The Soul Window

The Soul Window

Have you ever had one of those dreams that keep going on and on? I seem to have more than my share. You know the type, you dream, wake up, go back asleep and fall back into the same dream, and wake up again. You know, "running dreams" I call them. 

A weird thing is, I can never tell you the dream. Oh, I may recall one or two little details, but I can never remember the actions in the dream. It's kind of freaky. Maybe this is what the first signs of madness are like. I've always felt like these running dreams are my unconscious brain trying to communicate with my conscious self.

What in the world could that brain be trying to say to me? Anyway, tonight was another of those running dreams, and I

remember them, but I still can't portion them together. So this night, I got out of bed, and had a seat in front of my large bedroom window, and just meditate.

Jogging downstairs, I grabbed a cup of Joe and went back up to the rocking chair in front of the window. I spun it facing out and peered out in the moonless night. My bedroom was up a couple of floors in the same home I had raised three boys from.

My young bride wasn't there at the moment, because she was, well, somewhere else. I couldn't say where. But she had been part of my dreams, I'm sure of it. So I put her name on the top left of my dream notes. 

"You need to write those dreams of yours," Kim said to me on over one occasion. 

"Yes, Kimmy, you're right. I'll start doing it," I said. But I never did, and I regret that inaction now.

There is no excuse for procrastination for the ones you love, and this was another small proof of that. As I sat in the rocker, I heard a pinging as some rain began hitting the metal roof. I closed my eyes and listened. The drops were big, I could almost feel them as they struck the metallic cover.

I opened my eyes back up as the first sounds of rolling thunder permeated the air. Lightning struck close to me, sending a sort of static electricity that brought the hair on my body to attention. 

Each flash was so close, it lit the countryside up like noontime at the beach. I could make out many details of the outside with the flashes. The grass in the open field on that side of the house, the old empty tobacco barn on the far side, just in front of the wooded area behind it.

"What was that?" I said out loud to myself.

Someone was there. People were standing out in the rain. They disappeared back into the pitch-black in between the lightning strikes. I felt that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and down my legs, the same one I felt the time I had taken the family to the Grand Canyon.

That time up on the West Rim, I felt this same thing gripping me. It started in the pit of my stomach and crept down between my legs. I couldn't make myself get anywhere near the edge and had to stop about 50 feet away. I even got nervous when Kaleb began getting about ten feet from the edge. It was sheer terror.

That was the same feeling I felt with seeing the two figures during the lightning strikes. It flashed again, with even more intensity and the two people were in front of the tobacco barn this time. They were not wearing any type of rain gear and seemed to wave for me to come out.

Total blackness resumed and I flung open my bedroom door, calling for my dog, Goldie. The thought slapped my brain, where is that dog? 

"Goldie, come here," I said. Now that was strange because he always came when I called him. 

I got to wondering when the last time I had seen Goldie and I couldn't remember. Now that was an odd thing. He always stayed close to me. My bedroom door, was closed, so what was going on?

I took off back upstairs to my bedroom and the window. I looked out through the blackness. Another bolt slashed through the night sky and a few moments of vividness showed up again. The figures were closer to the house, and there was a resemblance to them and others in my memory.

Who were these two people? The thought burned my mind, and I racked my brain trying to decipher it. It was then that another question came to me, where were Kimmy and Kaleb? 

Once more lightning blasted away with its special type of daylight. The two figures had disappeared, but at the side of the tobacco barn was an excited dog. It was barking, I could see but not hear, because of the loud rain pounding the roof. The sound of thunder was deafening by itself.

It was then that I noticed my wife's flower garden. It had been her pride and joy, especially her row of roses. They were in full bloom, as were the other plants she had cared for. The reds, pinks, whites, and even the hybrid colors, had always brought her great joy.

In one flash, I looked down to the garden and was shocked at what I saw. Not a rose to be seen, and most of the plants, bushes, and flowers had been demolished from the storm.

I sat back into the rocker, fell asleep as I stared out, and entered inside that same dream. It seemed so real while I was in it, I found myself surrounded by my young bride and all three of my sons, who had stopped by to visit. 

Even Goldie was in my dream and kept putting his big noggin on top of my chest and whimpering. His big brown eyes had a sad appearance. I reached to pet him but I could not reach him.

The kids were all speaking in hushed tones, almost like they didn't want me to hear the conversation. Kim just stood there, placing her hands into my right hand and squeezing, almost as though she was trying to wake me up.

I felt, I felt, I felt numb all over. I felt nothing, as though it were an out-of-body experience. It was very odd, very odd indeed. I felt no pain, heat, or cold, I sensed nothing. 

Then I snapped awake for good, realized I was sitting in the rocker, and looking out my big window. The strangest part, I was the only one in the room in the entire house. It was then that I comprehended what was outside the window.

The flower beds, which should have been flattened from the winds and rain, were all in brilliant bloom and standing tall in the sunshine. Wait a minute, the sky has changed.

I saw a surreal change in the night sky. The first thing, I heard nothing… no more thunder… no more howling wind… and no more rain… nothing. The pitch blackness had dissipated and given way to the rising sun. It showed a cloudless sky and the grass gave the appearance of not having been rained on this night.

As I looked through the window and took it all in, I remembered my running dreams, all of them, because I realized, at last, they were not dreams at all. They were the real-life events as they had occurred with me. 

I had not been dreaming at all, but flashing in and out of consciousness and it had gathered my family around me to the end. I have passed on and had been given the responsibility of preparing for the arrival, one day, of my family. 

The darkness of the night had passed and I now was living in the light. And the window, my window, was not for looking outside of my home. I now understood the window was a look into the soul.