CAN You Keep a Secret?

“Can you keep a secret?” asks your best friend Charlotte as you are playing on the middle school’s blacktop during recess. You have to think for a moment. You have never been the ideal choice to be entrusted with a secret before. You think that you are trustworthy enough to keep a secret, but can you? You think of the first time that you were told a secret, when you were 3. You told everyone in the family within minutes, but that was just youth. Surely you have matured by then. Right?? You take a deep breath and reply,

“Yes, I can keep a secret.” A breath of relief escapes Charlotte’s lips. However, you feel terrified, what if you really can’t keep a secret? 

“Okay so you know how it’s my birthday really soon…” she begins with a grin.

“Yeah”

“And I’m inviting you to my party! It’s going to be the biggest, best, birthday party EVER!” You think for a moment. How is this a secret? I know that you never tell people who weren’t invited to a party about the party. Also if it is a big party, then the whole class is probably invited. Then you notice the look on Charlotte’s face, it looks a little sad.

“What’s wrong?” you ask her.

“Well, you see, my parents are only letting me invite 5 people to it because it is really expensive.” she replies sadly.

“Oh” you say kind of getting worried now. Charlotte then tells you who she has invited, all of the people invited were pretty nice but then you realize that another best friend of yours, Ivy, isn’t invited. You gulp. 

“PLEASE don’t tell Ivy I didn’t invite her. She is really nice but she isn’t in my best friend circle.” says Charlotte looking worried. You now understand the worry on Charlotte’s face. It feels like there are butterflies in your stomach. You know that Charlotte trusted you and you nod feeling you can’t bring the words to your lips. Charlotte expels another sigh of relief. The bell rings and you and Charlotte, along with everyone else, line up for lunch. You get your lunch box and carry it over to the table where you normally sit. You see Charlotte walk over and take the seat opposite to you. You open up your lunch box. Inside is a blue thermos full of tomato soup, a container that has garlic bread inside, a spoon, an apple, and several napkins. Ivy comes over to your table and takes the seat next to you, and your insides wriggle like worms. You abruptly get up from the table to microwave your lunch. You hear the small beeps coming from the microwave as your lunch comes out, steaming. You trudge back to the table and pretend to busy yourself with your soup while Ivy and Charlotte are having a polite conversation. However you notice Ivy giving you sideways glances while you are eating. You gulp, the warm soup trickling down your throat. You must not tell the secret, Charlotte’s trust and maybe friendship along with Ivy’s feelings are on the line if you can’t keep one small secret. But then if you do keep the secret, Ivy’s feelings will be protected, and Charlotte will trust you and still be one of your best friends. Your mind is racing and you barely hear the bell ringing signaling class starting. You numbly line up and go to your next class. The rest of the day whooshes by and next thing you know, you are on the bus, headed home. You are in your normal bus seat when your stomach drops. Ivy normally sits next to you on the bus! Sure enough, Ivy slides into the seat next to you.

“Hi” Ivy says with a wave and a smile.

“Hello” you mutter back. Ivy gives you a calculating look.

“Something is wrong with you, your palms are all sweaty and you look dreadful.” she says. You look down at your palms, they are covered in a sheen of sweat. You look at your face in the bus window, you do look very pale and scared. 

“Out with it, what is bothering you?” Ivy says. You look at her a second and then back at the window. Charlotte’s voice echoes in your head. “Can you keep a secret?” 

“You can tell me, you know, I’m your best friend. I’ll understand. Please don’t keep secrets from me.” Ivy pleads. Images swirl up in your head. Charlotte glaring, Ivy sobbing, both of them leaving. And there you sit, friendless. 

“I can’t, Ivy, I can’t tell you.” you blurt out. Covering your mouth Ivy stares at you.

“Tell me what?” she aks. You make a small noise in your throat. One more minute talking with Ivy will make the secret bubble out of your mouth like hot wax. “Can you keep a secret?” echoes in your head louder and louder. You hear the bus tires squeal to a stop and you can’t take it anymore. You spring up and bolt to the front of the bus. Before the Bus Driver can say anything, you are out of the door, running down the street. You hear Ivy and the Bus Driver’s voices yelling your name but you keep on running. You eventually make it home and are panting when you hear a knock at the door. You cautiously open it and there is Ivy standing in the doorway. She looks concerned and hands you your backpack which you accidentally left on the bus. 

“You left this. I don’t know what has happened to you but I want the old you back.” Ivy says and then closes the door. You slump down on the couch and empty your backpack. “Ivy wants the old me back” you think to yourself. “The old me WILL be back after the party.” Then you think about Ivy, it is not fair to her that you act odd so that she feels like you hate her. Images of Ivy deserting you swirl up in your mind while dozens of Charlottes are around you and Ivy chanting Can You Keep a secret? Can you keep a secret? You clutch your head in agony but the voices still echo getting louder and louder. Each time it is said it hits you like a blow to the stomach. Somehow the rest of the day goes by fast and you are waving good night to your mom and dad. You walk up the stairs to the second floor. Surprisingly you have a dreamless night. You sink gratefully into the silent darkness. The next morning at school you do a good job avoiding Ivy, until recess. You are playing on the jungle gym with Charlotte when Ivy walks up to you and waves with a sad smile on her face. Once again the voices begin.  “Can you keep a secret? Can you keep a secret?” They drown out the real Charlotte and Ivy. “Can You Keep A Secret? Can You Keep A Secret?” Soon enough they are the only things that you can hear. “CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET? CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?” 

“NO!” you scream. The whole blacktop goes silent. The eyes of every person on the blacktop lock on you, but you feel like it’s the whole world. You start to hyperventilate, clutching your head and sobbing. You faintly see the teachers carrying you to the school nurse who shoots something in your arm. Then, the whole world goes black.

You wake up the next morning in a completely white room. You try to move but you can’t, a white jacket is restraining you. Charlotte walks in the room. 

“Hi” she says.

“Charlotte WHAT is happening, why am I in here?” you say frantically.

“You’re in the asylum. On the playground, you looked like you had gone insane. the nurse had to give you a sedative to bring you here.” Charlotte replies looking worried. Oh. so that is what the nurse gave me. Wait, since when did the nurse have a sedative? Just then Ivy rushes in. She looks breathless and worried. 

“I am so sorry Ivy.” you say. Ivy smiles a little.

“That’s okay, I forgive you however I have no idea why you are like this.” Ivy responds. 

“Oh, and one more thing.” Charlotte begins.

“We need to ask you something REALLY important.” Ivy says

“What is it?” you ask.

“Can you keep a secret?” they both ask at the same time with wicked grins on their faces. You scream and the world fades from around you. You come to and see Charlotte’s face. You are in the school Nurse’s office, that’s odd.

“Finally, you are awake.” Charlotte says with a smile. You nod groggily. “You still haven’t answered my question.” 

“What question?” you ask.

“Well I asked you a question and then you sort of fainted, you were out for quite a while, the teachers took you to the school nurse’s office and you just lied there for  a few hours. But I will ask the question again.” she says.

“Wait, that was all a dream?” you say.

“What was all a dream?” 

“Well...It’s a long story. So what is your question?”

“Can you keep a secret?”