Her captivatingly elegant movements are a magnificent sight to behold. The girl’s silky long hair cascade down her slim shoulders, as she alluringly wraps her slender and pale fingers around the wisps of her perfectly-trimmed strands. She gently pushes them back, towards her slightly rounded ears with light delicacy. Her each and every action is extraordinarily fascinating with no dynamism. She is attentively reading the current page in the enormous classroom laid out as a structure of a giant rectangle.
The silent gust of wind goes past her unnoticed concerns, the small yet trimmed grass curving with the smooth direction of the wind. The mesmerising crimson roses go along with nature’s course as she cautiously looks up towards the large man who is quietly standing at the front. However, he remains unable to speak due to the distracting illusion that was just set-up. It is not uncommon. The pure act of elegance and the chilling cold aura she displays is something no one could just comprehend. She peacefully sits down, immediately attracting the students.
They were, like the teacher, unbelievably silent. They can’t understand what just took place, or how the situation is even made. She, having an uncaring personality, fails to recognize her positive impact and impression. But, who knew, even someone as cold and mean as her could be the bubbliest and the most adorable child you could find in the suburbs. Suddenly, the bell rings, indicating that it is time to pack up and just quickly be dismissed. Yet, the first thing she does is smile, the creepiness and frightening air of it clearly evident in her eyes.
The others obviously don’t notice, and are without any doubt warmly met by their group gatherings, getting easily comfortable in their blissful conversations. She casts a brief glance in the classroom, plain disgust shown momentarily in her eyes as if she has never witnessed such a dirty and awful scene. Looking back, she sighs heavily. Slowly she puts her redesigned books in her black Nike bag. She glances down and meticulously ties up the jet black shoe laces, which were somewhere they didn’t belong, on the hard, concrete ground.
She briefly scans the room with her sharp gaze making sure no one is focusing their attention at her. As soon as she confirms her fleeting suspicions, she gets up just as quick, paying no mind to some people who are walking loudly into the classroom. Their bustling personalities instantly intrigue the loud crowd inside the already full classroom. But, rather than just casually ignoring the large group, all curious and amazed eyes are on them. She unconsciously clicks her soft tongue in pure annoyance, wondering this mysterious group’s identity. However, it is none of her business.
As she tries to avoid all attraction, she efficiently glides through the groups of people. She is relieved and glad that she didn’t get caught by others and gotten herself involved with some utterly useless conversations which are of no use to her, whatsoever. However, it seems that lady luck is a no show on her side today.
As soon as someone distinctively sounds her out from others, she immediately looks up. She then notices the man who is standing in the middle of this massive group. He is approaching her at a fast pace, his big footsteps giving her even less time to think. It is known that human nature indicates how people can be to be nervous when talking to someone bigger and more intimidating than you. But, she was a total exception.
She stands straight, showing not even a slight hint of fear in her continuous expression alterations, glad of practicing mind control. She quietly stands, waiting for his crappy spark of a conversation. He is a high school student, but it seems that he has the same level of maturity and qualifications in academics as her. His temperament was also quite relaxed, and from the looks of it he has also taken an unintentional interest in her. The action is easily visible as his friends whistle and scream approving comments.
However, to the two main parties involved, it couldn’t have been more easily seen. He didn’t have a romantic interest in her, but rather a curious amusement that she had somehow provided him. He specifically called her, not for an inappropriate reason, but rather a personality check. “So, what’s up?” Why were you running away?” He speaks, his voice having a light playfulness to it, but holding power and authority, demanding respect and a simple answer.
“Get lost,” is her response to someone like him. She has never liked such people who disrespect personal boundaries and think the world revolves around them. Their stupid attitude is what gets her to a boiling point at times. She sighs, trying to cool down her ranging emotions which were crawling to the surface. She suddenly turns, surprising the crowd watching the drama. They know. They know that this, just now, wasn’t an indirect attraction, but rather a blunt rejection. She is straightforward and serious in every step of her life, and so she never wants to go down this path again. Not after what happened all those years ago.
He stands there stupefied and stunned at what just happened. With her slowly disappearing from his caustic gaze, he doesn’t realize he has been holding his breath carefully. He is afraid. Afraid of a girl. As he starts releasing it and processing what just happened, his friends start coming up to him. Them, being the ‘popular’ ones, they make snarky comments about the deadpanning rejection that made its way into the classroom.
Her, on the other hand, might as well be unaffected by the event that unfolded itself this morning. She looks at her tiny but convenient digital watch. It looks she won’t be needing to attend the classes in the afternoon. She had already covered the content in her former years and she just especially wasn’t bothered to go anymore. The place ruined her mood and the atmosphere around her. She takes her phone out and scans the latest news. She slowly makes her way to the daily news on google and is amused to find a familiar, a very familiar face that brought nothing but disgrace upon her name.
Suzie Rosewell, her ex best friend, is someone who is a trending and rising star that is topping all the charts for newcomer’s award. Her face, her expressions, even her very voice were the very definition of Satan for her. The horrible things that she did to her a few years ago. The way Suzie framed her for the life-threatening things SHE did. Miss Rosewell, in front of everyone, apparently claimed that her severe injuries were caused by a certain person, and that was her. This not only got her expelled, but it also incurred the wrath and her exclusion of her family.
Just the thought of that hypocritical woman brought her normal-self to a metal breakdown. She couldn’t control, and was reminded everyday of how people looked at her in her nightmares. Suzie’s actions that day reminded her just how fickle and cruel the human mind can possibly be. She looks over again and a small light bulb pops into her head. She smirks, then laughs hysterically. She clutches her stomach and tries to get the hair out of her face. No wonder she is called a genius. Since dearest Suzie has decided to enter the entertainment circle, then that’s exactly what she will do. She will show, that in the end, she is definitely going to be the winner. A winner so overwhelmingly powerful, she wouldn’t dare go against her.
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4 comments
I think you've tried really hard to build the school atmosphere here, Fatima, and you describe lots of little scenes that are quite effective but I think this would be even better with a little more sense of a storyline. Why has your main character gone back to school? I like the way that you give some backstory about her ex-best friend, Suzie - you're clearly thinking about things that might have happened to your character (and maybe those are the things that make her so aloof now?). Your grammar's off in a couple of places - " Them, bei...
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Wow! What a harsh opinion!! But really, I'm sorry u had to pick out such mistakes on my parts. i am very happy that u gave me such an honest opinion. People do say my stories can be a bit over complicated and hard to understand. Thank you for telling me that my stories can be better, and most of all thank you for reading it!! P.S. tell me wat u think bout my other stories.
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I’m really sorry if you thought it sounded harsh- don’t forget that I started and ended by pointing g out positives. I think you’ve got a lot of potential with your writing. If other people have said you over complicate things, then perhaps that would be a good place to start - maybe give yourself a character, location and a main event and begin by setting the scene, then tell the story and let us see what the character is like through the way the character responds to the main event and reacts with minor characters. What you have here in th...
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It was a joke. I know what you said is right and will strive to do better in the next stories i write. To say I'm surprised is the least I'm feeling. You pointed out a lot of my mistakes. You told me that I can do better, and gave me real, actual tips to improve my writings. So, I'll say it again, thanks a lot!!!
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