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Funny


Timmy sat in his room, surrounded by cardboard boxes. He heard his parents unloading downstairs. He was used to this scene, but it never made sense. He was an only child, and his parents seemed to move from one city to another a lot. As he stared at the moving boxes, a question that disturbed him returned to his curious mind.


"Mom, Dad," Timmy began. His parents turned to face him, who were busy packing in the living room. "Can I ask you something?"


His mother looked up, a warm smile on her face. "Of course, Timmy! What's on your mind?"


His dad, holding a large, mysterious package, joined in, curiosity twinkling in his eyes. "Yeah, buddy, what's the catch?"


Timmy scratched his head and suspiciously asked. "Well, it's just... Why do we move so much?"


His parents exchanged a knowing glance, their smiles unwavering.


Mum exchanged a glance with Dad, and” Well, honey, we love to see new places and meet new people. We are very lucky.”


Dad chuckled, “And finding new hobbies.”


Timmy left.


*


Timmy was now convinced there was more to the story. “ New hobbies! Really Dad?!”

Narrowing his eyes, in his room looking down at his father through his room window, as he moved boxes to a separate house in the compound. 


*


That evening, Timmy was looking for his laptop. He loves to read. “ Maybe it is in one of these boxes.”


The first box he opened, was not labeled. He opened it with a biro pen. “ What the….”


*


Mum and Dad were in the kitchen, washing dishes. Timmy sneaked, wearing socks, carrying something in his hands, something he knew would expose his lying parents.

Mum, “Dr. Waters? The guy who can turn a toothpick into a laser beam? This should be interesting.” She said raising her eyebrows, Timmy hid behind a dark space at the kitchen door and began eavesdropping.


“Exactly. But here's the catch. We have to eliminate our target at the science convention tomorrow” Dad nodded.


“Ah, a mission with a side of PowerPoint presentations and free coffee. I love it.” Mum exclaimed.


“I've gathered all the intel. Dr. Waters will be giving a speech on molecular physics at 10 a.m. We need to get close.” Dad opened a file a showed her. She looks while rinsing.


“Excellent. I'll make sure to sit in the front row and take meticulous notes.” Mum took the file after drying her hands, and both were now looking at the entrance of the kitchen, where Timmy was hiding, leaning by the kitchen sink by the wall with a window open for nature. 


The compound had a pretty garden. The kitchen was the only room with lights on.


“Remember to be extra careful. We cannot have laser beams in the middle of a public conference” Dad laughed.


She rolled her eyes,” Of course not, I will use my poison pen.”


“And I'll be the mysterious guy in the back, pretending to be interested in the buffet.” Dad smiled and then chuckled. She knows him,” Right. Nothing says "professional assassin" like sneaking meatballs into a napkin.” They both held their breaths,” Hey be careful, he might be asleep.”


They were having a hard quiet laugh when Timmy jumped out of the darkness, like, ”AAH HUH!”


They almost died. Dad’s right hand was behind him. Like he was getting something. Mum's hand already put her offensive pose, one knee in the air, a foot ready to slap the hell out of any face(of an adult, because Timmy was just a little innocent 9-year-old boy).


*

“I knew it!”


Timmy exclaimed. They were both now standing like normal parents like nothing happened.


“You two are thieves.”


“What? Timmy?” Mum took a step forward. “Mum, Do not come any closer.”

“Timmy! What is going on? Where is all this coming from?”

Dad tried to calm the baby down. “ Why would you call your parents thieves? You know we got our own businesses to run”


Timmy thinks,” Actually, I…..I don’t really know what you two do. What do you both do?”


Mum and Dad exchange looks.


“ Well, son. We’ve online jobs. We create presentations and plan conferences.”


Timmy looks at them suspiciously. “Really?” He looks at his dad. “Yes, dear,” Mum answers.


Timmy is now confused. “ And what is this?”


Timmy removes a painting. “I think I once saw this in the museum. Why is it here?”

“ Well, son. You know very well you cannot take pictures in a museum, let alone bring the painting home. I may have committed some type of crime. I took a photo of it while no one was watching.”


“Hmmmmm!” Timmy exhaled.

“ And this gold knives and ninja-stars?” Timmy showed them another bag full of yellow metal weapons.


Mum jumped ahead, “ Baby, we are sucker for historical artifacts. These are just awesome collections.”


“And not real gold.” Dad took the bag and the painting and left.


Timmy, “ Okay.”


And what were you two talking about that ‘eliminate’ and ‘targets’ and ‘poison pen’?” Timmy wondered.



“Well, my love, we are just talking about an event. We just have a way with words. It is just for motivation.” Mum explained.


Timmy's face fell as Mum explained their love for collecting rare and antique weapons. It was all a misunderstanding, he thought.


*


Timmy went back. And Mum looked for the file. She could not find it. Dad came back. “Did you take the file?” Mum asked.


“No,” Dad answered.

“You had it. I left to the store”


“Do you think he took it?” Mum.

“ Why would he? He is just a dumb boy.” Mum punched his shoulder.

“ I am just saying he is just a kid. Kids don’t read like we did.”

“ You do know he is your kid. He will read it if he took it.” Mum said.


Dad looked around and saw it by the door.

“Ah, There it is!”


*


Meanwhile, Timmy finished reading the terms and conditions page. He was astonished and afraid simultaneously. No one was going to read the terms and conditions of a job. No one would notice. Unless….


*


“ Honey?” Mum looked at Dad.

“Where is the ‘Terms and Conditions’ page?”


September 06, 2023 07:18

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