Intergalactic Unfairness

The remains of approximately seven hundred trillion, five hundred and thirty seven billion, four hundred ninety seven million, and 7 living beings lay scattered around a now desolate and more importantly, lifeless part of the universe.

The reality however was that this scene wasn’t nearly as gorey as you might immediately imagine. Any signs of the remnants of life were completely overshadowed by the instead massive chunks of beautifully colored rocks, once intact planets, now floating around still drifting further apart from the impact. All the carbon and hydrogen that had once made up ecosystems on these planets was now cosmic dust, littered between sharp jagged rocks. Most noticeably however, were the enormous shapes that appeared like hundreds of spheres had been cut in half. From the swirling deep blues to bright pinks to intense oranges, it was like the largest and most jarring evidence of this deceased solar system was trying to create a color wheel with what was left.

The scene was as if a giant someone had just come through and mercilessly slashed through this part of the cosmos with a giant sword, which funnily enough, was exactly the case…

Ohrion (not to be confused with the more famous and more fashionable Orion), buttoned the last button of his tuxedo while looking at himself in the mirror. In the most stereotypical way of someone getting ready in a story, Ohrion topped his look off by pulling out a comb seemingly out of nowhere and parting his hair to the side, not without making sure to curl the very end of it. 

Ohrion flashed a grin at the mirror and shot himself with two finger guns. Damn he looked good, he thought to himself. His phone buzzed, drawing his attention away from him. It was a notification he’d been waiting for.

“On the way.” His date texted, the time 7:17 snapping him back into reality and spiking a sense of urgency.

He rushed into the bathroom, quickly putting on deodorant and spraying a criminally large amount of cologne on his torso. 

He sprinted out the door slamming it behind him and hopped into his car. He blazed to the restaurant, topping out at 5 mph below the speed limit and seeing stars from all the high beams in his rear view mirror. He was a very cautious driver, to put it politely. 

He jumped out his car, shot his way down the sidewalk, and gracefully barged through the front door perfectly at quarter to 8 – just 15 minutes late. He looked around, a bit flustered. 

“Ohrion?” A woman’s voice caught him off guard. He spun to the side to see his date dressed in black jeans with a brown coat.

“You got me!” Ohrion joked, throwing his hands up.

She scanned him up and down.

“Well, you definitely don’t have to worry about being underdressed.” She commented, laughing nervously after saying that. Ohrion looked around, taking the chance to catch the vibe of the restaurant. He might have been the only person besides the waiters wearing a tux. Ohrion frowned, pitying them. It takes years to develop as sophisticated a style as his. 

“It’s just one tux of many.” He smirked, popping his collar.

The receptionist led them through the bustling rows of the restaurant, stopping at a small table for two with a tiny glass vase of a few small flowers and a glass figurine of a frog that looked more unfortunate than endearing. 

“Your waiter will be with you guys shortly.” The hostess passed out the two menus and hurried back to the front. They were busy today. 

“You ever have Italian food before?” Ohrion said in a deeper voice, potentially trying to come off sexier than usual.

“You mean have I ever had pasta before?” His date replied, not able to mask a short laugh. 

“Cause no worries I can show you the ropes girl.” Ohrion said smooth as butter. He was on fire already, probably, and they hadn’t even gotten water yet. 

“Uh, yea I’ve had Italian food before,” She responded, “I didn’t realize people hadn’t.”

“I mean not everyone’s as well traveled right.” Ohrion bounced back. To be fair, maybe he thought some people weren’t interested or knowledgeable about cuisines from other planets. And to be even fairer, Earth, which was the planet Italian food could originally be traced back to, was one of those tiny little mini planets in the universe that some more opinionated people would claim shouldn’t even be considered a planet. When you think about it, if the average person from their respective world was larger than the entire planet of someone else's world, ignorant views could start to come to existence. But on the contrary, Italian was a cuisine so powerful it had managed to transcend galaxies giving Earth a much higher spot in the cosmos then it should’ve gotten, and more importantly, providing it a lot of protection other mini planets weren’t so fortunate to get. 

They sat in silence for a little bit, both either deep in thought studying the menu or pretending to be. The waiter quickly returned with their waters allowing any nervous hands something else to interact with.

“So, can I ask what made you want to go out with me?” Ohrion asked, comfortably leaning back into his chair and resting his elbow on the back of it, “It’s something I ask all my dates.”

“All your dates?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows while putting her water down.

“Oh yea I mean like just wanna know, you know? And like I’m single I go on dates.” Ohrion had tensed up a little, moving closer into the table now. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that second part. “Like I’m not a player, I just, you know.” 

“No like I meant like that was kinda an interesting way to put it.” She said.

“Oh so you think I’m interesting.” Ohrion raised his eyebrows, a grin away from breaking into a smile.

“I mean interested enough to go on a date sure.” 

“How interesting?”

She paused.

“Hm, you’re definitely interested in you!”

“What?”

The waiter interrupted their really good conversation introducing herself.

“Either of you guys been here before?” The waiter asked to which they both shook their heads, “Well that’s great! You guys are in for a treat, let me tell ya.” 

And she went on a classic spiel of the specials she knew they wouldn’t listen to and they knew they wouldn’t order. When that was done and dusted, she asked about drinks.

“I’ll take a glass of a shrum on the rocks please.” Ohrion requested, hoping it was an impressive thing to ask for.

“Actually, I’ll also get a glass of shrum.” His date said surprised, catching each others gaze and smiling. Drinking brings people together. 

“Sure thing!” The waiter chirped and spun back towards the kitchen.

“Huh, don’t think I’ve ever seen someone order a glass of straight shrum before.” His date smiled, saying to him.

“I was gonna say the same thing actually. I-” Ohrion was going to continue when a group of small, suited up men who seemed to had just entered the restaurant caught his eye. His date turned over to see what he was looking at.

“Woah is that the IIF?” His date said, her eyes widening. To Ohrion’s dismay, it indeed was the Intergalactic Investigation Force.

“What are they doing here…” Ohrion muttered out loud. He’d instantly grown tense and it felt like the air in the room had gone out. The comforting drone of a restaurant that had been in carefree conversation was now reduced to hush whispers with most people also eyeing the latest visitors. 

“That’s so crazy…” His date said excitedly, “I’ve never seen the IIF before! They’re so tiny.”

Ohrion was watching them intensely, barely even registering that his date had something.

“Do you think they’re looking for someone?” She asked as giddily as could be asked quietly. 

Ohrions mind was racing. He eyed the doors he’d originally come in from realizing that was realistically the only way out this place. 

“Ohrion!” She whispered. He looked her way.

“Huh?”

“I bet it's about those planets!” She remarked.

“What! No.” Ohrion snapped, wishing in that moment he didn’t know what she was talking about.

Suddenly, the men were behind him. His blood went cold. In those two seconds she had had his attention, he’d completely missed it. It’s over, he thought to himself. 

Ohrion began to close his eyes, nearly feeling their small hands on his shoulders before they actually were there. And then they never came.

“Hey!” A shout came from what felt like right next to him. 

Ohrion opened his eyes to look over his shoulder. 

The men had their hands on a visibly upset and not as well dressed man at the table adjacent to his. They began to pull him out of his seat, which was a nearly comical sight given they were all nearly half the man’s size.

“Hey what is this about!” The man cried as his hands quickly became tied up in an unbreakable lazer rope.

“You’re under arrest in investigation of the mass murder of the Solarion Solar System. You should now for now this is just an investigation, you have the right to remain -” 

“Wha, what!” The man panicked, as he was now being dragged away on the restaurant floor, “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!” 

“You’re under investigation from the intergalactic space court-”

Ohrion quickly pushed himself out of his seat and made his way to the bathroom, blocking out whatever other nonsense they were on about.

He stood over the sink, breathing hard. He eyed himself in the mirror, in no way shape or form as confident as he’d done earlier that day.

“Wow well that was nuts!” His date said, as Ohrion sat back down at their table. The volume of the restaurant had not only resumed, but nearly doubled from the rush of what everyone had just witnessed.

“Yea what the heck.” Ohrion responded, not as interested in the food he had ordered anymore. 

“I have chills almost.” She remarked, looking at her arms, “I mean I can’t believe we were that close to someone like that.”

That comment seemed to strike a chord in Ohrion.

“Someone like that?” He questioned.

“Yea,” She laughed, “Like a mass murderer.”

Ohrion sat back in his chair.

“So that was about those planets right.” Ohrion questioned, “The one’s everyone can’t seem to stop talking about.”

“I mean yea it’s hard not to talk about it. Most people that have gone and slashed planets at least had the decency to stop at one. Whoever that guy was, he took out a whole system.”

“Oh come on,” Ohrion groaned, “Are we really gonna act like those are planets like ours.”

His date suddenly turned to face him, clearly taken aback by that comment.

“Excuse me!” 

“I mean they’re rocks taking up space! How can we even be for sure there’s life in those things.”

“I’m not gonna have this conversation with you Ohrion.” His date responded, clearly flabbergasted, “It’s completely proven there are living beings in them.”

Sure, like bugs. Ohrion thought to himself but he didn’t want to keep up this talk either.

“I’m not completely serious,” He said out loud. They both looked at their food and decided that was a good point to resume eating it.

“I wanted to ask,” Ohrion said after a while, “So do you like watching sports.”

“I’m not super into them, no.” His date responded.

Ohrion flipped the switch of his bedroom and closed the door. Warm, bright little light bulbs that were strung around lit up the room, followed closely by little speckles of much tinier bulbs, meant to resemble the starts in the sky. He made his way to his favorite lavender scented candle and lit it. He sat down on his bed, smiling, thinking of how well the date went. His phone buzzed and he reached into his pocket

“It was nice to meet you, but I don’t think we really get each other too well. Good luck!” The message hit Ohrion like a truck. He chucked his phone onto his bed and collapsed to the ground in disarray. How could she not be interested in someone like him? 

The faint purplish glow of a sword propped up against the wall appeared blurred through Ohrion’s tear filled eyes. Slowly, he picked himself up and grabbed carefully the sword by the blade and opened up the door to his closet. Life was terribly unfair, he thought to himself, as he placed it in the corner and wiped the tears from his eyes.