A Journey

One foot in front of the other. One hand in front of the other. Again and again, till your hands are sore and bleeding, till your feet are bleeding and sore till, your hands cry out in agony, till your feet cry out in agony, and even then keep going. Use your arms and legs when your feet and hands are ground to bones. Never stop because stopping means something worse than the death that comes for all. Death is why I am alive and life is why I will die. I tell myself everyone is like that but when I see those children in the street playing with the biggest smile in the world, when I see the couples dancing on the street without a care in the world, when I see those haggard elders still smiling despite that any day could be their last, I know I am lying to myself. I tell myself they can’t be me but when I see those happy couples, children, and elders I know I don’t want to be me. I tell myself that despair and hardship are a necessity for society but when I see the despair-ridden faces of the people of the slums I know of another self-made lie I am not part of society. I tell myself I don’t care but when I feel the warm, wet, water run down my face behind my featureless faceplate, when I feel my legs begin to quiver and shake, when I feel the sword biting into my arms as I try to desperately give it a comforting hug, when I feel my erratic heartbeat roaring thunder in my ears, I know tha- 

One foot in front of the other. One hand in front of the other. Ignore that sharp gravel that digs into your body, Ignore the jagged handhold that cuts your hands and feet when you use them, Ignore how you can barely breathe and the lightheadedness that comes with it. Ignore, ignore, ignore, and ignore some more. Keep going, Keep climbing. You are almost there. Save the town. Lie. Save the world. Lie The dragon will burn the world. Lie. You are the chosen one only you can do it. Lie. The dragon will cause only despair and destruction. Lie. Lies. All of the words from the masters are lies. They think I am stupid, they think I don’t know that they are training others but I know I saw them training others putting them through the same torture I went through. We are not unique, just pawns used to kill what they don’t want. They think I don’t know the truth about dragons. They never burn anything without reason. The forests they burned were all sick and dying. The towns they burned were a cesspit for a plague. They help the world. They are not greedy like the masters tell us. They don’t kidnap princesses. They don’t lay on a pile of treasure. I know it to be true because the masters always lie. The town is not in trouble. The world is not in trouble. The world will not burn. The dragon will not cause despair and destruction. I am not the chosen one. I will not kill the dragon. The dragon will kill me. Death is why I am alive and life is why I will die.

One foot in front of the other. You are there. Ignore the heat radiating from the cave. Ignore the glowing hot rock burning your feet. Ignore the hot air that is drying your throat. You are there and you will die soon. One foot in front of the other. Hands on your scarred sword. Ignore the dripping liquid rocks falling on your back. Ignore the hot gooey pointy floor. Ignore the air scorching your throat. You are there and you will die. One foot in front of the other. Hands stretched out with the sword. Ignore the slightly warm still pointy floor. Ignore the now solid falling rocks hitting your back. Ignore the warm air that slightly dries your throat. Ignore the ever-color-changing gradient glowing gaze staring at you. Drop to your knees. Weakly let go of your sword. Glare at the eyes. Give a grunt of pain. Die. Die. Die. Die. . . Die. . .Die. Die? Die? Get up and grab the sword. Lunge at the dragon and stumble. Die? Why am I not dying? Why is she smiling? Why does she look human? Recover and lunge again. Miss and stumble toward her. Wait for her to stab you with her scaled-clawed hand. Wait for her to breathe fire at you. Wait for her to bash you with her jagged scaled tail. Why is she not attacking? Where is the heat from before? Why is she wearing clothes? Recover again and overhead slash at her two black horns connected to make a crown. Catch the sword between two spikes. Step forward and struggle to pull it out. Keep trying and wait to get impaled on her scaled forearm. Wait for her tail to slam into your ribs. Wait for her hand to crush your neck. Wait for her to crack your skull with her scaled legs. Why isn’t she killing me? Why is she still smiling? Why can’t I die? Fine if I can’t get her to kill me then I’ll do it myself. Drop on a sharp rock spike neck first. It is gone broken crushed by her scaled feet. Reach for the sword still stuck between her crown. Slash at her leg. Missed. Lunge at her retreating leg and stab. MIssed. Slash at her clothed hips. MIssed. Drop on another sharp spike. Crushed again. Lunge again and stab at center mass. Missed. 

Why won’t she fight back? Why won’t she kill me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I drop to my knees as my heart goes erratic. My legs feel so weak. I can’t get up. I don’t want to get up. My hope has just spat in my face and turned me away. I don't know what to do. I bring my sword toward myself to give it a hug but it is taken out of my weak limp grasp by someone. I don’t care. Someone takes my metal helmet off. I don’t care. Someone cuts the strap to my metal faceplate. I don’t care. My face is hot and wet. I don’t care. Someone picks me up by the armpits. I don’t care. Someone is hugging me. I-I-I-I do care. My body shakes and my heart yells thunder in my ears. She hugs me tighter. My face gets hotter and wetter. Tighter. I weakly hug back. Tighter. I go tighter. Once more she goes tighter but it doesn’t end. She didn’t crush my spine. She still isn’t killing me. We are still just hugging. I cry. She invaporates my tears. I cry harder. “Why,” I weakly ask. 

She simply says,” You have been through enough.”

I cry harder. Someone cares. I am not just a tool anymore. She produces a comforting warmth and I fall asleep crying, standing, and hugging.