The Grey Matter of a Cosmic Obsession

I never wanted this. I never wanted to be consumed by a spaceship, all alone in the middle of nowhere. This is not what I wanted. I wanted to stare at the lake, another moment of peace before chaos erupted.

20 days ago

The beginnings have always been disputed, from Ptolemy to Copernicus. Flat vs. Round. We have seen it all. We know what the world has to offer. We know all the little secrets. We know the revelations of past centuries -- the things they have handed. But, what we don't know is the future. How does the Earth look from afar? Is it really a blue sphere with a homogenous mix of white clouds like our ancestral fathers once said?

Present

Those questions lead me here. In this space machine. The Nova X-Reacher, fancy much. My incompetent desire of monetary value did outweigh my comfort. Don't get me wrong, learning about the cosmos is amazing, but sacrificing isn't my forte.

Brushing my teeth to eating the most peculiar foods. My life has turned a complete 180 degrees -- quite literally.

The Cosmos are said to dictate your life: personalities, qualities, and mentalities. How does a massive object control your destiny? My thoughts flooded my sanity. I had to put an end to this. I needed an answer.

If you are a greek fanatic like myself, you would have known that it was Gaia's doing. Not many people christen Gaia, instead we flatter ourselves with the more common term: Mother Earth. I was a man of originality, a man with principle, but I still had better activities to accomplish than immersing myself in a cosmic loop.

Peering into the window had seemed like an endless effort at this point. The minutes, seconds moved ahead, but I did not. Defined by measurable units, time moved forward -- a matter of ignorance to humanity. Time flows without any boundaries. No United Nations, no economic sanctions, no political conversations. Time flows through the purest path, all the way to the cosmos and back. It is humanity who does not realize this fact. This revelation. We think we know the world, but quite honestly we are a laughing stock to the Galaxies above. Whether it is seconds, hours, or days, time will always move forward in measurable units.

After an exhausting 20 days, I was ready to go home. I have given up my comfort for this journey, I was ready to let go.

“ Sir 45 minutes ‘till Earth’s Orbit.” The worn out intercoms have not spoken in 25 years, atleast that was how it sounded. Elation clouded my insane mind -- I am going home. 

40 minutes

How to Reach the Stars by Kyle Brochester laid atrociously on the desk. I had started the book 2 days ago, but the plot was boring. I felt like a kid reading this book. Who did you think I was, a baby? Explaining each and every term to an incompetant person was really the summary of this book. Well sire, I am a qualified astronaut with numerous aeronautical degrees. I am offended.   

35 minutes

Scanning the shuttle, I locked my eyes on a piece of chocolate cake. I preferred Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip, but anything better than mush looked fantastic. Fiddling through the containers for a fork served as a challenge, atlas a victory. Pounding the fork into the spongy cake was all it took for my hunger to break free. It wasn’t long until I finished the cake. This was comparably the best food I had eaten -- cake bread with mediocre chocolate icing.

30 minutes

 I could not wait much longer. I felt strangled by the devil himself. He was surely taunting my apathetic self. I did not care. All I wanted was to go home, was that too much to ask? Apparently.

27 minutes

“Sir….” I blocked Charles out.

The window depicted a grandious blue ball. As I crept closer, the image magnified before my eyes. There it was, Gaia, mother Earth, celestial being, whatever you call it. No color of blue could describe its hue. It was not royal blue, nor was it cerulean. It was its own classification. My hands trembled. I did not know what to do. I saw it. I saw the Earth. I saw what Copernicus could not see. I saw what only a few from billions saw. I saw the Earth. All our lives are domestic to a perfect sphere. All our little imperfect worlds entailed in perfect geometry. This was the true definition of perfection. With blemishes of greens and yellows, it appeared as a masterpiece. Not one Leornardo could muster, nor Picasso. The Earth had its own beauty. 

We spend hours looking down at all our little gadgets, but the amount of times we look up into the cosmos is minute. The clouds did not fill up in a homogenous pattern, rather they were scattered, sporadic, but quite whimsical. To a navy the ocean seemed vast, but up here, the ocean seemed like a mere brush stroke. Maybe Gaia was mocking us. Maybe she was relaying in our stupidity -- how we are so blind to the wonders around us. We are clouded. Our thoughts, feelings, sights, are all misjudged. We do not look at the big picture, but believe me, when you do, es muy hermosa (it is very beautiful).

10 minutes

I will only be able to see her for 10 minutes before I enter her world. Of all the things I could do, I chose to look out the window of my shuttle. I chose to cherish these 10 minutes by staring into her glossy reflection. I chose to admire her, to immerse myself into fantasy, and to pity my life.

Entering Earth’s Orbit

Adrenaline sprouted through my bloodstream as I descended to Earth at a blasting speed. Coming down from the cosmos has opened my mind to our corrupt society. Up in the clouds lies a serene world -- something that humanity is jealous of. I know I regretted this trip, but people do change.

My mind was never content with its answer, but all the insane curiosities dissipated. It was not the peace I relinquished at the lake, it was her beauty reflecting at me.