What Will You Do?

“So what’s the plan, boss?” But I’m not listening. All I can see in front of me is a constant loop of every way someone could die because I didn’t know any better. Well, a simulated loop anyways. “Boss-are you even listening?” I snap my head up and flick off the sim, the blue holographic light disappearing from the walls around us along with my thoughts.  “Sorry, what were we talking about?” I replied tiredly. We’ve been at this all day. “We were just saying that we could try to go in through the south entrance instead of-” “The north one yeah I remember that part but do we have any developments on the disguise situation?” The rest of the group pauses, exchanging glances that varied from guilty to worried. “uh… we haven’t quite figured that part out yet… But don’t worry, don't worry! We have Kendra and Leon working on that right now right?” Ace pushes them to the front of the group. Kendra nods along enthusiastically, looking back at Ace for confirmation. He gives her a thumbs up. “So don’t worry about that part one bit boss cuz we-” “Have no idea what we’re doing?” The room fell silent all at once. “Y-yeah pretty much” Ace shrugged his shoulders, looking around at the group, as if he was hoping for someone to step up with the answer we’ve been searching for for the past 3 months. “Well the lease we can do is figure out the landing coordinates ok? Everybody work on that and we’ll meet back here tomorrow. Great job today everyone,” Chairs scrape the floor and the sound of friendly conversation ensues as the room slowly empties. I wear my best fake smile until the last person has left the room, and then my head drops to the table, the cool metal surface pressing into my cheek. “Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” I groan, “whywhywhywhywhywhywh-” “Boss?” I snap my head up, and drop it back down once I’ve identified the figure emerging from the back of the room “Not now Ace” I had thought he left with the others. Apparently not. Getting up in everyone else’s business was kind of his thing. He moves a step closer, leaning forward to peer at my slumped form on the table. I thoroughly consider getting up and kicking him before I realize I don’t have the energy. It seemed like I never did lately. It must be all this planning. “Everything ok?” he hesitates. I peek at him through the curtain of hair that has formed around my face. “Fine yeah. I just have no idea how to make this” I gesture at the tabletop, switching it on, somehow not surprised to see that it’s still playing it’s holographic scenes “Work. We have literally no time left and absolutely no leads. Not to mention we can’t actually ask anybody about this because we’re essentially trying to take down the country’s central form of government aka a flawed monarchy. Even if we had years to plan this insane expedition I’m not sure we could or even would be able to change anything I just…” I sigh, focusing my attention on the mini warriors facing off on the second identical table to my left, and then to the holographic palace behind them. I wave my hand through the structure, feeling the electricity ripple across my palm. The palace still stands, as arrogant as the person who lives in it. “It’s like no matter what we do, what I do, it’s not going to impact anything” I move my hand away from the table’s surface, eyeing the mini guards outside it’s doors like they’ve done something to personally offend me, which actually isn’t far off. “I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn't stop it then, but I want to stop it now.” I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to remember a different time, when I would have found what I was doing traitorous and wrong. Now I couldn't care less. “I just don’t know what to do. I can’t lead all these people into a situation where I know they’re just going to die” I shake my head, looking up at Ace. “I can’t do it. I can’t put my friends in danger like that. I-” “I know how you feel” he starts, interrupting me. For once I’m grateful for the distraction. “I think you forget sometimes what I do. I’m a general, Cassie. I’ve led all kinds of people into war knowing that half of them wouldn't come out of it alive. I could have backed out.” I eye him curiously. “Ok so I know I did back out eventually” he babbles. “But I’m still a general, even if I don’t serve who I once did” he says, eyeing me right back, something unspoken passes between us. “I could have retreated just to save all of those people. But I didn’t. And not because I'm selfish or anything, but because I knew that no matter what we did, even if we didn’t win, we would be making just a small difference. I didn’t do it for me. I did it for everyone who came after who would be able to say that their warriors didn’t go down without a fight. So that they would feel safe in their homes and their villages for years to come. So that they would speak about their country with pride, instead of having to live under another country’s rule with the shame of loss pressing against their hearts. These were some of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. Now that you’re here, making these same decisions, what are you going to do?” I gaped at him, open mouthed and moved by his surprisingly motivational speech. It was so out of character from the snarky and confident Ace I knew. I guess the past couple months have changed all of us in some way. He gestured back at the blue palace that was floating just inches above the table. “What will you do to make sure they remember you?”