Contest #179 shortlist ⭐️

A Midnight Silence

Submitted into Contest #179 in response to: End your story with a kiss at midnight.... view prompt

35 comments

Fiction Romance Sad

The home was dimly lit. Lamp shades spilled a muted light over a navy and white oriental rug in the living room. A television screen flickered a faint glow into the darkness.


A woman sat on a shabby couch. Her summery auburn hair hung like a flowing river across her shoulders. Deep blue eyes flecked with emerald were fixed on the screen ahead. A countdown timer sat in the corner; 11:52 PM it read. In a purple bowler hat and a green tie, an aged gentleman — with a jesting crowd behind him — filled the screen. A large sphere, lighted and sparkled, trended down a solid mast towards the gathering crowd, their cheers growing louder with each passing second. 


In the shadows of the room, a man crept, watching the woman patiently. A bubbling urge of wanting to be close overwhelmed him. He needed to get to her before midnight. The man slithered gracefully towards her in the dimness of the light. Her attentive gaze rested on the descending sphere ahead, unaware of his silent movement.


From his hiding place in the shadows, he saw her face. It looked sad, worn, and tired; as if her vivacity had been slowly drawn out like thick syrup, oozing from a glass bottle. Even still, he was captivated. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had an unexpected brilliance that shimmered beneath that grim visage, a setting sun behind thick clouds. The woman seemed familiar as if they once had a chance encounter in a marketplace in days past. But the murky experience quickly dissolved into the darkness of the room.


He scanned the living room. The walls were hung with tapestries and impressionist artwork over a faded cream wall. The floor was finished with aged dark hardwood. Overhead, a ceiling fan circled as slowly and gracefully as his serpent-like movement. At the center of the room stood a worn, wooden coffee table made of walnut, its glass top littered with books. A peculiar brown book, faded and fatigued, was positioned at the table’s center. At the corner of the coffee table, a single photograph was propped up in a silver frame


He felt comfort in this place. It had a familiarity to it. Like an old forgotten home, which was not recognized until returned to and experienced. It had a warmth, a radiant glow that couldn’t be felt, but he sensed was there. He was lost here, but at home.


Returning his gaze to the coffee table, he was drawn mysteriously to the brown book, its spine frayed from years of handling, its pages ruffled. Gold intricate lettering was drawn across its cover; Wuthering Heights. An image twinkled in his mind’s eye. A flash of a scene drawn up from his fortressed subconscious.


A bookstore, the inside as bright as the midday sun. He turns down an aisle. The shelves of volumes are towers in a castle. He sees a delicate and elegant womanly figure; the sheen of long auburn hair of a princess floating as she spins. An ethereal face with blue eyes speckled with emerald gazes up at him. He feels the warmth of the summer sun in a flowery field.


“Have you read this one?” she says. Her voice is the sound of soft waves, gently rolling into the sand. She holds up a brown book; its spine is rigid and fresh, its pages crisp. 


He reads the gold lettering across the front. “Actually, I have. Although I don’t know if I can get around to enjoying a story with a tragic ending. When you reach the end of a good book, why would you want to be sad?”


“Well mister, you have a lot to learn. There’s more in this world than just happy endings and never-ending cheer. Sad stories make you feel. And there’s something in that feeling that needs to be figured out,” she smiles.


“I’m Adam,” he smiles back.


“Julia,” she reaches out a hand as soft as a cloud.


The woman shifted slightly on the couch and the scene faded as quickly as it arose. He was back in the dark room, confused. What was that memory? The woman in it seemed so familiar. Who was she? Where am I now? Why am I here? His thoughts continued to spin. Only one compulsion emerged with icy clarity: get to the woman in the room, the time is ticking.


Into the flickering light of the television, he stepped forward onto the oriental rug. He watched her closely. She didn’t stir; her expressionless eyes were locked on the countdown banner. 11:54 PM, it read. He felt safe.


He glanced down at his feet. They were pale, the palest he had ever seen. For how plush the rug appeared, he could not feel its softness on his feet. The navy and white markings of the rug sang to him, patterns and colors of times past. Another scene twinkled into the cloudy recesses of his memory, a moving theater of images and sounds.


He is in a living room. The sun is shining through the windows. The room is bright and full of color, and the walls are a fresh cream. There is no furniture; it is bare and open. A woman is with him, smiling. They are carrying a rolled-up rug together; she is in the front. She looks dazzling, he thinks as her long luminous hair flutters behind her. 


“Well I think this rug will make the first great addition to our new home,” she says, looking around the empty room. Her words are like honey, tasted right from the comb.


They stand on either end of the living room and he unrolls the rug towards her. As it unfurls, he notices how the navy and white oriental pattern contrasts the dark hardwood delightfully. She catches the end of the carpet and the glistening diamond rings on her left ring finger catch the sunlight and sparkle.


“Well, how does it look?” she says.


His eyes move from the rug to meet hers. He pauses to study her for a moment. He takes it in: this room, this woman, this moment.


“You look beautiful,” he grins. 


He heard the woman sigh and the images vanished abruptly. He wanted to catch them, but they slipped from his fingers like a hand moving through water. Where was I? Was that this room? Why can’t I hold on to these images? His mind was muddled. Deep within, he felt the urgency pulling at him again. I need to get to her before midnight.


Thankfully, the woman’s eyes were still fixated on the sinking sphere. 11:57 PM, the timer read. She seemed more familiar now, like an old friend that he had not seen in years. 


He snaked himself closer, as quiet as an assassin as he neared the coffee table. Glancing at it, something caught his eye; the photograph within the silver frame. In it, he noticed the woman in the room, her auburn hair flowing and blue eyes sparkling; but there were three others. There was a man. He had a smile that lit up a room with dark eyes exuding confidence. There were also two children, a boy, and a girl, both with auburn hair and the same confident dark eyes.


He paused for a moment as he studied the faces. He felt like there were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, slowly being arranged into completion. Suddenly, everything came to him in a moment. Pictures and sounds came cascading into view as if staring straight into the plunge of a fierce waterfall.


A bright bookstore, dazzling blue eyes, and a crisp brown book.


A yellow umbrella in a forested park. The rain is pouring heavily. A warm and tender feeling of soft lips meeting his.


A gentle tossing and turning under silky white sheets. The scent of vanilla and cinnamon. A feeling of blood-curling passion and intimate touch.


A beautiful woman in a flowing white dress. A bouquet of peonies and roses sat gently in her hands. The welling up of love and reverence as she walks down an aisle.


The sparkling sun shining through the windows on a clear day into an empty room. An oriental rug unfurled across dark hardwood. Two diamond rings glittering in the sunlight on a graceful hand.


The wail of a baby in a green room of a hospital. The feeling of wet tears on a pair of cheeks. An overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement for a future life.


A picnic in a beautiful meadow under a cloudless sky. The laughter of two children echoing amongst the fields and flowers. A woman lying with her head on his chest, her face as gentle as a feather, the weightlessness of her delicate hair in his hand.


A homely dinner at a kitchen table. The delightful smell of roast meat, rosemary, and baked apple. Three smiles etched on glowing faces, staring up from full plates of steaming deliciousness.


A darkening night sky, the stars twinkling. A horned moon, glowing behind soft clouds. The rumble of the road in the silent safety of a running car.


Two bright lights ahead, the squealing of tires on a wet road. The deafening smash of glass and crushing of metal. A feeling of hideous pain, tearing, and ripping.


Three bodies covered in blood in a still car. Shattered glass, the wetness of the road on a cheek, and the growing heat of spreading flames.


Intense lights in a white room. Concerned eyes behind green masks and white coats. Heavy confusion, fatigue, and unbearable pain. 


A sad smile. Flowing auburn hair, blue eyes flecked with emerald filled with tears. An enveloping darkness.


An urge to fight it. A struggle. A battle.


Letting go.


 Stillness.


He turned to look at the woman in front of him. He was close to her now, close enough to touch her. 


Finally, he understood.


“Julia,” he said, but his words were voiceless.


He looked around at the quiet home. There was no laughter or play that filled its barren halls. He looked at the couch. Beside Julia, he saw an empty depression, where someone had once sat for years on end. He wanted to cry, but no tears came.


In the quiet, he could faintly hear the voice of the man in the purple hat count down, the cheers from the crowd rising slowly with each second.


“10… 9… 8….” 


He stepped forward and came face to face with his wife. He studied her face, the sadness forever etched. He wanted to tell her that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.


“7…6…5…4” 


He thought of all the years they had spent and all of the memories they had shared. He thought of what their future life could have been, what it would have looked like. He wished he could tell her that he loved her.


“3…2…1…” 


He stared into her eyes, brought his chin forward, and placed his pale lips upon hers. He wished he could have felt something.


“Happy New Year,” he said. His words were silence.

January 06, 2023 22:21

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35 comments

Hannah K
03:25 Jan 10, 2023

What a great story! I found it to be sad, mysterious, beautiful and eerie all at once. "She had an unexpected brilliance that shimmered beneath that grim facade, a setting sun beneath thick clouds." This story contains many beautiful, descriptive sentences, but this is one of my favorites. It creates an image of a woman who is wasting away with grief, but who still retains a spark of her former happy, energetic self. Perhaps her late husband senses this spark in her because he knows her so intimately. "Sad stories make you feel, and th...

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V. S. Rose
18:22 Jan 10, 2023

Thank you very much for your commentary and excellent feedback Hannah. You understood what I was trying to portray through the story. (Spoiler Alert) The man is a ghost and is appearing on new year's eve in his home that he lived in with his wife and two children. The two children and himself are killed in a car accident, and he is witnessing his wife's sadness after the trauma. I thought it would be interesting to tell a story about someone who doesn't realize they are dead, it is slowly revealed that they are, and at the same time the em...

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Keith Maynard Jr
23:24 Jan 11, 2023

I wish to write stories with as much attention to detail that brings the stories to new heights as you have done here. Reading the spoiler at the end I had to smile. From how the memories were being told I actually came to the conclusion the man had Alzheimer's. A brilliant piece indeed.

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V. S. Rose
14:25 Jan 12, 2023

Thank you so much Keith. I have to admit the story is a little confusing at the beginning but I guess that was the intent. Slowly, as the items in his former home trigger his memories, he regains clarity and his purpose materializes. The reader goes from thinking this man is trying to harm the woman on the couch, to realizing that she is in fact his wife, they had a beautiful life together, and he is a ghost, witnessing the grief his wife is experiencing yet at the same time feels this grief himself. Thank you for taking the time to read and...

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Lisa Cornell
20:45 Feb 09, 2023

I really like how you write. I hope you don't mind me asking you some questions as a beginner! Did you study anything writing related? What helps you as a writer? Potentially, you are a natural talent but you have a gift of catching my attention and keeping me interested the whole way through and you have a beautiful way of using words. You have a new fan!

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V. S. Rose
01:30 Feb 10, 2023

Hi Lisa, thanks for reading my stories😁 I'm always open to questions! I'm not sure how helpful I will be as I am new to the craft as well. I started writing 2 months ago and these are the first five stories I've written. I have been using this platform to develop my writing skills, experiment, and hone the craft. I don't have any writing training, I just have been watching/listening to YouTube videos, reading articles, and most of all writing. I've always been drawn to creative writing (I've got an imagination that doesn't shut up and I am...

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Dakotah Brinegar
11:46 Apr 19, 2023

Im new to the craft,ive been at writing almost a year now,and i still have no idea how to write whats in my head correctly,compared to your experience rate i feel like crap now lol,you have a beatifully creaated passage,and reading about your imagination in this comment lead me to think alot of us cant think exactly that way,ill have an ideal story in my head,and make it up as i go,and if i dont like what i write i get a second opinion or ask my language arts teacher,and see if they like it.Then i move on to editing what i wrote if enough pe...

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Amanda Lieser
06:43 Jan 16, 2023

Hi VS! Oh my goodness! I am a sucker for a good romance story and I loved this one. At first, I was really scared that this was a creepy stalker story, but I pressed on none the less. I loved the way you incorporated the memories in italics and I also loved getting to feel the desire and sadness in this piece. I thought a bookstore was a perfect setting for a meet cute. Nice job and congrats on getting shortlisted!

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V. S. Rose
16:47 Jan 16, 2023

Thank you Amanda! Haha that was the intent to shift it from a suspenseful mood with a creepy guy in a room to slowly revealing that he is actually a ghost and the woman is his wife and it takes on a more romantic/sad tone. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment😁

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Philip Ebuluofor
16:51 Jan 15, 2023

Dead people. Touching one there. Congrats.

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V. S. Rose
01:22 Jan 16, 2023

Thank you Philip!

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Philip Ebuluofor
14:28 Jan 24, 2023

Welcome.

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Mary Lehnert
21:05 Jan 13, 2023

Have to admit,like a previous comment, I thought I was hearing the confusion of a man with Alzheimer’s. It would also fit until the end. So admire your descriptive words, light as a feather. A God given talent. Congratulations on being realized.

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V. S. Rose
10:42 Jan 14, 2023

Thank you Mary! Your words mean so much. I'm lucky to have your support😁

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AnneMarie Miles
20:43 Jan 13, 2023

Woohoo! Congratulations 👏🎉 I'm glad this story got it's recognition!

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V. S. Rose
10:37 Jan 14, 2023

Thank you!! Appreciate all the love and support😁

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Wendy Kaminski
17:56 Jan 13, 2023

I'm not sure how I missed this the first time around! Excellent story, and congrats on the shortlist!

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V. S. Rose
10:36 Jan 14, 2023

Thanks so much Wendy!!

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Wally Schmidt
20:47 Jan 12, 2023

While you don't understand immediately that the man is a spirit, you get the essence of him quite clearly. The story is moving and you can feel his nostalgia for that which will never again be. I was writing a story recently and I used the same sentence as you did: He felt safe. Try as I might I was trying to eliminate the filter words, but I could not think of a way to describe feeling 'safe' that the reader would get, without just coming out and saying it. Keep up the writing magic.

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V. S. Rose
02:13 Jan 13, 2023

Haha I feel the same way Wally. After I wrote that sentence, I was thinking 'that looks really stupid' but I couldn't think of anything else that could take its place. Sometimes it's the simple things that work I guess. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and comment. I do appreciate it!

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03:44 Jan 11, 2023

Poignant, and very well written. Well done!

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V. S. Rose
14:19 Jan 12, 2023

Thank you!

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Graham Kinross
01:56 Jan 11, 2023

Your descriptions are poetic. This is beautifully written. Well done.

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V. S. Rose
02:15 Jan 11, 2023

Thank you Graham!

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Graham Kinross
02:21 Jan 11, 2023

You’re welcome.

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22:34 Jan 10, 2023

Oh my goodness - this is So beautifully written! I've never seen a blue and white oriental rug - but now I want one. Your metaphors and similes are amazing. I'm looking forward to more of your stories! I'd hoped that they could have had a moment - but it wouldn't work - the ending was perfect.

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V. S. Rose
01:43 Jan 11, 2023

Consider that the next item on your furniture list😄. Thank you so much for the comments and support Patricia!

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Liv Whitt
19:45 Jan 10, 2023

This was powerful, and I have never read anything like it. It's a submission to remember. Your ideas are so unique in both this and the last story you wrote. I can't wait to see more of your stunning work 😊

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V. S. Rose
01:45 Jan 11, 2023

Thank you Liv! I appreciate the kind words and support😁 I am new to the reedsy community but everyone on here is super nice!

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AnneMarie Miles
19:01 Jan 09, 2023

Oooh this is such a beautiful and unique story. It was so mysterious in the beginning, but as soon as the memories came I started making some guesses. Him not being able to initially identify the memories threw me off, but in the end, it all made sense. You used a lot of detailed images to paint clear pictures in our minds about each memory, and the crash was probably my favorite. There was a mystical feel to this, and despite the sadness of this tragedy, the ending feels sweet. Love extends beyond life.

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V. S. Rose
18:07 Jan 10, 2023

Thank you for your kind words and support Anne Marie! It's always wonderful having helpful people like you in this community.

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AnneMarie Miles
18:26 Jan 10, 2023

I saw you're on the recommended list this morning! Looks like a judge liked this too - congratulations 🎉👏

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V. S. Rose
01:40 Jan 11, 2023

Thank you!! I didn't know that was what that meant I'm still new to this😁

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AnneMarie Miles
01:43 Jan 11, 2023

I just learned about it last week! It doesn't guarantee a rank at the end of the week - my story last week was on there but didn't get shortlisted - but it's nice to know your work is recognized. 😊

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21:37 Sep 28, 2023

A ghost, a lover, a father of her children: great idea and a beautiful way of describing the conflict of mind. Loved to read it.

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