The Misguiding Cajun AirPort Saga

Tee Gav was a country boy through and through. He didn’t have much city sense, but he knew he was mighty smarter than the average country boy. Though, he would argue that country boys were smarter than your average city dweller.

He knew absolutely three things. 1. He was the Lord’s through and through. 2. He was a fine, meticulous carpenter who could play the accordion as if the Devil was on his heels, and 3. He was confident that he could get around anywhere without a map.

One day, Tee Gav received a letter from his friend Derrik. In the letter, Derrik asked for Tee Gav to come stay with him in New York City. Tee Gav always wanted to visit the great city but never had a chance to do so.

Until now.

Tee Gav read the letter down to the T and wrote down the instructions on how to get from the airport to Derrik’s apartment. Derrik was a perfectionist in his explanation on how to specifically get to his apartment. While Tee Gav was meticulous in his carpenter work, Derrik was meticulously in directions.

Tee Gav woke up on one particular Monday morning with the intent of going to the airport. His girlfriend Claudia picked him up in her pick-up truck. On the way over there, they stopped at Billy’s for some boudin, cracklins, and other specialty items so that way he could eat to his heart’s content. He wouldn’t have his good food until he returned a week later. Claudia didn’t know how Tee Gav was going to survive without his usual daily staple.

“Ah, sha, you kno’ I’mma gon be awright. Don ya worry.” He patted Claudia’s hand as he took his duffle from the back. “Imma jus gon fir a week.”

“True,” Claudia said with a sigh. “Imma miss you.”

Tee Gav’s eyes softened, and he leaned in the driver’s side to give her a peck. “Don worr’ya lil hart, sha, I’be back fore ya kno’ eet.”

Claudia smiled and then said her goodbyes before driving off. Tee Gav stretched his arms over his head and said, “leggoo!”

He walked into the airport lobby and then proceeded to the terminal where he was to catch his flight ten minutes later. He walked casually to the terminal booth and handed his ticket.

“Okay, sir, you have to go to the TSA to check your bags.” The airport worker said in a professional, nasally voice. She handed the ticket back and pointed to the right direction.

“Oh, welna sha, I needda go awn dat plan’ and gar-untee dat I wen’ tru da TAS ‘fore dis.” Tee Gav said, stuttering slightly. The terminal worker just stared at him, as if trying to decipher something.

“Sir, you still must go through TSA… You don’t have clearance. I don’t know how you got past the TSA, but you must get your bags checked before boarding the plane.”

Tee Gav pressed the bridge between his nose with his forefinger and thumb. “Missus Kerrin,” He squinted at her name badge. “I awready todya dat I awready wen tru da TAS.”

The customer service rep, named Karen, just gave Tee Gavin a deadpanned look. “Sir…I’ve got to ask….What is the TAS?”

“Wel, wat ya jus tol’ meh! Da TAS!”

“It’s not TAS, it’s TSA, Transportation Security Administration.”

“Ahwel, I don kno wat dat is, sha. I jus kno dat I needs ta go ta terimal 2 ta git ta mah plane.” He rubbed the back of his head, grimacing as she just kept on staring at him, as if to try to translate what he just said or call someone else to have to deal with this particular customer.

Sighing in slight frustration, she continued, “Sir, you have to go through TSA before we can board you and you only have five more minutes until the boarding ceases and the plane takes off. You’re not going to make it through if you stand here and argue with me.”

“Wellnah Sha, I’mnowt arguin, jus tryna figur awt why I gotta goh tru TAS agin.” Tee Gav said. His frown was more prominent on his face as he shuffled his feet. He could feel the line behind him getting longer. Sweat began to pool upon his large eyebrows that were tufted up. “I don undastan why I gotta goh cause I wen tru befo’.”

Flabbergasted, the worker turned on her heels, called for a supervisor from the backroom. The supervisor was a tall, balding man with a long handlebar mustache. His sharp blue eyes zeroed in on Tee Gav. Karen, the worker, was walking behind him, saying, “I cannot understand what this man is saying. He keeps on mentioning that he already checked in through the TSA, which he keeps calling TAS.” She cupped her hand to whisper in the supervisor’s ear. “I just can’t understand his accent.”

“Now look ‘ere sha, I may spek diff’ntly, but I ain’t deef.” Tee Gav said. Annoyance colored his tone as he stared at the young woman who blushed slightly from being called out. “Now, I hafa lil ova tree mins. Canya hep meh or nah?”

“Hand me your ID and ticket.” The supervisor, who Tee Gav could read on the supervisor’s nametag, was named Dave. Tee Gavin obliged, handed the ticket and his ID. Going through a series of motions on the computer keys, Dave smiled and said, “Okay, we have your TSA approval that you did online.” He looked at Karen and continued just to her. “You should have checked with this right here instead of the normal tickets.”

“Oh,” Karen’s face flushed, but she still had a few things to say in her defense, “well if I could have just understood what he was meaning.”

The supervisor gave a knowing look at Karen, then apologized to Tee Gav. “You may board sir. So sorry for the delay. I’ll make sure you personally get there.” Dave walked around the counter, then stared at Karen, “When I get back, we will have to go through some more training for you to treat our guests better.” With that, he escorted Tee Gav directly.

“Ya hav’a un, Sha!”

Karen gritted her teeth as she watched Tee Gav walk away. “Why is he always calling me Sha! My name is Karen…”

The End.