Stars

My eyes take in the vast darkness that surrounds me, its infinite blackness punctured by the light of the glittering stars. The heat from the nearby star radiates around me, dispelling the chilling cold of the empty space, but it is not that heat that keeps me warm, for my siblings face eternal iciness despite residing so close to our parent star. It is, rather, the life blooming in the frigid depths of my being that envelops me in unparalleled warmth and stirs an unknown feeling within me——a feeling Mother says, is love and one that Father claims to be protectiveness. I do not yet understand these feelings, but I do like to see the budding lives inside me thrive, and for that, I allow the warmth that created me seep into the watery depths of my being, blessing my first ever creations with the ability to create more of themselves and with time, more of others. 

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My eyes adjust to the stars gleaming all around me, each with their own families to care for. It has been a long time since I last opened my eyes, and although my family feels that no time has passed, I sense that a huge change has taken place in my absence. I am no longer covered in water, rather my once blue skin has patches of black and gold peeking through, water flowing through them like veins in my own physical form. It is new to me, but I know that these patches are called land, for my siblings too, are covered in beautiful red soil. I call the black parts soil and the gold grains sand, for I can feel that those are two different materials.

It is not only my form that has changed. In my long absence, my children have grown into beautiful creatures, and some have even started to walk on land. The underwater, I see, is covered in various plant lives, but my eyes fail to hold on to anything of the sort on land. My conscience refuses to keep the land so barren. I create a beautiful landscape full of green plant-life and tie my own life-force to them so that my children can live. Anyone who consumes these plants are blessed with my essence, thus, keeping life alive and thriving on my being. However, this doesn’t come easy for my beloved children for from now, they will have to depend on my parent star just as I am dependent on him to remain alive. 

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I jolt awake to a huge object colliding with me, the force of the impact causing searing hot pain to travel through my being. A huge chunk of my form rips away, yet it is not what fills me with anguish. The pain neither hurts me, nor numbs me as much as the loss of my children does. I lose so many of my beloved children—— children I nursed with my own flesh, blood and being that I am unable to comprehend my own existence, let alone that of my remaining children. I slip back into my unconscious state. 

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Nightmares plague me. Images of my own birth flash before my eyes. I feel the pain I had felt millennia ago, back when I was a new-born. I feel the raw pain of hot lava that once raged through my form before it cooled down to a soft flow under the layers of my skin. I go though the whole of my creation, each moment bringing more pain than the last. My huge form shakes with pain. I can feel fissures spreading through my body. 

The last moment of my consciousness haunts me. The images of my children dying blind me with rage and anguish yet again, despite it being a long time since its occurrence. I tremble with emotions. Water sweeps the land. 

The future taunts me. I see visions of my children cutting down my life-force. I see my children hurting themselves, hurting their siblings, hurting their mother, hurting me. I see my beloved children dying because of one group of my creations, and I cannot bear it. My nightmares show me the visions of myself struggling to breathe, struggling to live, struggling to see my siblings and the stars. I am unable to bear it any longer. Mountains rise from the sea, valleys appear between huge folds of land, volcanoes spew the fire I have contained for so long. 

Silence. My exhaustion conceals all my feelings. I vaguely sense the change my nightmares and emotions brought upon the landscape that decorates me. I do not realize the change. I do not open my mind. I do not see. I silently drift back into a long, peaceful sleep. 

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My pain has subsided. Nightmares have stopped haunting my sleep. For the first time in ages, my consciousness expands to sense my beloved children. I see smiling mountains, hollow valleys and deep oceans. I sense the fresh air flowing through me, breathing life into my children. I notice the green forests and many new species of my children. They are beautiful. The loss of my previous children hurts me still, but I am content seeing the new life thriving on me. I shall protect and raise these children for as long as I can see the stars. 

I peer deeper into my consciousness. I can see all my children, all exceedingly beautiful than the last. But what draws my attention are these new species who call themselves humans. These creatures take my breath away. They are extraordinary forms of life, not because they have evolved in the image of my own physical form, but because they co-exist with nature. These children of mine are not dependent on the nature as much as my other children are and given time, they will learn to exist without their siblings, my remaining children. 

My nightmares return, although this time, I am fully awake. I see the destruction these humans will bring upon me and in return, my other children. I see that not all of them will survive, but the ones that do, will be the worst of them all. I realize, with heavy heart, that if I wish for the rest of my children to live, these children of mine must die. However, I cannot bring myself to do it. These humans feel a lot of emotions, and I feel those emotions with them. Whatever the future, I feel that for now, they hold a lot of love for the nature and for me, their mother. No, I decide, I will not kill them now. I will see how good they are, how much they love the nature and their siblings. I will judge their morals and if they fail, then I shall unleash my wrath upon them. But, right now, they are my children and I shall protect them as I protect the others. 

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The humans are thriving. They have come so far. They have learnt to live without the forest, but wherever they go, they carry nature with them. Many gods have sprouted in different parts of the world over the centuries. Nurtured by the belief of these humans, these gods exist and grow powerful. The humans worship these powerful entities. I find it funny—— an emotion I picked up from these humans—— that they worship their own creations. Different people—— people, another word the humans call themselves—— from different parts of the world have varying views on how I came to be, how they came to be, who the gods are, but it fills me with joy to see that none of them forget me. They call me Mother Earth, the mother of all living beings. 

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A long time has passed. Humans have grown further from the nature. Some of them are starting to forget the gods. It is sad to see the once powerful creatures fade in radiance, killed by the ones who created them. These humans are starting to believe more in this new concept called science, which preaches them the exact same thing the gods have been trying to show them. It might be time to call them back, dissolve them into my essence, for I fear that the longer they stay alive, the more destruction they will cause, but my love for them causes my will to waver. 

I cannot. Not now.

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War rages on in every corner of the world. Despite being created equal, some humans have started to believe that they are superior than the others of their own kind. Hatred bleeds inside these humans as the blood of the slain bleeds into my being.

The gods grow radiant. In the midst of chaos, people confide in the gods, believe in them to protect them, and they do. The gods try their best to help pause the war, but when human-kind is divided, the gods that they created cannot remain united. 

My inner voice tells me to wipe the humans from my being, that they do not deserve to live after being so cruel to their own race, but I refuse. I believe that they can change. I believe that they can re-unite with the nature and live in harmony with all of creation. 

No, I refuse, now is not the time.

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Change they did. The humans changed, and not just themselves. They changed my whole being. Grey buildings rise out of the soil. Green forests exist sparse. Animals—— what the humans call my other children—— die in some parts, go extinct in the other. I weep to see some of my favorite children die by the hands of my own children. Humans churn out smoke from these buildings they call factories. They dump waste onto my body. 

I know that these humans deserve to live no longer. They have caused so much destruction. But, I cannot bring myself to wipe out their species for there still remain those who care for the nature and my other children. Their warmth dilutes the coldness of my evil children.  

They will destroy all your other children if you let them continue to live. My inner voice says. But, I cannot. I am suffocating. I cannot stay awake. I drift back into sleep. 

Later. 

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Stars... Where are the stars? I cannot see them. I stretch my eyes as far as I can see, but grey clouds my vision. Even the comforting blackness that surrounded me exists no more, veiled by the grey that envelops me. Father’s radiation doesn’t reach me anymore, nor does the warmth of the trace of my living children. 

My children! Where are they? I peer deep within me. My heart stills in shock. What happened? Where are the forests? The animals? The caring humans? Even the faint glow of the fading gods remains no more. 

Rage fills my being. This is too much. The humans have destroyed my children, my essence. I should’ve removed them earlier. I can still sense the cruelty of the humans lingering deep within me. They are still alive, but the kindness and love that once defined them exists no more. 

I once promised to love and protect my children till I can see the stars. But, I can see them no more. I cannot sense the children I made that oath to. I failed them. I couldn’t protect them, but I will avenge them. 

I leave my physical form, taking my true form of pure energy. I leave the planet that I was bound to. In doing so, I know I will fade, but so will the cruel humans. That thought lingers sweeter than Ether, the essence of Mother. 

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I feel myself fading, my energy dissolving into that of my mother. I see and feel each second of my lifetime as if it were a thousand years. But, it doesn’t matter anymore. I am dying and I welcome death with open arms.

In the last moment of my life, my eyes flutter open. Black space surrounds me and in it, dispelling away the darkness, I see the stars. Glittering with the same vividness that I remember from the time of my creation. The stars welcome me with warm smiles. I try to smile back. In the agony of death, I feel pure bliss. I can see the stars again. All will be well.