan in action and writing this book, Belle is sure to see how amazing I am. 

-GASTON LEGUME

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I finished the book today. I think... 

I think I understand why Belle loves these books so much. It’s about a man who climbs a beanstalk and faces a giant. I was reading it at my house, and when I looked up, there was a giant in front of me, mumbling about smelling an English man. It was like magic. 

I think I’m going to get another book tomorrow. 

LeFou seems really excited about his plan. He still refuses to tell me what it is. I’m confident in the plan I thought of. I know exactly what it is.  

I hope it works. 

I know it will work.

-GASTON LEGUME

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I finished the second book I borrowed from the Book Man. It was about a princess who was in love with a villager. The princess was pretty and charming, but she was mean. She only cared about herself. She thought she was incredible, but she was just a pretentious coward. The man was handsome but somewhat odd. He loved books and hated the woman. In the end, they both got their happy ending when the princess switched places with the man for a day and saw that she needed to be a better person. 

When I gave the book back, the Book Man said that Belle wrote that book. He said that she was inspired by me. 

Then I realized that I was the princess in that story. At first, I was mad. She made me a princess? I’m the furthest thing from it! Princesses are dainty women with pink dresses. I’m strong and burly and manly-and a MAN! 

But now I think it’s a symbol. That I’m the princess and Belle is the villager and that Belle, like the villager, doesn’t want to marry the princess. 

But there’s a difference between me and the princess. 

She doesn’t care about the villager enough to change.

But I do. 

LeFou finally told me about his plan. He’s going to We’re going to commit Belle’s father to an asylum until she agrees to marry me. Maurice has been rambling more and more about the beast who’s kidnapped his daughter, so it’d be easy to get witnesses.

I’m going to give this book to Belle next time I see her, so I’m just going to say it.

I’m sorry, Belle. I didn’t mean for it to go this far. I’ll ask LeFou not to do this. 

But this doesn’t excuse my behaviour in the past. 

I’m sorry, Belle. 

For everything. 

-GASTON LEGUME

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I asked LeFou if we could stop the plan. LeFou said I should continue, that if I really loved Belle I’d do anything to have her. I told him to stop the plan, but he insisted. He said that everyone would think I was scared, and that it would wreck my reputation. He said that everyone would think that I was weak, and it’s true. 

Please don’t blame LeFou, he’s just trying to help. He’s the most loyal person I’ve ever met, and he’s just trying to protect my reputation. 

But I gave in. 

You must think I’m terrible, Belle, choosing my reputation over you. 

I’m sorry.

You might’ve thought I changed, but there’s still a part of me that’s self-centred and needs approval. 

I don’t know what I’ll do... but I’ll figure something out. I promise you.

When you and your father come home, I don’t know what I’ll do... 

I’ll have to go along with the act. 

Believe me, the last thing I want to do right now is cause you pain. 

I’m a weak man, Belle, despite everything. 

Please forgive me. 

-GASTON LEGUME

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I should’ve said no. I should’ve been strong and risked my reputation for Belle, but I wasn’t, and now I’ve done something terrible.

 Belle and Maurice came home today, and I went along with everything. I told her to marry me or I’d send her father to the asylum because he’s been blabbering that’s she’d been kidnapped by a beast. 

I only looked in her eyes for a second, but it was the worst second of my existence. I was never good at deciphering emotions, but she was hurt. And angry. So angry. I couldn’t blame her. I was angry too.

I’m so sorry, Belle.

I have no idea what that must’ve been like. My father died when I was four. I don’t even remember his name. 

My mother, Marie, died when I was ten, and I was raised by my uncle Harry. And even he left when I turned eighteen. I don’t have anyone I care about the way you care about your father. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the hurt you felt.

Belle refused my proposal.

I had no choice but to go along with the plan. I walked away, bringing her father to the wagon. I heard Belle’s footsteps running frantically to the house. 

I would shove Maurice in the wagon, I planned to tell him to escape. I would pretend to lose balance and fall onto the other person, and Maurice would be free. Then I would order everyone not to chase him. I would say it wasn’t worth it. But I never got a chance to put my plan into action.

Belle’s smart. She had a plan of her own. She ran out of her house, a mirror in her hand. She shoved it in our faces, screaming that her father was sane and that she was taken by a beast. Our reflections were replaced by a lonesome creature. He wasn’t vicious at all. 

He seemed defeated. 

Somebody asked if it was dangerous and Belle perked up. “Oh, no, no,” she blabbered, eyes filled with a dreamy sigh. “He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend.”

It felt like she’d stabbed me in the heart. From her words to her tone to the dreamy look in her eyes, it sounded like she was in love with this beast. 

I didn’t know what emotion I was feeling but it made me want to scream. In a moment of pure pain, I turned bitter. Careful to mask my true sentiments under the facade of a joke, I laughed, “If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.”

Through gritted teeth, she told me I was the monster. 

And maybe I was.

I couldn’t run. I couldn’t. It would wreck everything everyone thought of me. But I needed to find whoever had stolen Belle’s heart. 

Maybe ‘stolen’ isn’t the right word. She’s made it quite clear that her heart isn’t mine. It never has been. And now it might never be. 

Yes, I changed, but am I too late?

I told LeFou to make sure that Belle wouldn’t follow me. I didn’t want her to stop me, because I knew she would think I’d kill him. That was never my plan.

I found his castle easily, though the last time I tried to find it, I couldn’t. Just as I reached the gates, I heard footsteps behind me. 

LeFou came running to my side, his mouth in a broad smile. I tried my best to smile smugly, but I’m sure at least some of my horror shone through. 

Behind LeFou was nearly the entire village, carrying pitchforks and flaming torches. When they saw me, they cheered, screaming, “Kill the Beast!” 

I couldn’t get mad at LeFou for trying to please me. He was just doing what he thought would help. He couldn’t have known that I just wanted to meet the Beast, to see if he really was as good as Belle said he was. 

To see if he was good enough for Belle.

I’m in too deep now. 

I have to get to the other side.

I just hope that Belle will be there. 

-GASTON LEGUME

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I... don’t know what happened.

I went up to the balcony where the Beast was. I don’t know what I was planning to do, but when he saw me, his eyes widened. “You look just like him,” the Beast said. “But that can’t be. He’s dead.” 

“Who?” I asked, tightening my grip on my bow. 

The surprise in the Beast’s eyes quickly hardened into hatred. “My father.”

The Beast sprung up, the fire in his eyes blazing. “You turned me into this! You were the monster, and you turned me into a beast just like you!” The Beast stepped closer to me, mouth twisted in a snarl. I shot an arrow into his shoulder if only to make sure he didn’t attack me. He let out a groan of pain. 

“Listen to me. I am not your father.” As I said this, I stared into his strangely human eyes. I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d seen them before. 

The Beast took a few shaky breaths before he apologized. He said his father was a terrible person and just the sight of him made him sick. “After my mother, Marie died, he became bitter and cold. He was a monster.”

He kept talking, but I was stolen in a flashback. 

Those eyes... 

I knew those eyes. 

My mother’s name was Marie. 

I looked like his father. 

One of our parents died when we were young.

And his eyes...

Their familiarity was like something out of a dream. 

A memory flashed before my eyes. I was young, only four. My mother was arguing with my father. A baby waddled up to me. He had copper coloured hair and blue eyes... 

The eyes of the Beast.

“Ga-ton,” he babbled, and I took his tiny hand in mine. 

“It’ll be okay, Adam,” I whispered, giving the toddler a hug.

Then I was back on the balcony, facing my brother. 

My bow fell to the ground, and I quickly picked it up, all the while gazing at the Beast.

Before I could explain why I was staring at him, Belle was there, at the bottom of the castle. She must’ve thought I was trying to kill him, because she screamed, “No!” 

“Belle,” the Beast whispered. “She came back.” 

The Beast shoved me to the side, running to Belle. 

And now I’m just sitting, here, debating what to do. Sure, it’s childish writing at this time, but I need Belle to read this. 

I don’t know what to do, Belle. Obviously, you’re in love with the Beast. 

My brother.

Adam. 

Part of me wants to scream. That part of me wants to kill the Beast out of jealousy. But I know that I can’t win you over that way. 

I just need to see you one last time, Belle. 

That’s all I want, and then I’ll leave.

-GASTON LEGUME

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I’ve never seen this side of Gaston before. Now that I know how hard he tried to change for Belle, it makes me feel even guiltier than before. Everything he wrote about me being his loyal and his best friend... I wish it were true. 

I’m writing in the book Gaston had been obsessed with for months so that I can admit the weight that’s been lingering on my shoulders for years. 

I don’t understand why he liked Belle, of all people. I’d always admired her, having the courage to show her true personality like I never did. I’m ashamed to confess that I’d thought we would end up together, that one day I would be able to summon the strength to tell her how I felt, and that we would find out that we had a lot in common. We would fall in love and get married and live happily ever after. 

But then Gaston fell in love with Belle, and all the feelings I had towards her had to go. 

Gaston was my best friend. I had to help him impress the girl of my dreams. I wouldn’t give up my best friend just for a girl that only knew me as “Gaston’s stupid friend”. 

I never meant to sabotage Gaston. I thought I was helping, I swear.

I never would’ve done any of those things had I known he didn't want me to.

If you ever somehow read this, Gaston, I’m sorry. I just want you to know that I never would’ve done anything. Our friendship was too important.

And if Belle ever reads this, then... 

Well, you can see why I never told you about my feelings. At first, I was too scared, and then Gaston became the perfect excuse to never speak to you. I hope you have the happily ever after of your dreams.

So there. There’s my confession, Gaston. I’ll get this book to Belle if she and the prince don’t toss me in the dungeon on sight.

I wish I could’ve told you all this in person, but... you can’t very well confess to a dead man, can you?

~LeFou